Chapter one
PROLOGUE
Two boys stand in the middle of an orangery: garden chairs and plant pots, twilight-blurred glass panes. The air is heavy and humid, the silence almost overwhelming compared to the noise from the garden party they both left behind.
Their eyes meet before one boy takes a step forward and with a clenched fist, strikes the other boy squarely on the mouth. The other boy staggers backward, instinctively checking if his teeth are still intact. The shock doesn’t linger in the air for long.
“Is that all you’ve got?” the second boy retorts just as the first one strikes him on the mouth again in response.
Once more, the feet regain balance. The lip is split; the lower lip is wiped on the shirt sleeve. He’s about to say something again but is interrupted by another blow. And another one.
The feet stumble, and the boy must push off with his hands. He ends up on his knees, bent forward. He no longer bothers to wipe the blood off his face. He spits on the tiles, apparently giving up on getting more words out of his broken mouth.
The knuckles of the other boy are red and chafed as he steps forward, grabs hold of the hair, and pulls the bruised face up towards him. He observes it before calmly stating, “I’m not going to give you any more punches.”
Then the head is turned to one side, exposing the neck of the beaten boy.
The knife in the free hand is raised. Has it been there all along? A silhouette in the growing darkness.
In one swift motion, the knife slices through the air.
All the mouth can say is blood.
On a dreary, gray day
Tuesdays were always the worst, and this one was particularly dire. The weather around the old school was blustery and grey, but not enough for proper rain. Instead, it had been drizzling all day, alternating between a fine mist and brief downpours.
So Ethel had kept herself indoors. She endured the lessons, trying not to let herself be too affected by the teachers’ constant chatter about the upcoming important exams. She took a deep breath as she finally stepped out of the classroom and made her way up to the meeting with the others from the Club.
It was always a battle to get around. Long corridors and endless stairs. So it was somewhat of a relief for her when she ran into club member William Montague on the stairs to the first floor, and side by side, they made their way to the third floor where the club had procured a room for Tuesday’s meeting.
She remained silent, but there was nothing new in that. She had never been a girl of many words, and there had only been fewer words since her life had been turned upside down. It was William who ended up breaking the silence:
“So, how are you?”
The question was foolish, but nonetheless, everyone asked it. It had been that way since Christmas Day in 2026. And even though Ethel wished she could be the girl with all the answers, she still didn’t have them.
“Alright,” she replied. She always did. From her experience, people rarely cared for the answer anyway. “I wish it were me moving up to the final year.” She glanced at him. “Aren’t you excited?”
“It’ll be alright,” he replied, glancing back. “Don’t you like it here?”
It wasn’t a question of whether Ethel didn’t like being there as much as it was that she could no longer truly identify what she liked. She studied him for a moment, her gaze searching, before she looked ahead again.
“Yes,” she replied and meant it. “But I suppose what you’re about to be taught is more inspiring than what I’m about to read. After all, you only have one year left...”
“Was it you who found her?”
Ethel was focused on the stairs, and it was with a muted gasp that she reached for the railing as the stairs were overrun by a couple of young students chasing each other. But it wasn’t as much of a surprise as William’s question.
For a moment, she considered asking who, but they both knew perfectly well who he was talking about. She wet her lips.
“Yes,” she replied honestly.
“Was Oliver there too? - You’ve moved in with them, haven’t you? The Lancaster family. Is it working alright?”
At first, people had tiptoed around her, looked at her with concern and pity in their eyes. Ethel didn’t know if she preferred that or William’s straightforward approach with a string of questions.
“I live there, yes,” she confirmed nonetheless, truthfully. “And no, I was alone.”
“I’m sorry about your mum,” he said.
Ethel was sorry at times too. Other times she was just numb. She studied him a bit and then gave him a faint smile.
“You can always come to us if the Lancasters becomes to much, alright? To the Club, I mean. Maybe a bit more distraction, a bit of fun, you know.”
“He’s not as bad as they say,” she mildly countered. “He’s good to me.” Even though she still feared Oliver Lancaster. “But thank you. I’ll remember that.”
The shadow of a smile was mirrored with a bit more optimism in William’s eyes than Ethel had had in hers.
The silence was allowed to reign between them. Ethel didn’t mind it at all, and it wasn’t until there was peace on the stairs again that she broke the silence.
“Tell me, what do you mean by fun?”
