Frenemies: they’re one of the most entertaining and emotionally complex character dynamics you can write. Often seen in friends-to-lovers or enemies-to-lovers tropes, these love-hate relationships walk a fine line between affection and animosity. Done well, frenemies add tension, subtext, and undeniable chemistry to any story.
But writing a frenemy character readers can connect with—rather than get confused by—requires finesse. You need to give them depth, motive, and a subplot strong enough to stand on its own. When layered properly, frenemies can enhance romantic drama, provide comic relief, or even lead to unforgettable plot twists.
In this article, we’ll break down four compelling types of frenemies you can use in your romance novel, along with expert writing tips for each dynamic.
What Is a Frenemy in Romance Books?
A frenemy is a character who appears antagonistic on the surface but shares a deeper bond—sometimes romantic, sometimes emotional—with the protagonist. They often bring a mix of tension, unresolved feelings, sarcasm, and chemistry that keeps readers hooked.
Why are readers obsessed with frenemies?
-
The emotional complexity adds realism
-
They offer conflict without needing a villain
-
The tension creates anticipation, especially in slow-burn romances
-
They can evolve over the course of the story, showing real character development
Now let’s explore the most popular frenemy types you can use in your story.
1. The Ex-BFF Frenemy
Key Features:
-
Former best friends turned rivals
-
Emotional history and unresolved conflict
-
Awkward, loaded conversations filled with subtext
This frenemy type is rich with emotional potential. Maybe your characters had a falling out, and one of them doesn’t even know why. Or maybe they both pretend they’ve moved on, even though the past still lingers.
Writing Tips:
-
Use flashbacks or subtle hints to show their former closeness
-
Keep their interactions short and tension-filled
-
Add layers of arrogance, guilt, or denial to each character
-
Make sure both characters remain relatable despite their flaws
This dynamic works well in coming-of-age stories, second-chance romance, or college drama arcs where emotions run deep.
2. The Mutually Sarcastic Frenemy
Key Features:
-
Constant banter and trash talk
-
Petty insults that mask affection
-
Loyal to each other in their own weird way
These frenemies are basically best friends who refuse to say it out loud. Their relationship thrives on playful cruelty and backhanded compliments. Think of it as a language of its own—if they’re not roasting each other, something’s wrong.
Writing Tips:
-
Keep dialogue witty, fast-paced, and a little mean
-
Add emotional moments when sarcasm falters—just enough to show vulnerability
-
Bonus points for flirtatious tension beneath the surface
This frenemy type is perfect for romantic comedy, office romance, or school-based stories where humor and slow-burn romance are key elements.
3. The Hot-For-You Frenemy
Key Features:
-
Underlying romantic tension
-
Mutual denial of attraction
-
Forced proximity sparks major chemistry
This is the kind of frenemy who acts annoyed, but deep down, they’re one glance away from a passionate kiss. They might roll their eyes, but they still notice every detail about the other person.
Writing Tips:
-
Use “accidental” moments of physical closeness to raise the stakes
-
Show their inner monologues conflicting with their actions
-
Consider locking them in a room together (literally or metaphorically) to make the tension explode
This works especially well in enemies-to-lovers, forced proximity, and fake dating tropes.
4. The Do-Gooder Frenemy
Key Features:
-
One character is annoyingly virtuous
-
The other character is skeptical or judgmental—until they uncover the truth
-
Unexpected emotional depth
This character might seem arrogant, competitive, or just plain irritating. But surprise! They also volunteer at animal shelters or send anonymous donations to their rival’s GoFundMe page. These layered personalities make for excellent reveals and emotional growth.
Writing Tips:
-
Drop hints early about the character’s secret kindness
-
Let the protagonist discover this vulnerability during a moment of conflict
-
Allow for a shift in how the protagonist sees them—not all at once, but gradually
Perfect for opposites-attract stories or character redemption arcs.
How to Make Your Frenemy Characters Work
To write compelling frenemies, don’t stop at surface-level snark or rivalry. Great frenemy relationships are:
-
Emotional – Show the pain, affection, or history behind their conflict
-
Complex – Make the relationship evolve throughout the story
-
Balanced – Ensure both characters have motives, growth, and redeeming qualities
-
Purposeful – Tie their subplot into the main storyline for a satisfying arc
Common Mistakes to Avoid
-
Relying on misunderstandings instead of deeper conflict
-
Making one character purely unlikable or flat
-
Resolving the tension too early without payoff
Instead, build real stakes and emotional depth into their dynamic. That’s what keeps readers turning pages.
Final Thoughts
Frenemies are more than just bickering love interests or edgy side characters—they’re emotional powerhouses. Whether you’re writing an ex-BFF drama, a banter-heavy comedy, or a reluctant romance, frenemies can elevate your storytelling by adding intensity, suspense, and chemistry.
Remember: the secret to a good frenemy isn’t the conflict—it’s the complexity. Make them layered, believable, and just a little bit lovable underneath all that sass.
