FIVER

Kitsuné & Spirits

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Bewitching

I don't usually read short stories or even come across them.
I feel there should have been more to it. I was a little off-settled when I reached the end. it's a good thing, it means loads of room for exploration. Werther this is the intent of the reader or not. I don't know.
I loved the slow feeling of enchantment taking place although I would have loved more description of the surroundings and the characters themselves. But I'm an aficionado of dark fantasy genre and description is bible there. I loved the relationship between the two protagonists and the magic around them. The writer has talent to transport people and I believe could transport more. I have left comments about minor edits, nothing too hard to change. For those who wish to swirl in a spell, this short story is a as sweet as the breeze.

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Damn! It was good!!

The author’s mind is terribly rich, it fascinates me and I feel grateful to be able to read a slice of his/her world. This is a love story that crosses countries and history, blended with magic we learn more about history. Although filled with many references most of us would not know, it doesn’t always block the reader. GURZIL is the most terrifying dragon of all time close to Smaug, and that is because the Dragon has brains. The story seems to have an intricate plot but then smoothes itself along the reading. The plot itself is great.
Overall….Amazing read!

Onto BADON HILL now!

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Strong vibrations

This story has lots of potential! The characters are intriguing and introduced in a way, it doesn’t overwhelm the reader. I love the magic and the powers each of them hold. Perhaps specifying the limits of their powers would help the reader to immerse deeper in the story. I suggest to pay attention to the words used :). Specific words enrich the beautiful word you are building. Nicely written. Can’t wait to read its best version! Well done so far!

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I have devoured this story!!!

This is one of the best plot/ genre bending / style I have read in a long time. I felt transported in another world and became addicted to the tone and word play, sentence building in this story. I had to adjust to the female protagonist and then once that done, I just got sucked in. And it was the end of me. The characters are well built. One is particularly divine!!! It’s an adventure, with fear much bravery and questions self acceptation. This book is not finished and that’s the only shade of my day! Where is the rest, I need my fix! This one stays on my shelf and will stay there long after I finish this book (I hope) because it will most certainly deserve a second read! Thanks for this. It’s been binged.

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Agatha Christie 2.0

This is a diamond in the rough, noteworthy, in progress. For all the aficionados of mystery crime, this one is a sweet one which will keep you on edge. It sticks to the classical genre (Poirot) however, there are supernatural elements. The world is full of unexplained events and the author was right to add these to this short mystery novel. I lost myself in the manor, I could feel the old dust and the dimness escaping thick curtains. Full of classical references, it's a little easter hunt which I enjoyed participating in. For the writer, I would stress on the grammar and punctuation. There is a signature style which I encourage to polish because it's a flowing one. Also, for the dialogue parts, I would avoid the "play" style and stick to the " said Arthur instead of Arthur - "do you see what I mean". I understand english is not the author's first language yet, the words used are sophisticated enough for any adult to enjoy the reading process. Well done!

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A story fully Spirited

I’m driven by these stories which delve into notions of energy and existence. I'm currently writing a fantasy book series (worshippers of Pan) . And although our plots are totally different, Both share similar characteristics around Qi and the Pan element here cannot be ignored. I loved it so far. Good work.

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Uplifting

I've only read two chapters but so far, I felt really good.
I'm generally a hard core fantasy /horror/ sf.
But the flow just carries you onto the next line like sweet water.

So far, a great read. Keep it going.

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A little gem in the rough

I loved reading your story, it's rhythmed, kept me out of breath! Which is good - I wasn't falling asleep. I felt the adrenaline. I would work on the tense and style as well as punctuation. At one point, the girl gets into the shower, and it all becomes very descriptive. I'm expecting some food for later, but she just left. Getting into the detail of things, I always ask myself if it will serve the reader. Despite these editing details, the plot was super! Keep it up! I enjoyed it very much, and I hope to read more from you! Houses need to read you. A little gem in the rough!

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Great beginning ⚔️

Great beginning! I want to read more. Plot is great. What pain” awaits them?! Mentioned in comments the plot could be honed with more voice given to Anakin. Also, being a sci-fi/ fantasy addict, like real estate 🙈- setting - setting - setting / location location location. I want to be in this training facility smell it, here the echoes of the laser blades electric and alive. I LOVE IT

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⚡️A villain to Love⚡️

I love this plot the Villain! Humans are a farce for him!!! I’m still reading it, but I had to share my thoughts because until now it’s been a breath of fresh air. I can’t imagine what the story would be if the white noise is removed (typo, punctuation and grammar) great work! I love love this story!⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️A light and hilarious read! Can’t wait to read the edited version🤍🤍🤍

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Great Debut!

O my, I can’t wait for more! This sounds so promising, please post!

