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Family Reunion

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Power As A Weapon

He has all the answers that I have been searching. It is his power that I crave: power that will set me apart from the rest. I also crave his love and would do anything to please him. He and only he can save my soul, but it is Marlee that gives me hope and makes it so that I can wake up and face another day in this shit hole.

“I think I’m paranoid” was blasting on my headphones as Reverend Soul Saver’s face flickered across the screen when the door exploded open. I turned, took off my headphones, and grooved to the music as it pulsated through my chest. I never missed one of her entrances. A blackish green halo engulfed her as she stood there barking and thrashing, "What the fuck you looking at you fucking peckerwood," then her body joined the fray as she flung her purse at the screen and slammed the door shut smearing scarlet lip stick across her left cheek, while a smirk slid across her lips. When she blew like this, I knew we were in for a fight.

blind bulldozed

electroshock therapy

the donkey sat on its ass and laughed

telling the bird to shut the fuck up

dreaming of an electric Kool-Aid acid test

to subvert the supreme command

terrified totalitarianism

eviscerated hatred

twisting logic to counterbalance internal dissidence

eliminating debate and questioning of strategies or tactics

fueling long standing discussions as to the power of Christ

demanding pivotal unquestioning adherence to dictated tracts we were in for some fun.

Readying for a fight, she grabbed me by the throat, sat down on my lap, and started dry fucking me before pulling me to her breasts. I could smell her sweetness in that mouthful of perfume. It was her scent that always freed my conscience from its chains. As we were grinding and kissing I felt her breasts press against my chest, and I kissed her hard while the television crackled, “Jesus Christ can become your personal soul saver if you follow the ways of the Lord and renounce Satan.”

Marlee shoved me away from her, stood up, and screeched at the humming and pulsating screen, "Jesus fucking Christ, who the fuck's soul needs saving anyway? Not me you son-of-a-bitch."

She turned back to me and punched me in the chest before walking to the TV and ripping out the cord, rendering Reverend Soul Saver mute. The only sound we heard was Shirley Manson belting out “Special”. She kept asking me, “Do you have an opinion? Do you have a mind of your own?” I just looked at her and smiled. My opinion was whatever she wanted me to think and say.

“I’m running out of patience. You have to stand up for yourself.” I was right where I wanted to be. I wanted her to control me just as I dreamed of being a conduit for the Reverend Soul Saver. I was under her spell.

Turning away from the screen, Marlee pretended to strangle herself with the cord and stared through me with her dead eyes. As she stood there hanging from her long silky arms, she hissed, "You've been sitting on your ass all morning, watching that fucking shit haven't you?”

I involuntarily nodded my head yes, then, hung my head in feigned shame since I knew what was coming next;

“You uptight puritan piece of shit," then she laughed sardonically, ran back across the room at me, and whipped the cord off her neck and around mine as she landed with full force on my crotch. The smallish black and white television crashed to the floor unnoticed because I was so excited about was going to happen next, I waited for her next move. I stared at her, longing to take action. No one moved. The only sound was her laughter as she stared into my puppy dog eyes, twisting the cord back and forth. She put my headphones back on and cranked up “Temptation Waits”. As the music blasted in my ears, almost imperceptibly, she crawled off me and pulled me down onto the floor until I was on all fours like her. I watched as the cord slipped away from my neck and delicately slithered up the front of her dress till she dangled the metal tongs dangerously on the tip of her tongue inches from my face. I wished it was my cock that was being teased by her tongue.

As the metallic tingle lingered on her tongue, a whimsical smile crept across her lips; then, she laid back and touched her head to the floor with her legs spread open, begging me to climb on top of her. When I crawled on top, she turned off the CD player, pulled down my earphones, and whispered, "Does this turn you on, baby. Or, does he have to scream his fucking Jesus song before you can release your being for cleansing."