“Fun? Yeah, you know, doing something other than thinking about schoolwork and family.” William glanced at her, as if trying to figure out what she would define as ‘fun’.
“It could be anything: board games, exploration, innovative inventions.”
It was the perfect misunderstanding, and Ethel, who hadn’t had much to smile about in the last year and a half, suddenly burst into laughter. The sound was light and easy - and almost surprised her.
“I understand the concept, William,” she remarked indulgently. “I was just interested in hearing what you find fun.”
The laughter clearly caught him off guard.
“Well, you can never go wrong with inventions,” began the boy, who hadn’t been prepared for the turn of events. “- Doing silly things,” he supplemented, then added: “What about you two.. - I mean, what do you find fun?”
Sure, Ethel had been engaged to Oliver since birth, but that didn’t really make them a ‘we’. In fact, they had exchanged as few words as possible before she had moved in with the Lancasters.
She let out a cheerful sound, but the carefree state faded quickly. What did she like to do? She had hardly considered it in the last year and a half, just gone along.
“I quite enjoy chess,” she replied and added, “and I’m not half bad at it either. Dancing barefoot in the rain isn’t too bad either.”
For a long time, Ethel had felt like a shadow of herself. In fact, she had hardly felt much at all. But now she was more herself than she had been in a long time.
“I’d like to see that,” replied William, only to add shortly after, “It’s raining now...”
“Really?” She glanced at the window they had just passed. Her gaze returned to William. “Well, then it’s almost a shame we have to go to the meeting.”
“We’re already late,” he said.
Ethel had no doubt about what they should do. She rarely did. What was different today was that she didn’t want to do what she should - and that surprised her.
“Alright,” she surrendered with a slight quiver at the corner of her mouth. “Alright. It’s easier to go downstairs anyway.”
This time, William didn’t hold back the immediate reaction. With a light chuckle and a pair of playful eyes, he looked at her expectantly.
Ethel met his gaze with slightly raised eyebrows before continuing towards the school’s outdoor areas.
The rain was coming down heavily, not pouring, but certainly enough to soak them through in no time. However, there was something in her demeanor that could easily bring thoughts of a smile, even though she didn’t actually smile.
“Care to join me?” she asked, taking off her jacket to lay it on the grass. She only cast a quick glance at him before bending down to untie her shoes.
William also removed his jacket and his shoes and socks.
With raindrops already running down the bridge of his nose and bare toes tentatively testing the wet ground, he met her gaze: “Well, Ethel. Are you inviting me to dance?” She quickly rolled up her socks and slipped into her shoes, even though it exposed both fair skin and slightly crooked knees. She took a step forward towards William. She hesitated only once, but then offered him her hand, which had already collected several drops.
“It looks like it.”
William was not slow to accept it.
“If you step on my toes I’ll scream..” he warned before stepping an inch closer. Although they had known each other for some time through the Club, Ethel had never really set eyes on William. Before now. A smile grazed her lips as she nodded to him.
“It goes both ways,” she informed him, with a muted sparkle in her eye. Then she took a few dancing steps closer to him. There was no music, but they didn’t need it. Moving as if to an inner rhythm, she began to sway with him.
For a long time, she couldn’t remember what it even felt like to have emotions, but now they were starting to come back. There was no order, the sequence was random, but one by one they came flooding in. The feeling of standing close to Oliver Lancaster; the feeling of stepping into the new house; the feeling of waking up in a strange bed; the feeling of seeing her mother at the bottom of the stairs; the feeling of eating lemon cake; the feeling of feeling sunlight on her skin; the feeling of realizing that her mother was dead; the feeling of scalding her tongue on tea; the feeling of her father remaining trapped.
There were so many feelings, flooding in one by one, that Ethel began to fear there wouldn’t be room for them all. But at some point, she began to laugh.
The laughter broke the sound of bare feet on soaking wet grass. William laughed along with her.
It was only then that Ethel realized she hadn’t danced in the rain since her mother died. But now it felt completely right as she followed William, with droplets rolling from her red curls, down her forehead, and dripping from the tip of her nose.
“You’re not half bad at this,” she remarked, feeling weightless for the first time in ages.
Ethel’s compliment caught him unexpectedly off guard, causing his legs, ironically, to stop moving. Instead, he lifted his hand to catch the raindrop on her nose tip and pinch it away between two fingers.
~ to be continued ~
