THE PARTY CRASHER

As soon as I turned onto Monte Vista Drive I could hear the music. Cars were parked all up and down either side of the street and my parents' house was lit up like a goddamn Christmas tree.

I was pulling up closer to get a better look when a couple of people crossed the street right in front of me like it was some kind of night club parking lot. I hit the brakes and laid on the horn and one of the little sons of bitches flipped me off.

"Asshole," he said. "Learn how to fuckin' drive."

Jesus, I thought. They ain't growing them real bright nowadays, are they?

I took a breath and let it out and sat there counting to ten with my foot on the brake, relaxing as I lit a cigarette. I looked up at the house and tried to imagine what must be going on inside if there were more than a hundred stupid people like the ones I'd almost mowed down in the dark.

“Un-fucking-believable,” I said, shaking my head. “Robbie, you little asshole.”

After my parents had left for their vacation I’d had a talk with my little brother. He wasn't so little anymore. I'd tried to give him the wisdom of my experience. Part of that was a list of things not to do when your parents go away on vacation. One of those things was throwing a huge party.

"Yeah OK," he had replied, sighing and rolling his eyes like he was bored. "Like Tommy, I get it, all right?"

Well, it was obvious at this point that he hadn't listened to a word I'd fucking said, or if he had, he just hadn't given a damn.

Well, all right, I thought. If that's your game, Robbie, then fuck you. Whatever happens, either tonight or when Mom and Dad come home, you're going to have to deal with it all by yourself. I'm not bailing your little ass out.

That was all well and good, me putting the responsibility on him, but I was hot and dirty and tired from working the evening shift, and I needed a shower, a little quiet time, and a good night sleep. I didn't figure I'd be getting any of those things tonight at 1321 Monte Vista Drive, but I had nowhere else to go... unless...

I let up off the brake and continued on up the road, looking for a parking space, and as I drove I thought about my wife. I thought about the phone call I'd got from her earlier in the evening, the sound of her voice as well as what she'd said to me.

"Oh Tommy," she had said. "Please come over tonight... please... I need you."

“Linda, baby, ” I had told her gently. “You’ve got to quit doing this. It’s over, all right? It’s over...”

"Oh, Tommy, you know you don't mean that," she had said. "Don't you know how much I need you? Can't you hear it? I'm touching myself right now thinking about you, rubbing my clit, getting my pussy all wet thinking about you."

Jesus, as I had listened to her talk on the phone I had seen the home movies in my mind, recalling those wonderful days when I would come home from work and follow a trail of clothing to the bedroom and find her sitting on the edge of the bed, her legs open and her fingers spreading her pink pussy, showing it to me...

"Stop, Baby," I had told her.

"I need your hard cock deep inside me. I need it, I need it, I need it."

"Linda, please!"

"Come on, Tommy," she had said. "Don't you remember..?"

"Good night, Linda," I had said, and pressed the END button on my phone, determined to resist.

But as I hung a right on Astor Lane and finally found a parking spot, I was still thinking about my crazy beautiful Linda, and the wild times we'd had together.

My parents, my friends, you name it, they all said she was bad for me, but that wasn't so. Linda was the only person I'd ever known who loved me for myself and had never tried to change a thing about me. That's a rare thing in a wife or even a girlfriend.

I got out, put my phone in my pocket, locked up the car, and started walking. As I walked, I began rehearsing the speech I was going to give to Robbie when I got there. It had to do with him opening the door to a houseful of strangers, throwing a party that started with a dozen or so people that he had allowed to grow by word of mouth.

As I started walking down the sidewalk on Monte Vista, I took out another cigarette, put it between my lips and lit it. I began to realize as I got closer to the house that I wasn't going to be making any speeches, even if I did find my brother in that mess.

When I reached the sidewalk in front of the house, I took a drag off my smoke, stepped into the grass, and looked up at the house, moving my eyes from window to window. There were so many people, all of them laughing, screaming, shouting at each other to be heard above the music. It all seemed so ridiculous.

I didn’t fit in with those people. I had never fit in with them, not even when I was one of them. I didn’t want to go inside. I took the phone from my back pocket and scrolled down to Linda on my list of contacts. Linda, the love of my life, my best friend, my drug, my obsession.

My thumb hovered undecided and then I heard my old man's voice thundering in my brain. If I ever went back with that trash I'd have to forget ever being invited to spend time with the family again. Yes, the prick had actually told me that.

"Shit," I sighed and put my phone in my back pocket. I took a final puff of my cigarette and tossed it in the grass, then turned the knob and opened the door, entering the house and slamming the door behind me.

A couple of people saw me walking in and gave me dirty looks. They were both freaky, paranoid looking dudes, and I was just waiting for one of them to come to me and say something so I could set him straight about who I was and what I was doing there.

I made my way through the crowded, hot and smoke-filled living room, my ears catching little bits of shouted conversation trying to make itself heard above the blasting speakers of the stereo.

In the interest of self-preservation, I tried like hell to keep my eyes straight ahead, but it was difficult. Extremely difficult.

All the pretty young things were wearing clothes appropriate to the weather, and my eyes wandered. And I mean they wandered everywhere. I peered down a low-cut blouse here and I spotted a perfect behind in shorty shorts there. And I couldn't move ten feet without seeing a pair of slender, tanned summer legs.

It was after curfew and some of those girls were still in high school. Of course, that didn't mean I wasn't allowed to look. I just hoped Robbie had screened the ages of some of those beauties, especially if he had got some damn fool to buy alcohol and they were drinking it, but hey, like I said, it was his problem to deal with, not mine.

I was going to go hide in my room, leave all of this madness outside the door. Maybe instead of jerking off to a magazine I'd take my cock out and stroke it thinking about some of these sweet young things. I sure as hell needed to blow off some steam after listening to Linda's breathless voice on the phone.

The stairway was crowded with people and I damned near tripped over a pretty little thing stretched out there across a step, but somehow I managed to make it to the top unscathed.

I waited in a small line to use the bathroom where I took a piss and did a thorough washing up while some asshole pounded at the door. When I came out, I glared at the son of a bitch.

"What in the hell were you doing in there?" he shouted at me. "Taking a bubble bath?"

"I think I'll take as long as I want," I said. "I happen to live here."

"Yeah, right!" he said.

He slammed the door before I could tell him off. I turned and walked to the end of the corridor where I found my bedroom door closed, which was not how I had left it. I tried turning the knob and it didn't budge.

"Son of a bitch!" I said.

Someone was in my bedroom. I tried pounding on the door and stood there in the hot corridor with the loud music blasting in my ears, thinking about what might be going on inside. I wondered how many people were in there, if they were getting high or fucking with my stereo and going through my records or, goddamn it, messing with my guitar!

Oh my god, what if it was just two people but they were naked, getting it on all over my bed!

I hurried down the hallway, found the bathroom unoccupied, and rummaged through the medicine cabinet until I found a hairpin. I left the bathroom and stomped back down the hallway towards my bedroom door.

I took a deep breath, steadying my hands as I bent down, bending the hairpin and straightening it out. I stuck it in the hole in the center of the knob, poking at the latch as I twisted it. I felt it give way and I pushed the door open and stood there, frozen to the spot.

It was a girl, all by herself, sprawled out naked and motionless on the bed. It was only after I took a couple of steps and I saw her perfect little breasts were rising and falling that I knew the girl was alive and breathing.

"Jesus Christ," I gasped, admiring her slender young body. "Jesus fucking Christ."