I was paralyzed on all fours looking down at her. Who should I trust? Where lay the truth, in a world ruled by lies. I wanted to be led. Marlee made the choice for me. She sat up, then rolled me onto my back, got up, and plugged the television cord back into its home. The reverend's voice erupted from the darkness into the floor. No longer at odds with myself, I relaxed on my back and stared at her now standing above me, first slipping out of her black panties, then stepping over my pounding chest, irrevocably entwining our souls while Reverend Soul Saver shrieked his approval.

The television erupted with my bible thumping, hell-raising, Reverend Soul Saver making love to me. Marlee stood over me pantiless, wearing a pair of scarlet, five inch stilettos with a cracked left heel strap, a midnight-black see-through bustier with one missing shoulder strap, and ebony fishnet stockings torn at each knee, and caked with dried, blackened blood all underneath a see-through midnight black rayon dress.

As I lay there, she put her left stiletto in the middle of my chest and jammed it in hard enough to feel good. She slipped out of her dress then popped one hook, then a second while Reverend Soul Saver shrieked, "You are heading for eternal damnation when you give into the evils of the flesh. Fornicators will burn in hell for fornicating and blaspheming Jesus’ good name." As she dug the heel in deeper, I was ready to burn in hell.

As these words ricocheted inside my skull, her bustier slipped silently to my chest, covering her scarlet foot, saving me from the evils of the flesh. Staring at her newly blackened foot, I wrapped myself around it, and tried to lick it while aching for her love as their voices clashed in my head at a feverish pace.

"Jesus is the one true spiritual leader of this sin filled world."

"Let me save you from the imprisonment of your misguided passions," Marlee whispered as she took her foot off me then lifted me up to her.

"It is only through his love and salvation that sinners can make it into the kingdom of heaven," countered the Reverend Soul Saver.

"My love can save you from yourself and the pain of self-hatred," Marlee sighed as we buried our heads into each other's breasts.

"Thrust sin deep into the black abyss of hell, shouting, ‘Jesus is my one and only love,’" the reverend hollowly roared.

"In each one of us lays the power to overcome self-delusion, I can show you the way," she purred, looking deep into my being.

For the first time in my life, I was in heaven, and Jesus was wearing ebony fishnet stockings with blood red stilettos. She had taken me to a new spiritual plain.

"You can never be saved enough; give yourself entirely to the Lord and he will fill you with peace and tranquility," Reverend Soul Saver cooed as Marlee and I held each other. I desperately hoped that I’d reached into another person and plucked out a tiny bit of eternity.

As we stood in each other’s arms, I ached with hopefulness followed by anguish. Why am I fearful of the depth of my desires? Why must I deny myself this simple pleasure known as companionship?

Marlee lived in the moment. Pleasure was as much her salvation as it was my tribulation.

Before I could clear my head, Reverend Soul Saver admonished me once again, "Woe onto you who are enticed by the ways of the flesh. You shall burn in Hell for giving into lustful pursuits."

As these last words rang out, I lunged toward the television and ripped the cord out of the wall and thrust Reverend Soul Saver into eternal damnation. I gave into my need to be lost in her power and my lust. She turned me into everything I feared and loathed. This act only prolonged my own agony because it was too much for me, too intimate, too revealing, too personal.

As the television faded into oblivion, Marlee lost interest and shoved me away, picked her clothes and walked into the bathroom to clean herself up. She was done with me. I didn’t try to stop her. I curled into a ball and rocked myself to sleep next to the T.V.

The next morning, I woke to the spiteful squawking of my resident crows. Marlee was gone. She left no note, no memento, only memories. As I walked through the apartment, secretly looked for traces of her, I was tormented by my obsession for her and Reverend Soul Saver.

I plugged the TV’s lifeless cord into its life line, put it back on its table, poured myself a cup of cold coffee, and tried to refill my soul with the Electronic Evangelist's daily dose of eternal salvation which only left me angry and confused. That was the last day I lived in an apartment. I grabbed my clothes and hit the road searching for retribution and salvation from my twisted obsessions.

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