suriaja

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Misses the Mark

I am a big fan of religiously inspired fiction, but this is too explicit in its attempt. Why not try developing an actual story and then sprinkling in a bit of theology? Most readers respond to great big stories with small lessons. In this case it feels too much like you are being talked at, which prevents the reader from becoming invested in the story.

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Keep Going!

I love your first line! I wrote only one star because its so short and I can't figure out plot. Great writing, you need to continue though.

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