JP M

Keep on writing.

Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar & Punctuation

Detailed, honest and engaging

I really enjoy how detailed and honest the story is. The characters are engaging too. There are times when the details are too mundane but then an interesting detail that moves the story forward comes along to keep me engaged. My favorite aspect is the way the narrator commentates and describes their thoughts on the world and their feelings. There were a few typos. Also there were times when the verb tense was inconsistent. Sometimes it would be in present and then it would switch to past tense.

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Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar & Punctuation

Enthralled

I absolutely love this story so far. I’m getting invested in these characters and this cyber punk world. The plot weaving is very clever and this writer knows what they are doing. The only issues are that there could be more use of detail in descriptions and a polishing of grammar and punctuation as there are grammatical errors scattered throughout.

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Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar & Punctuation

Expertly written

I love how detailed this story is as it flows really well. The characters are strongly written with distinct voices. This writer knows what they are doing!

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Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar & Punctuation

Honest and enjoyable read

Hey I loved how honest you were. I think that honesty makes for the best writing and stories. I loved the progression that led up to the diagnosis as I wasn't expecting it. For criticisms, I personally wanted to see more detail on the feelings involved. I think that for a story that is so reflective, there should be more to when describing a feeling so the reader knows how that feeling truly felt. These are life changing moments and I wanted to see metaphors and similes regarding how the embarrassment, or shock actually felt using word magic. Keep up the good work!

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