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I encourage you to write more

A beautiful pinch to the heart. a wake up call for the brain and a soulful breath for our humanity

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An enthralling third voice

First thing that grabbed my attention, was the third voice style. It’s full of eloquence and references. It’s not passive a bit! For a third voice! I love it! The descriptions are so good. It’s scary and sexy. And that’s what the book is for me. Temptation. Secondly, if I have to love villains, it will be Donn’s. Well done and well played. Please continue to sing in your lines, it’s magical- this what I call pure book adn

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Sharp and Soul-Sucking! отличная работа

Ok! Big player. Your writing is an ode to…writing. Clearly everything was thought of. I only heard her moans and the wind against the windows. It’s harrowing how it’s silent. I love how you played with this. Repeating a same word in two different contexts. One to shut herself and another to illustrate the noise and calm or emptiness around her. Brilliant. I get she was kept in a castle but roughly cared for. It’s rough and it’s tough and that’s how it’s meant. Birth is beautiful and so is a woman’s body. But it gets ugly or trespass beauty when it comes to birth. The body swells. You decided to describe this moment and I bow to you. This is natural. It also emphasized the harshness of her life, her setting and how she may overall feel. The Russian words make it all the more realistic and iron brand the book with its cultural adn. Hence, cultural attitude, social behavior in medieval times (dystopian or not, the worlds are hard!) readers of dark fantasy know it! You are swift with words making your sentence a read easy but wild. Well done! Another great book in the becoming. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🤎🤎🤎🤎🤎🤎 Hail Queen Bloomfield

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Submitting to El Rivers

The Author will get you hooked from the first chapter. A real teaser she will slow burn you but not too much - enough,... to never grow tired of the flame.
The characters well-built, she thought about everything. From the internal feelings that scream to the great f-ing ball of gas vampires hate so much!
Delve into a credible world yet full of twisted mysteries, dark desires, and unwanted (but wanted) goosebumps!
Well done! Keep feeding the beast, it's hungry for more!

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A window to my world

I’m completely biased but wanted to share my views on this book. It’s not perfect, it won’t meet certain needs, neither reach others’ expectations but it’s a beautiful piece of my universe. It’s a mess of japanese culture, theology, greek mythology, a wishful desire for fantasy romance and a journey to self-discovery. This is my first story and, I will be overprotective as a mother is of a baby. I am not a dark person enough to weight down the universe to gloom and doom and cannot help myself to spark it up with rythmes. I won’t apologize. Neither for the words I use, they are meant to be whatever the excuse. (Here I go) this book is beyond all a window to my uncharted imagination. Nothing more nothing less.

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Secrets

The author has a pen that grips the reader. We want to know more! We want the secrets. The plot is one we’re eager to unravel. Well-built, the dialogues energize the story in a crescendo pace, to those secrets we want to find out. To the curious, to the secret keepers and to the story lovers. Well done Author
Jax…!

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I lament for more!

I would love to see more of this. There is definitely something divine about the story. It’s a pocket full of wonders in the making and I can only hope it will turn into a diamond nice and bright. I lament for more.

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O Angel!

You write divinely! The way you describe your characters invites us to want more. You allow us to feel them. They have personality. Your story is infused with so much personality in fact, we are sucked in. Your chapters are short and well rounded, we can never get bored we can never get enough. I breath your pages. Must read. And who doesn't love chocolate and sweets! They truly are the apple of Sin!

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I howl for more!

The writer's swift style and humor disgorge in all the lines of this beautiful story. This is my first Werewolf story, and the first time is always important! This one will be carved in my mind. Fall in love with the characters, both of them rich in personality, mystery and bewitching appeal. It's young, hooking and a true pleasure to read. I can't wait to read the end of the story and can only hope this is part of a series. As much as I want to know the end, I don't want it to stop. Phil hang in there!

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Fifty shades of black!

ok, so I'm being honest. I don't read bdsm and stopped at chapter 6. I encourage the writer and appreciate her research in the matter. The plot seems intriguing. We can definitely feel the domination and submission of both. There is a little feel which clearly helps put some 3D to the characters. I will come back once finished if I dare too ;) I stick to the writing style, plot and efforts put into this story. Aware and informed before hand of the raw manuscript posted here. I accept reviewing as such. The author has a lot of potential and i can only encourage to polish over and over her style which I am sure will reveal a light of splendor.
Intriguing yes, a turn pager of course!

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Emotional Rollercoaster

The author has been teasing us since page 1! Naughty writer.
The plot could have easily been a cliché one and it's not! While it leaves us with a bitter end, still the love is here, everywhere, passion is felt. We get attached to the characters like a chain to a key. Beautiful work. I'm not used to read stories that short, I feel it could have gone further. There is a soulmate theme hovering until the end and it broke my heart. Naughty writer again! Thank you for taking me away into your world of feelings.

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The Dream Ride Comes True!

What an AMAZING plot! I will not be ashamed to admit that as a student, I once dreamt okay-many times- of some sexy prince to pick me up at a bus stop on some horrid rainy day, The author has style and great imagination. We've been told this is not her first language and that's ok. noted. plot. superb. Style in the making; it's going to turn out into something captivating, keep on carving your quill, till it becomes nice and sharp! I can only encourage this with a 5! Of course I would be lying to provide a 5 for grammar- yet - it was tempting because it did not catch my eye, I was too absorbed by the story unfolding.
An author in the becoming. Keep it up it's great.

