Cain said to Abel, “Let’s go out to the field.” And while they were in the field, Cain attacked his brother and killed him.
- Genesis 4:1-8
So, here I am sitting in another police department’s interrogation room. Well, at least this time I have my expensive attorney beside me, even if I did have to interrupt his golf game. He’d get over it as soon as I paid his usual hefty fee.
I glanced at the two detectives sitting at the table across from us, wishing they’d get moving already. My Rolex read that it was already 3:45 pm, and I hadn’t eaten anything since breakfast. I was hungry, tired and getting cranky.
Finally, the detective with the folder in front of him introduced himself as Detective O’Gurkus. He looked to be in his mid-thirties and wore a nice suit; a Jack Victor brand I think. I guess the Suffolk County Police Department paid well from the looks of him, unless the Men’s Warehouse was having a sale or something. He also introduced his partner, Detective Coyle; he also wore a nice suit. It looked like a Calvin Klein—who knows, maybe they shopped together.
I was trying to determine which one was Dumb and which one was Dumber. It was no secret that I didn’t like the police, or anyone that had any part of the judiciary system. Especially after what I’ve been through. But we’ll get to that later. Right now, Dumb was about to say something.
“Okay, Mr. Cafaro, we’re ready for your statement. Speak into the microphone clearly,” O’Gurkus said as Coyle turned on the tape recorder.
“Where do I start?” I asked.
“From the beginning,” Coyle said. “Start with your full name, age and current address.”
I cleared my throat and took a sip from the bitter coffee they gave me. I think it was Starbuck’s. I hated Starbuck’s. What happened? I thought cops drank Dunkin’ Donuts. Anyway, I was glad to finally get started. I figured the sooner we’d get underway, the sooner we’d get out of there.
“My name is Joseph Anthony Cafaro,” I said into the microphone. “I live at 52 Morton Street in New York City. Well, let’s see now ... I met Emily and her sister in college ... they’re fraternal twins, by the way. Back then their last name was Carlyle, Emily and Elizabeth Carlyle. I started dating Emily in college. I actually met her through Elizabeth. A friend had introduced me to Elizabeth at a party. She was attractive, but when she introduced me to her sister, well, we immediately clicked and started dating. Elizabeth was always jealous of Emily and very selfish; if she didn’t get her way, she turned mean and evil. From what Emily has told me, she had always been that way.”