Hi! My name is Beryl Queen! I'm kinda new to this whole writing thing, so feedback is greatly appreciated!! Love and Peace!; Beryl

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Great Start!

This is a great start for a story of this almost overworked caliber. It almost reminds me of The Infernal Devices by Cassandra Clare and an amine I watched. You're writing style is very visual and promising, but my only concern would be to hold back on some of the less important detail, or the more important, larger deatils will be lost in the scatter. However, that's my opinion, you don't need to take it. So far, I really like it.

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