VivianKross

Bangor

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Hot Hot Hot

A hot dragon king, magic, and loyal dog/lizard/cat like companion, what more could you ask for! And what I mean by a hot dragon king I mean more than him being a fire dragon, lol. Dolly spins out another terrific fantasy tale. I can't wait to see what happens next! Keep up the good work, Dolly!

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Love it!

I am in love with your story! I can't wait until you write more! Please hurry.

As for what I think is amazing about your story is the historical aspect, you actually did your research, ​which some authors don't. The characters also have depth to them and personalities in where they actually feel like real people.

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Good Start!

What you have here is a very good idea. Your grammar and structuring is very good and far exceed many adults I have seen. You are a diamond in the rough. I have two things I want to point out to you.

One is the blurb is very congested, try to free it up a bit and leave more to the reader's imagination so in your case less is more. Another bit of advice here is to focus on the main theme whether you decide if it's her saving the country or something else.

The other bit of advice I have for you is making it more realistic. What I mean is typically parents won't let their children leave to save the country unless it's like a norm for people in this country to let their young children go on potentially risky adventures. If that is the case you need to give us more background information on this world. If not work on trying to rework your story where the main lead somehow gets caught up in the disappearance of royalty.

But other than that I think you have a lot of potential​.

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Refreshing Horror Plot

I really love a good horror plot which isn't generic and I think you nailed it with your first chapter. I was scrolling thru the horror group and saw the description of this book so I decided to check it out. I was not disappointed.

My only advice for you is the spacing of the sentences and paragraphs. It makes it a little difficult to read.

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Interseting

The first two paragraphs are really interesting and sucks the reader in. I did see someone else comment as such and I agree with them. I have never read a biker romance before or actually seen one in stores/online before or perhaps I was never paying attention since this particular read isn't something I would normally read or look for though you do an excellent job writing it. People who like this particular genre would like your book.

My only advice for you to make the blurb a little less overwhelming. I feel like it has too​ much information and is too congested and could pose as a real turn off for a reader.

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