Nightmares are dreams filled with reality. Drenched with the realist thoughts your mind can conjure through pain, anguish and greed, it provides you insight with a vision of horror. Well that’s what my psychologistreferred to it as. To me, nightmares are visions of long lost memories displayed in a scene of crazy acts your mind develops in thecognitive functioning side of your subconscious.
Never once do you consider it to ever by a relay of compressed intense real memories...
“How have you been sleeping lately?” Asks my therapist.
"Its, been foggy lately, I just... I just can’t seem to see, anything but horror in my mind everytime I close my eyes to sleep.” I stutters.
This is now the third time I have seen my therapist as of late and I recently needed to go as every night I’d have neighbors bash my door asking if I was alright.
To tell you the truth I don’t know when or how it started but what started this cycle seemed to end in my subconscious screwing with me. I have barley gotten any sleep and my muscles are always so tired. When I try I only see horrific sights that I can’t bare to witness any longer, so I stay awake.
Burrowing my head in books or watching silly movies to pass the day through after work. After my bosses found out ofmy lack of sleep, they noticed a dip in my attendance and performance, so they gave me a leave of absence until I felt better to come back to work. Great...
More time I have to spend in the confides of these plastered walls denying myself the simple human function of sleep.
“It’s... been pretty hard doc, I really just want to understand why this is happening to me.” I urge to the doctor.
“Well George, honestly from a therapeutic type of standpoint, the best thing I can say to do is get sleep, sleep as much as possible. They might be horrible to bare witness to, but if you can get past the scene of horror, maybe you can see what your mind is trying to tell you.
I looked at her with a seemingly horrified gaze, knowing, that I will need to face my demons, and be a man.
So that very night I lit candles around my bedroom and put in the quietly soothing sounds of the ocean to help relax my mindin hope, that it would help me cope with what I′m about to witness.
This was it, I was about to shut my eyes, and go to sleep... Waiting impatiently I went and got a glass of milk and put it at my bedside table.As I laid there, pondering on multiple issues in my life, still wondering why I can’t seem to sleep.Ireach for the milk... everything froze to black. My body unable to move and the only thing I was capable of doing, was breathing, until I could flutter my eyes to each side of my head, on the right I noticed a doctors table, covered in utensils used for surgery, covered in... blood? Where am I? I thought In my mind, what is this? What’s going on?
As the thoughts caressed my fearful intuitive brain, The footsteps of big steal cap boots obliterating my ears with aseemingly earthquake sound approaches me. Louder and louder it gets, until it stops and a black shadow of some sort of being? No a man, with... with a gas mask on,lent down to my face. Inside I was screaming, but on the outside I could not move an inch, the man whispered to me, “This won’t hurt a bit...”