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A good start

A good start to this. The idea's really good and looks like it be an interesting story.

There's just a few grammatical and spelling errors, as well as some words repeated or not italicised.

Another revision or two of this piece will help it become better.

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Inkitt is the world’s first reader-powered book publisher, offering an online community for talented authors and book lovers. Write captivating stories, read enchanting novels, and we’ll publish the books you love the most based on crowd wisdom.