I watched as the dark blood slowly traveled along the edge of the knife, when it finally reached the tip I gave the knife a faint jerk and the blood dropped, staining the fresh white snow. I stared at my hands in incredulity; fingernails were broken and blue, skin ripped and bloodied and clothes covered in soil and partial blood. A sudden sound of something crushing the snow somewhere near me grabbed my attention, I saw a figure walking towards me through the thick of mist. At the crack of dawn everything was still inky blue and dark. We both were near a frozen lake in the middle of snow covered woods, trying to find and hide the horrors of past.
"Kiara" he said in a voice that indicated his frustration, he wanted to call my name loudly but couldn't let others hear it.
I craned my neck to look at him, he was covered in soil and sweat. Standing up I slipped the blood-covered knife and it crashed on the snow. We had done a horrible deed. A sin that was enough to send us tumbling down to the feet of the devil himself. Something that has paved our path towards hell.
"Did you do it?" I asked in a monotonous voice and he nodded.
"Its not very far." he said as he cleaned his hands on his jeans, "Its on the edge of the lake; traceable if you memorize the spot. Although it was a deep dig."
I glanced up at him, I couldn't wrap my mind around our own action, moreover it was becoming difficult for me to conclude if our motive was worthy enough of our deeds, "Whats wrong with you?" he hissed through his teeth.
"I don't know if we should have done it." i whispered.
He looked back at the place where he had come from, "you can not possibly be thinking about anything else rather than finishing this up" he glanced down at the knife."You know this was important. We had to do this for us, for our own benefit," he paused, "we need each other the most right now Kiara" his voice was ever so gentle.
"I..she was your-" my voice got caught in my throat
"I know who she was." He growled, "What she meant to me and the relationship I had shared with her." He clenched his jaw visibly, "also, If this is any reminder then you should consider that it is much harder for me than it is for you" he grabbed me from my arms, "I didn't want to do this, but we had no choice and you should remember that."
I looked up at him - looked at his silhouette - a faint imagery, his eyes were red and swollen, he claimed it was from all the drinking while I believed it was from crying all night long, "how can you be so..." I paused for words, "so ruthless"
He gave my body a sharp jerk and I stumbled back a little, "ruthless" he stabbed me on the corner of my chest and I stumbled further back, "I am ruthless?"
A jab again and I almost fell on the ground but he grabbed me with my wrists and pulled me closer to him, I could smell his cologne mix up with the smell of soil and partially by blood, his breathing was jagged as he whispered in my ear "Do you even have the faintest of idea how tough it is to do what i have done?" He pulled me closer, wrapping an arm tightly around my waist; crushing me "if this is affecting you so much then just let two of your brain cells make a spark and think how much harder it is for me, and above that, think that what i have done right now, I did partially for you and not solely for myself" the aggression in his voice numbed me but I knew I had to hide it if I wanted to survive with him.
"I am not saying it's not tough but you can't just act like this is nothing," I said in an equally aggressive tone.
His hold on my wrist tightened, "If you can't see it then you never cared enough to notice the little details"
My blood boiled, his words were like a dagger in my chest and I pushed him away, "to hell with you and your details, you have been nothing more than a parasite who hollowed his own soul because it was too much for him to care, and we are here doing this horrible thing because you never cared enough to know your own-" I paused, "guess what - if you had cared, you wouldn't have been digging this grave here tonight"
He stood there staring at me in disbelief while I shoved my hands inside my pockets, however, it didn't take me long to realize that I shouldn't have said that, "I..." I looked up at him and saw his eyes filling up with raged tears, "I am sorry." I took a step towards him, "I didn't mean to say that"
He sniffed, "yeah? what exactly did you mean then?" His voice has turned hauntingly calm and I felt something sink in me while a chill ran down my spine, "You have no idea what it was like living with her. She was nothing but a walking corpse. Above all she was a-" he cut himself off.
