A retelling that has not been done before
This was a great story with an interesting take on Alice in Wonderland that I very much doubt has been done already. I feel like the beginning was very slow, and the story would draw readers in faster if it started with her entering Hatterson's shop. Then her being sick and running off can be told in flashback.
Read the story now
It also seems like Alicin's family and friends are all awful or indifferent people from the start, which doesn't quite serve to further the story. What I would recommend doing is having her parents not be so indifferent, and instead actually being bad people that she wants to get away from.
It would also help if maybe her fiancee seemed like a good person at first but turned out to be a terrible one. Otherwise, we're left wondering how she got engaged to such a pompous jerk if they have nothing nice to say to each other.
Her friend Charlotte is also a character that something more could be done with, so maybe showing her to be a good friend will raise the stakes for when Alicin leaves for Wonderland, because she should have at least one thing that she regrets leaving, so that it's not such an obvious decision.
Wow, this is the longest review I have ever left on this site. I enjoyed this excerpt, and it left me wanting to know what happens next.