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Purring in delight

Your hook is amazing. I loved it.
The story starts with a plot full of hope. Taking place in one the most beautiful places in Italy, the story transports us with smell and taste. Cats are never far and we all know cats are magical ;) they add this little spark with their shenanigans. Romance is everywhere filling the air. It's a nice pace. I would love more description and inner thoughts to really help me situate the characters though. Well done! Mewo.

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Wonderlust

What a beautiful story between passionate souls. They're young, dangerous and powerful. The character building is well thought as well as the setting, though a crazy one! And that's the beautiful universe the author is sharing with us. There are very detailed parts about emotional conflicts which adds some 3d to the characters. The third voice has style. Else wise comments have been mentioned in chapters. Aside of minor editing stuff, it"s a great story! Well done!

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I JUST TIME TRAVELED!

The author has such knowledge about history, that not only do we dive into the story because of a smooth yet energizing flow, we’re feeling the accuracy of it. I feel I’m learning something. There are many in between lines the author addresses without never mentioning them. Very smart! I also admire the research and efforts put into this riveting story. I recommend for all the adventurers, out there! No! In fact I recommend to absolutely every body/ this book touches a full spectrum. I wish all of you get lost into it! Because it’s a quality bowl of fresh air!

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Dystopian!

This is a work in progress at an early stage. Review May change for the best! The potential of it grows at each following chapter.
The author throws the reader into a puzzling world. Not only do we wish to know what has happened to this apparently atypical person, we also want to know more about the world this story takes place. There are notions of poverty, education and human ties. Children are innocence. I can’t wait to read the next chapters! Little suggestion, to look out for the dialogue (a child with a rough life - I cannot picture it saying I cannot be educated) and its words/ adapt the style and tone to each character to bring them to life. There is opportunity to air your text. The “ jeep approached on the road”. No need for road. Elsewhere as well. Otherwise you succeed in immersing the reader in your story from the start! Where is the rest! It’s needed.

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It is good to be with a KING

The author’s presence hovers all around the story, never crushing it nor taking the limelight. It is a strength, the descriptions of how the protagonist feels / it makes it real. Because these are heartfelt descriptions. It is also a topic for discussion, behind the lines are dark themes about family drama, bullying, suicide and fraternity. There is some editing for sure. It is a little gem as I like to call stories which definitely have so much potential, said potential which is easily reached to shiny diamond when grammar and wordings are polished. Diamond in the rough! I love it - well done!

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Hexed

A hellish dream so good!
I purr for more…

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A teasing teaser

Her pen (the author ;) glides along the story without any reader to notice. It is smooth. I don’t know why but I felt closure. The plot is warm like a sunny day, a little bit mischievous, hiding a little sadness.
That said… where is my next chapter?!n

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- A story full of charms -

An enchanting work in progress. Reading the below comments, I can see the writer is taking her writing very seriously, most of the recommendations are being taken into consideration as I write those lines. I am a true fantasy zealot, and this story reminds me of A Wizard of Earthsea by Ursula LeGuin. The writer has a style and its a delight to read. There are minor tweaks but as I said above, they’re being tackled. This is just the beginning and I can’t wait for what is to come. A Magic Gem!

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Family is everything!

I was being manipulated through the entire story. Cielo is a double edged sword. I have a feeling the woman, is not to be underestimated. She's got brains behind her innocent face. I was scared of Cielo but perhaps I should keep an eye on Leia.
Gripping!

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I'm hungry, feed me more

This story is delicious. I was trying to figure out what it reminded me of. And I remembered. The tone and style made me think of the great classic, Alexandre de St Exupery's "The little prince."But there's more to it. It has character. I feel the author is an adventurer with a taste for good food and style. Perhaps am I wrong here. There is humor, wit, and audacity behind the lines. The author dared a plot where people live in the Sun and the Moon. I felt transported into Mallow's world. And it brought me back to my teenage years. What was I thinking then....of course, I wasn't a princess, but it's rejuvenating.

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I want more!

There is something deep creeping in her dreams, and now it may very well creep into mine too! Hellish Farrow!
The author has style! We get to live some EDM magic across the character, and I love this! This story is worth a good publishing. The plot is slow-built and profound, like the dreams of its character, and unfolds in a universe of pain and internal conflict. It speaks to me. I believe it speaks to all of us. The character has spirit. Yet, we feel this fragile humanity in her between every line as the plot unfolds. I can't wait for the following chapters. Well done!

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Damned!

The author writes with a fresh style, throwing you in a rush of events!
It is very detailed and that is where the potential is, descriptive writing is very important in horror and I believe the writer is in the right direction.
This is fresh from the print, very raw in its own way, undoubtedly a story in progress.
I love the theme as well as plot. I would love to see the style emerge from the polishing.
I recommend to punctuate your sentences, I was short of breath many times. I will for sure adjust my review for the greater once these minor editing details have been corrected.
Well done, it's a promising start.

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