HAJR

Hi! Hello! Look! I can internet!

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Got the right ideas just needs so shaping up

Wow. Ok. So I can definitely see where you are trying to go with this and I really like it. The plot, from what I can tell so far is really cool. However, I do think things are being rushed a bit (l do the same so don’t worry) and it’s ok to slow down. Also, somethings can be confusing so don’t be scared to go into detail on things.I don’t see a variety of different sentence structures, but English is your first language so you’re doing pretty well. Maybe try combining some sentences. It’s actually super easy to do and it makes it more entertaining to read. All in all, I can really see potential in your writing and I really look forward to see things progress!

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