Tommy2598

Cedar Hill

I'd describe myself as an old soul. I love the setting of historical time periods and the timeless genres of romance and mystery. I hope to keep classic writing alive in these modern times :)

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Reminds me of Rick Riordan's YA novels

I love the way you've written this, it reminds me of the Percy Jackson series in the best way, with the witty, sarcastic banter of the characters, the crafting of an interesting and complex mythological lore, and the characters having powers inherited from godly parents. But make no mistake, it's unique and original in its own right. Your descriptive writing is amazing and really made me feel like I could picture the scenes happening. I'm fascinated. by the relationship between Algea and Seth, and I can't help but wonder how Seth will handle the mythological world. I've read every chapter sl far and I'm really lookimg forward to seeing where you go with it. Keep up the great work!

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Philosophical Thriller

Your writing style is one of the calmest I have ever read. It comes across as so smooth and relaxing, while still delivering emotional impact whenever needed. I love how the narration and dialogue feels like something from a old school, or even Victorian novel, even though it's set in modern times (or relatively modern at least. At one point you mention that two years ago it was 2000, and at another you mention the high price of cell phones, so I am assuming it is happening in about 2002-ish, though I could be completely wrong about that). The concept of the family having supernatural / time travel abilities also gives this story a sci-fi bend, which I think is really cool, and you did well to build up the family lore through the journals. And through all this, the protagonist is still worrying about normal teenage things like going to a dance with a boy she likes. It just shows how she is trying to live in two drastically different worlds at once, and that's where the tension comes from because you just know at some point it's all going to collide. It's really well written and I can't wait to find out what happens next.

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Short yet intriguing

I'm not sure if this is a one-shot or an ongoing story, but honestly it could work either way. The cliffhanger at the end was very dramatic and it makes you wonder whether Richard has truly gone mad. Or perhaps he is actually devious and calculating by luring his friends out into the woods and showing them this bloody box before he...what? Cackles maniacally? Starts hunting them down right them and there? Laughs it off as a joke? That's what's so interesting about this, I could see it going so many different ways. The only thing I would say is that you could try to clean up some of the awkward phrasing that occurs at times and that would make it even better. Overall though, it is a very good short story that gave me chills, well done!

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Good slice-of-life novel

Writing slice-of-life style romance is very tricky to pull off because a lot of the tension is inevitably going to be internal, so the characters and plot must be compelling in order to keep the reader's interest. In this respect, you've done very well. I empathised with the emotions of your protagonist and I truly got the sense that could be a description of a real life high school relationship, drama and all. The implication that Sasha is not so innocent in what occurred between her and Aiden also makes me understand his point of view, and it makes me want to know more about how she angered him. So overall I would say you have done a great job so far of building suspense and drama, and I'm curious to see how it ends.

The only thing I would say is that there were some grammatical issues and awkwardly worded sentences, but those can be cleaned up by editing your chapters, and it doesn't take away from the story. Just try to do a little more proofreading in the future. You are a very good writer and I love your use of metaphors to describe feelings, it just needs a little bit of polishing. Other than that though, it's a an interesting and engaging story so far. I look forward to seeing where it goes. Well done!

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Great summer read

This is a story that in some ways defies genres. It starts as a classic slice-of-life contemporary fiction, moves on to a beach fic that recalls the teen beach movies of the 90s, then a few chapters in, it suddenly takes a suspenseful turn that flips the plot on its head and gives it a dark undertone that you probably wouldn't have expected after reading the first chapter. The contrast between this shadowy, foreboding presence and the breezy, irreverent tone of the protagonist ks what makes this story so intriguing. You can really feel her becoming overwhelmed by a trip that was supposed to be a typical teen ode to the beach, boys, and freedom as it quickly becomes more tham she bargained for. The cast of characters is just as lively and entertaining as the narrator and they'll always keep you on your toes. Honestly I could see this working as a mystery, a comedy, a romance, even a thriller. Your writing style is perfect for this story, it's funny at times and suspenseful at others. I can imagine these being the exact thoughts of a teen in this situation. I'm looking forward to seeing how this plays out over the next few chapters, and I would definitely recommend it to others.

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Top class mystery-romance fiction

If you like romance and mystery, and the combination of the two, or even if you are just looking for a compelling plot and cast of characters, I would absolutely recommend this story. Each chapter will leave you anxious to read the next and find out what happens. The writing style is enthralling and I look forward to reading more.

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