I debated touching him, "I... I know, I am just too deep into this... You can't be sure about what she was" I was completely aware that the last of my words would start a hurricane inside him but I had already expressed myself
He held his hand up for me to stop, "I don't need justification from someone like you Kiara, You know nothing about me, my life and my past.... but get this straight, I don't care what happens to you, I am here because I have a motive and all I want is to clean this mess up"
I hesitated and he seemed to notice it. I took a jagged breath and stiffened myself for the task at hand. He stepped closer and I could see the darkness in his eyes, "Do you think this would be enough?" I asked.
"For now?" He looked around, "It would be more than enough. Luckily the snow will make the bump in the ground undetectable and by the time snow melts - which won't be for at least two more months - the soil will settle, however, I will come back frequently to check"
"What if someone finds out?" I bit my lip in nervousness.
He looked at me, the devil in his eyes and a crooked smile on his lips, "If I have learned anything in my life at all then I know - a lie when told effectively proves to be more convincing than the truth itself."
I gulped, closed my eyes and nodded, "I just never want to return to this place ever again."
He snickered, "Don't live a delusional life, this will become your home once everything is settled. Maybe you will build a home right above this." He glanced at me and then looked at the hole, "Or maybe you already have." I saw a glint of hatred in his eyes, I knew it was not for me but i couldn't shake the feeling of dread creeping in my mind. I trusted him, sure, but did I trust him enough?
I glanced up at him dumbfounded by his words "Now come on we have to finish this before it gets any brighter and people start to come this way. Also, there is something that you should see."
He started to walk towards the hole he had dug and I followed him. He glanced back, "For the love of everything that is precious, please don't leave the bloody knife behind we don't want your prints or DNA being scattered around for people to find."
I turned back and picked up the knife. The smell of blood has settled in my brain so vividly that I didn't think I would be able to terminate it from my memory any sooner. I pulled out a handkerchief and wrapped the knife in it, placing it back in my pocket I followed him.
As I neared the hole in the ground a strong decaying smell filled my nostrils and I instantly felt sick. A lump formed in my throat and it became harder to breathe. Every effort of breathing clean air resulted in a stronger waft of rotting smell and a hit of flies and wasps against my skin. When I could not take it any longer I turned around and ran towards the nearest tree, throwing up against it.
I felt a graze of fingers on my cheek as he pulled my hair back from my face. He gently pulled back my hair giving me space and slowly started rubbing my back. I threw up more and when I was done he handed me his handkerchief, "why is that so-" before I could speak further another wave hit me and I had to turn back. "That is what's confusing me, it should not be like this. It shouldn't be this bad."
I turned to look at him, utterly confused, "what do you mean?"
He didn't answer, simply took my hand and walked me towards it, I covered my face with the inside of my elbow and he did the same.
When we finally arrived at the edge I looked inside, wasps had started to round in and I could see something shine. I instantly knew what it was, but what chilled my soul with horror was the way it was attached, so precisely that it's really easy to miss even with a good look.
"How in million hells is this possible?" I exclaimed.
"See what I mean?" He looked at me.
"But... But didn't this?"
"It's impossible" he said rubbing a finger on his eyebrow.
I dropped to my knees and flashed the light of my phone at it, "how did it even happen?" I asked as my heart dropped.
"The only thing that is important to us was with her and now ..." He ran his fingers through his hair in frustration, "Damn it...!" He kicked the shovel, "someone is ahead of us" he said as he looked at me.
"How did you not know about it" I almost raised my voice to the level of shouting.
"Keep your voice down" he hissed in anger, "we were not in the right state when it happened okay, I might have missed it."
He was not wrong but now what we wanted was in the grave which we needed to close as soon as possible because the day was going to get brighter and the fog wasn't going to cover for us any longer.
"What do we do now?"
"It's simple," a voice too similar to my ears spoke from somewhere behind us, "You are back to square one or so it seems. You need to focuse on more intricate details this time. Do the same thing in a different manner." We both turned towards the voice that has startled us, someone has found us amidst our deeds of horror.
I looked at the figure in the faint light, approaching us with a confident smile but a grim expression. Looking sideways I found my companion looking at me and then he held my hand, "two people can not hallucinate about the same thing at the same time right?"