The Crystal Skull Eternity

Things have been pretty mellow since the last time I finished granting wishes. Well, let’s be honest, I never really stop. But if I had to guess, decades have passed since the last time my discoverer exhausted her requisite three. I say discoverer because last time I visited the corporeal realm, the humans who released me took exception to the word “master.” It’s hard keeping up with the trends when you only make an appearance every thirty years or so.

Last time I thought it best to update my living quarters to something a little more modern, otherwise I might never get out. Not that it isn’t great swimming around in a $200 bottle of whiskey shaped like a human skull, but I can’t stay in one place forever, can I? And considering my last vessel was a floral teapot, this one has at least restored what’s left of my male bravado.

Yes, I was a man once. Just where do you think genies come from? Did it ever occur to you that we wished for this existence? It might sound crazy, but for an introvert with greater curiosity than good sense, it was one chance in infinity that I couldn’t pass up.

You’d be correct in thinking that the waiting can get tiresome. But it does give me time to write, after all. And who knows how many people might be reading my story right now? So, if you think of it that way, of us all being connected by words, then this existence is really anything but lonely. Besides, it’s well worth the wait when every time I’m summoned I’m born into another new and strange world.

That’s what I couldn’t pass up, I think—the chance to see how humankind keeps evolving. I’ve awoken in different countries, different continents, different provinces, states, cities, and towns. But the most interesting thing is in observing the progression of humankind’s ideas. Are they becoming more tolerant and peaceful a species? Sometimes I wonder, only for my doubts to be quelled by some courageous, unique individual leading a personal revolution against tyranny or bias—raising masses of support using nothing more than words. What’s more, ideas never dissipate, and I’ve seen centuries and centuries of them. People still paint, and write, and compose, and read, expanding their minds, enriching their lives and the lives of others. And I would have missed so much of it. You can never have too much life, that’s what I always say. There’s too much to see, to learn, to experience.

Still, you’ll hear stories of my kind ultimately growing to regret their existence, wishing instead that they’d never wished at all. I understand how easy it is to become jaded doing what we do. So many people wish for the wrong things: money, beauty, fame, and revenge. People often pretend to be altruistic only to find out when the time comes what sort of individuals they really are. So many of your desires come from a place of vanity, selfishness, greed, and superficiality. I’ll admit, that’s part of the reason I selected this rather unusual new vessel. What will someone wish for who can already afford such expensive tastes? Theoretically, one of the big three—money—should be off the table. But what if he or she wishes for even more fortune?

No. I want to believe that most people are still good, and will make good choices. If I ever stopped believing that, life would become a cynical exercise in futility. Creative wishes—I’ve seen them before. There’s even an altruistic one every now and then.

I’ll write more later, but a time of new discovery is upon me. Someone is opening the bottle for a drink, maybe for fun or pleasure, or maybe because they had a bad day and need to relax. Whatever the case may be, they could have never predicted this moment. A singular opportunity has arisen wherein life as they know it will change forever. What kind of change will it be, and what kind of world will I see? All good, I know it. I believe.