Brilliant (read up to Chapter 32)
This author excels at description however, it becomes too overbearing when there is dialogue. I believe that the dialogue was created well, and this author seems experienced to some level however for some people by having description after dialogue for every chunk of speech. It makes it harder for the chat to flow, I would suggest what some publish author’s do, which is leaving one piece of dialogue without description (for the earlier chapters, it’s just a bit too dense). Just to add a bit more complexity to the book. The description is astounding. Also, there is a description that’s always above the text or dialogue for example, in with Brad, it seems like you’re describing brad, but it’s not connected to the text.
Read the story now
Even though, this book is described very well, I would suggest looking at your earlier chapters as they stand out for the reader. I would suggest the main character explaining what’s happening, so it allows the writer a bit of context. This is because, sometimes readers come offline and therefore when they come back to read, they might not remember everything that happened in the last chapter.
This book is absolutely amazing on the writing style and punctuation level but there are times where the characters seem underdeveloped in text or dialogue. I want to know Brad’s personality (as well as other characters) from the start.
I know it’s a fantasy, but I feel that at sometimes there isn’t a description like there would be in fantasy for example, ‘green meadows’ I know it’s cliché but more description on the area, it’s assumed, and I know it’s hard to edit and read over but that’s what caught my eye.
Ultimately what needs to be altered, is the description, we’ve got to know where Caelynn is sometimes I am constantly guessing the area and it doesn’t need a big paragraph, there can be scenes where you indicate for example, ‘she walks down the stony path’ or ‘she tried to get on the truck, but she slipped. Brad helped her up by using his hand’. These changes could help lift this book because clearly, you took your time.
But honestly, this book is great and throughout the chapters, you can see the author’s hard work.