Everyday Christina Wright took the same bus to and from college. She would always pick the same seat on the bus every day. All the other people who rode the bus seemed to avoid it due to its unappealing nature. The seat was stained with something unknown and had a rip near the top of the seat. This never bothered Christina due to the fact it was the only way it guaranteed that no one would sit next to her. The ride home was an hour long so she used the extra time to start her school work. Every day she would unpack her school books and place them in the empty chair. Then she proceed to place her backpack in her lap as a make shift desk. Today was different though. As Christina approached her seat, she noticed a small burgundy journal in the seat next to hers. She stopped and stood staring bewildered at the journal. She frantically began looking around to see if maybe it was someone else’s but everyone remained busy in their own life. She heard the door to the bus close and quickly sat down, remembering where she was. She looked at the journal for several minutes as if she was expecting it to move. Of course it was reasonable that other people would sit here as well during different times of the day. She had just become possessive of the spot, deeming it as hers and no one else’s, due to never seeing anyone else sit here. She finally convinced herself to open it thinking If this journal was mine, I would want someone to try to return it. She began to flip aimlessly through the journal in hope to find someone’s name or address. When she couldn’t find anything she realized that it would be sort of silly for someone to put a full name and address in a journal. At this point her curiosity began to take over and she flipped to the first entry.
I won’t forgive my parents for forcing me to go to this school. Telling me, “It will be good for you. You’ll make friends in college.” Friends? I don’t need friends. They just talk shit about you when you’re not there or when they find better friends. Not to mention the person who sits in front of me every day on this damn bus smells like he’s unaware that soap fucking exists. I want to be at home playing video games. They even took my laptop from me! They told me “This is the time to grow up, not hide behind a screen.” Can you believe that load of shit? These fuckers weren’t even there half the time to raise me and now that I’m in college they want to try and act like parents. GTFO. I couldn’t even choose my own damn major because they chose it for me. “You could be a great lawyer just like us if you apply yourself.” So I guess applying myself means forcing me to become one? Of course if I fight or argue they’ll take away all their financial support, which means no video games. Fuck this I’m already done.
“What a spoiled brat,” Christina thought to herself. “I wish I could get some ‘financial support’. I’m working full time as a waitress and still going to have to pay off loans for the rest of my life. I should just do my homework before I get anymore irritated over someone who I don’t even know.” She began to pull out her books but her eyes kept shifting to the journal. “It has to be a guy with that crappy handwriting. Looking at his issues with his parents, I bet his fully paid therapist suggested he ‘write his feelings down.’” Christina laughed amusing herself with his despair. This made her pick the journal up and continue reading just so she could amuse herself even more.
Maybe this college won’t be so bad. My fourth class has a cute girl in it. I mean really cute. I’m luckily enough to even sit right next to her. Can you believe that? She doesn’t really look my way, she just stares at the teacher the whole time. Which is fine because that means she has looks and brains so she’s perfect. I keep watching her all through class hoping she does something that will help me connect with her but she’s almost a statue. I almost think she’s partially asleep; she has deep dark circles under her eyes. Why is she so tired? Maybe she stays up playing video games? That would be amazing!
Update: THIS GIRL RIDES MY BUS! How did I miss her this morning? I mean she sits far away from where I sit, but still she’s so beautiful that I should have seen her. I’m going to sit next to her and talk to her tomorrow; it’s fate!
Well this is a disappointed turn of events. Where’s his angst? His misery? She flips though a few more entries of the journal. Really you haven’t even spoken to her by entry 10? What a stalker. She looks at the several entries of him admiring the girl from afar. Jesus, this guy is more pathetic then I thought. WAIT! She stops flipping and see the words I’VE DONE IT written in all capital letters. Finally, she thought to herself.
I’m such an idiot. I forgot to bring something to write with today and I began to panic and dig furiously through my back pack, but then she held out her pencil she smiled at me and she had an extra. I was so thrilled, but all I managed was a “thanks.” By the end of class I managed to get the courage to give her back her pencil. I also noticed her name written on one of the worksheets! SCORE! I immediately began looking her up through the student directory. I found her email and instantly wrote her. I explained how I got her email and how I admired her from afar. She wrote back instantly saying it was a little weird, but that she found it “charming.” My heart hasn’t stopped pounding. She even said she couldn’t wait to see me again in class.
How does that even happen? So now girls are all ‘Oh someone is stalking me? Yeah that’s really attractive.’ What is wrong with society today? Jesus. I would have instantly shot him down. This girl has to be as stupid as he is. Maybe they’re a match made in heaven. She continued to flip thought the entries.
I know it might seem childish but we’ve began passing notes to each other in class. She said she had a jealous ex and wasn’t ready to take our relationship outside of school and online, which I agreed to. I told her I could take care of her ex for her but she said that he would move on with time. I even told my parents about her and they were really proud of me. They even let me have my laptop back. I can’t believe how right they were about this school. Life is so great right now.
She wasn’t in class today. Apparently she has the flu. I told her I was really missing her and with her living alone that she needed someone to take care of her so she could get better faster. She agreed that I could come once it was dark (so her ex won’t see me). Update: It was a great night, as a gentleman I refused to stay the night. It seemed like it wasn’t the right time, especially due to her being sick. She seemed really appreciative of me spoiling her. I cooked her some soup and Earl Grey tea and we cuddled on the couch and watched Netflix for hours. It was as if time stood still for that perfect night. I can’t wait to see her again.
