Prologue
To the girls whose side of the story never counted.
To the people of Sexual assault who were never given the time of day to grief
To the people whose friends dropped them without a proper explanation
To the people who had to sit in the bathrooms during break
To the people of sexual assault who never spoke up. Or if they did they would get told otherwise
To the people who thought they were never good enough
To the people who wanted the bus to hit them when you didn’t look both ways.
To the girls whose older sibling was never around
Whoever is reading this I am sorry…
To me from myself…
…. To you, I am so proud of you you’ve come so far love CRC
The past
This is scary. scary.
I hear this coming from my twin brother’s bedroom. I walk over there to see his best friend, Jack. Jack Jones.
What’s going on, I say?
Well, look who it is; it’s Edith Rose. jack says loudly looking at me
I look at Jack. He is three years older than us; he is 9, while me and Will are 7.
Go away, Edith William says.
But why? I ask upset
Because no girls are allowed, he will say getting off his bed and shutting his door in my face.
I didn’t say anything; all I did was just stand there crying under my breath.
Edi! I hear a family voice call out my name from the stairs, and it’s my grandma. She comes closer to me.
Why are you crying? She asks with her hands on my face.
The boys won’t let me play with them, I say.
That’s when I saw it in my grandma’s eyes—the hint of sarcasm that look she gets when she’s going to say something funny or smart.
Edi, why do we need boys in the world? She looks down at me.
I shrug my shoulders.
We don’t need them. We are more than captains to do things just using girls. But don’t let your grandmother hear this.
I laugh
Hear what my grandmother says from the stairs.
Oh, nothing, my grandma says.
Well, Edi, why don’t we knit in the glasshouse?
I shake my head and go to the glass house. This glass house is just apart from the castle, but it is made out of glass. It’s one of my favourite rooms when it rains. It’s so beautiful and so pretty, and it’s covered in plants, but there are two lounges in the middle. I put myself in the lounge across from my grandma.
I can’t knit, I say.
I know you can’t edi, but why would you want to be a young little girl like I was, my grandma says, getting ready to knit?
I know, but shouldn’t I learn in case I have to do it in the future for my kids? I say, looking at her with doe eyes.
Edi Let me tell you one thing: you and I are the same. We come from both royal blood. No one is ever going to see us like normal people, and with that, why should we stay like the norms? Push outside your limit and make the world know your name, not because you’re a royal. Yes, being a royal is good, but one thing is that you will never have your privacy again, Edith, and this is where the public would want to know everything about you—your boyfriends, your friends, how it is royal, and you. Edith, what I’m saying is I can’t always shield you. I will go one day, and when I go, please carry me on. Not be the boring royals like your cousins or aunties, but be braver and be bold. Edith I can see you doing so much good for this family, but that will mean I will be gone, and frankly, it could be just you against this world; you will get the crown and you will rule the world, but in the meantime, treat people like you want to be treated; never look down on others; never talk about other people’s fancies and all that; and never let anyone use your fame; there will be many people out there who would want to be you; steal everyone from you and let it go; Edith, let them, because you’re a royal, you can always fall back. Yeah. My grandma says while knitting
I understand, but what will I do when you’re no longer here? I ask.
I’ll always be here, Edith. I’ll always give you signs. I will always be with you, she says, knitting still.
But I won’t feel you or see you anymore, I say, getting a little bit upset.
Edith, there is no need to get upset; it’s life. We get old and saggy, then we die, my grandma says.
I just look at her, and I just admire her. She is my best friend. She truly is always here for me when I need her or when we just want to talk about weird things in life I could never do with my mum.
Oh, Edith, I don’t like Jack getting to you. He is a silly boy who would want one thing from you when you were older, and I’m afraid, dear, he won’t stop until he gets it, my grandma says.
I let my eyes drip to sleep as it started to rain. It’s nice and cosy, and I wish we would always live here so I could stay in this room. Stay in the moment. I think I would always live here so I could stay in this room. Stay in the moment. I think I will. I think we can all stay here. I don’t see the need to move; we’ve already moved from England and started our lives here, and I don’t want to move. I want to stay here forever. I thought to myself about all this, but then I had a sudden urge to open my eyes, and I saw my grandma still across from me.
Granny, I say as it’s dark, but there is only a candle lit.
Still no response
Granny, are you asleep? I don’t hear you snoring like you always do, I say now, getting up to touch her, and that’s when I felt her. She is cold and stiff. I screamed, and I think I woke my parents up because they came running in. My dad looks worried, and my mum is now crying. I begin to cry.
Is she dead? I ask
Nobody answers me, but deep down I know she is.
