Deep POV is a contemporary version of third-person subjective taken to a more intimate level. While eliminating unnecessary word phrases such as s/he thought, deep POV provides an up-close and cozy view into a character’s psyche. However, there are a few rules. This post aims to explore the guidelines for deep POV’s effective use.
But first, what does Deep POV look like?
Deep POV varies from its parent origin, third-person subjective in a few subtle ways. Imagine that you had the best of first-person POV and the overview of third-person POV. First person POV provides an intimate view into the thoughts, feelings, and wonderings of your character while third-person POV gives the reader a more bird’s eye view of the narrative. With deep POV, you get both.
For Example:
Third-person POV:
Marc frowned and stared at the empty counter.
What did I do to irritate the barista? he wondered and waited for his coffee.
The woman chatted to her employee, then shot Marc another dirty look. Marc felt his skin boil.
I hate this place, Marc thought and stormed towards the exit.Third-person deep POV:
Frowning, Marc stared at the empty counter. The barista had it in for him.
The snarky wretch chatted to her employee, then shot Marc another dirty look.
I hate this place.
Marc’s skin boiled as he stormed towards the exit.
And now some Deep POV rules.
Third-person deep POV does not need thought, feeling, vision, and/or hope indicators. Just like the first-person narrator eliminates the need to identify their own thoughts and feelings, so does deep POV. A reader will get the vibe that the feelings, visions, and thoughts, etc belong to the character without unnecessary clues from the writer. In short, no more of these: s/he thought, s/he felt, s/he wondered …
Let’s look at the previous example again. I have marked the unnecessary words in red:
Third-person POV:
Marc frowned and stared at the empty counter.
What did I do to irritate the barista? he wondered and waited for his coffee.
The woman chatted to her employee, then shot Marc another dirty look. Marc felt his skin boil.
I hate this place, Marc thought and stormed towards the exit.
Now, the re-write:
Third-person deep POV:
Frowning, Marc stared at the empty counter. The barista had it in for him.
The snarky wretch chatted to her employee, then shot Marc another dirty look.
I hate this place.
Marc’s skin boiled as he stormed towards the exit.
As you can see in the re-write, the text is more succinct with a better flow. We are closer to Marc’s feelings without the constant clunky reminders that come with using words like s/he thought. To clarify and to provide another sample for comparison, here’s the above passage again, but …
This time in first-person POV
I frowned and stared at the empty counter. The barista definitely had it in for me.
The snarky wretch chatted up her employee, then shot me another dirty look.
I hate this place.
My skin boiled as I stormed to the exit.
But what about thoughts in italics?
You only need to put thoughts in italics when you are you using the ‘I’ perspective. Anytime the character uses the words I or me you need to use italics. Otherwise, it’s not necessary and will detract from the flow of the narrative.
Have fun with voice.
Another great point of using deep POV is the ability to inject the character’s voice and flavor into the narrative. You can eliminate a staleness that sometimes comes with third-person by adding a bit of flair to the text. This happens because deep POV allows readers to experience the story from inside out rather than the outside in. Confusing, I know, but stay with me.
Third-person subjective is only a bird’s-eye view and can be cold. It’s a very superficial type of narrative. Deep POV lets you get into the head of the character, and this is where we writers get to show off the style of that character through tone and personalization of their inner monologue. As the character experiences certain settings and situations, this is a perfect opportunity to show (not tell!) how that particular person would uniquely react to said setting or situation.
Sidebar: This would be a good time to point out that head-hopping is still a no-no. Stick with one character’s POV per scene/chapter, please.
And lastly, for a more in-depth look at developing a unique voice, click here.