Christina began to get bored with the love story and started flipping through the entries again. Several of them were about how they sat on the bus together and how he showed her all his favorite video games. Others were about how she would give sexual favors time to time on the bus. How disgusting. She almost put the journal down when she noticed the handwriting in one of the entries was written unusually. The text didn’t fit into the lines, nor did it start at the top. The longer the entry got, the more it slanted at an awkward angle.
That fucking prick came to her house. She said he threatened to kill her if she kept seeing me and he swore to it. I told her to let me handle it, but she said nothing I could do would fix it because he had friends in high places. She said she would rather die than be without me, that he could just kill her. I told her that wasn’t an option, that I would die without her and that he would win. So we decided that we would die together on our own time. We devised a plan to kill each other at our favorite spot: the bus.
OH GOD! She frantically began flipping through the journal. Thank god there’s more entries, maybe they didn’t go through it. She instantly began reading the next entry.
Today is the day. We decided not to wait because we were worried someone would find out and try to stop us. We decided to slice each other’s throats. Her choice of course, she said it was more poetic. To anyone who finds this, know that I’m very happy with this choice.
All of sudden Christina’s head began ringing. She dropped the journal as she grabbed her head. She felt so overwhelmed. They can’t. There’s no way. There’s more entries, maybe they got scared and chickened out. As her head continued to ring she continued to read.
THEYRE ALL FUCKING LIARS. They stopped me before I could kill myself. She was too scared to do it. She asked me to do us both but some fucking asshole stopped me…
The ringing grew louder and Christina began to feel as if she was suffocating. Everything around her began to blur; the only thing she could see straight was the journal, which was now covered with blood. Her environment began to plunge as if everything was moving at warp speed while she was sitting still.
When everything stopped she found herself being able to breathe again, only to realize she was now in class looking at herself. She began to feel nauseous because right beside her was a boy frantically searching through his backpack. No, this isn’t right. I’m not dating anyone. I told myself that school comes first.
As if the very words triggered the next event, the room began to warp and spring forward. She then found herself in her apartment watching herself at a computer. An email notification went off and she watched herself open the email. It was him again. She watched herself type a response, “It’s weird for you to contact me like this. Either way it doesn’t matter because school comes first so I’m going to have to turn you down.” Exactly! I turned him down so the journal is just some made up story. So I’m not dead!
The room began to shift again and this time she saw herself sitting in her spot on the bus, but she wasn’t alone. He was sitting next to her. She watched herself looking confused and uncomfortable he then looked at her and said “Don’t worry. It’s okay.” At that moment he pulled a knife out and slit her throat as she began choking on her blood. Another passenger began to struggle with him and she watched as the knife cut the top of the seat. She felt herself suffocating again and reached at her throat only to get handfuls of blood.
Darkness was all that followed. He killed me. That psychopath killed me, she cried to herself. A light began to slowly emit in the darkness and when she walked towards it she noticed the journal was sitting open. As tears ran down her face, she picked it up and continued reading it.
It’s been a week. My parents had to be bail me out. They’re saying that our relationship didn’t exist. I tried to explain to them why it was held in secrecy. I told them about the notes, emails, even about us sitting on the bus, but they said that the evidence doesn’t support my story. It’s her fucking boyfriend. I know it. She tried to warn me that he had pull. Tomorrow I have court and my parents assured me that I have the best lawyer that money could buy, but ultimately I just want to die so I can be with her.
Christina began to feel nauseous again but as she turned around to throw up, she found herself in a court room. This is real, she thought to herself. This is happening right now.
“You may call your witness” declared the judge.
“We call the defendant’s therapist, Mr. Thomas,” answered the prosecution lawyer.
“Mr. Thomas, what is your current diagnosis of the defendant?”
“The defendant’s official diagnosis is Antisocial Personality disorder.”
“Does your client still fit that diagnosis now?”
“Yes he does, but I also believed it has increased into Psychosis, where it has impaired his reality.”
“Could you explain a little further?”
“I believe that my patient truly does believe he was in a relationship with the deceased. I believe that he couldn’t handle being rejected so his sub conscious created an alternate reality to where he was actually dating Miss Wright.”
“You’re lying!” the boy yelled at his therapist.
“Counsel, control your client!” demanded the judge.
Christina watched as the lawyer tried to calm him down but he continued to raise his voice and pull away from his lawyer. “You’re lying! You want them to think I’m crazy so I don’t go to jail, but I don’t want you to. I want to die; I want to be with her,” he began to yell again at the therapist.
“Mr. Collins, one more outburst and I will hold you in contempt!” demanded the judge.
“Good! Take me away. Give me the death sentence. Just don’t make our love look like a made up story!” he screamed at the judge.
“Take him away!” the judge announced.
She watched him, Zachariah Collins, in his expensive suit and nicely combed hair being taken out of the court room. She felt nothing.
Once again the room began to shift and she found herself on the bus again.
She walked over to her seat and began pulling her books out and placed them in the seat then fixed her backpack into a make shift desk.