Episode 1 - Cheek Clap Crusaders
"CLAP DEM ALIEN CHEEKS!" The strange yet passionate battle cry rang out, sending the ragtag troops into a frenzy of raucous cheers. I smiled, the blazing heat of the sun matched only by the fire in my noble heart.
They were hardly an army—just a few dozen disorganized, oddly dressed men and women, without a single piece of armor in their families' vaults. Yet as I rested my hands on my blade, I swelled with joy and purpose. How long had it been since I felt this way? "Goddess above," I whispered a prayer, "watch over us as we clap cheeks this day." I knew many of us would not make it through the night, yet I felt no sorrow, for I knew the Goddess welcomes all warriors into her embrace. And these were warriors true.
At the walls of the enemy fortress we gathered, waiting for the brave to answer the call. "Your people show great courage, facing battle to rescue the Starfolk," I said to the pudgy man beside me, admiring the inhabitants of this peculiar realm.
"E-Eh? O-Oh, yeah, sure..." he said in an awkward, quivering tone, his strange behavior catching my attention.
His posture, the way his gaze laid fixated on my breastplate as if looking for signs of wear and tear. It took me a moment to realize it, how could I be so stupid? The pudgy fellow was afraid. Of course he was, joining the field of battle with nothing but his robes. I held back the tears, choosing instead to reassure the man.
"Once the battle starts, stay close to me," I told him, letting the young man know he would be protected. He looked back at me, his eyes wide and a nervous smile on his face. "T-Thanks... I-I like your cosplay... I-It's a bit off-model, but I can still tell you're Artoria, so it's cool."
I tilted my head, unsure of what he meant. Cool? I looked up at the blazing sun. What did he mean by this? "I am Luminara Brightheart, hero-saint of the realm of Su Teria," I clarified, offering him a friendly smile. "I have come to lend my blade to this noble cause."
The man's eyes darted over my armor-clad form. "Oh, I see. Well, I gotta say, I love your eyebrows. They're so... expressive. Like, weird flex but okay, you know?"
Confusion washed over me as I glanced at my reflection in my polished shield. "My eyebrows are a mark of the Goddess's favor, a sign of my destiny as a hero. I fail to see how they could be considered 'weird' in any way."
The man laughed, his cheeks reddening. "No, no, it's just a meme. Like, a joke on the internet. Never mind, forget I said anything." He shuffled his feet, looking sheepish. "Anyway, I just wanted to say you look really cute. I mean, your cosplay! It's cute. Well done."
I blinked in surprise. This kind soul, standing out here at the enemy's gate, nothing but cloth for protection. Likely seeing war for the first time, yet he was trying to comfort me. "Thank you, kind sir. I am honored by your words." I placed a hand on his shoulder, feeling the warmth of camaraderie with this fledgling hero. "Together, we shall achieve great things this day."
The man's eyes widened, and he stepped back, holding up his hands. "Oh, uh, yeah, totally. Well, I gotta go... do a thing. Good luck with the raid! Leeroy Jenkins!" With that, he hurried away, disappearing into the crowd as they prepared for battle, their faces smiling as they shared moments of joy. I made sure to look and memorize as many of them as I could. Though I did not know their names, it was the least I could do for the brave souls who would put their lives on the line and perish just so that the Starfolk could see freedom.
"Leeroy... Jenkins?" I murmured, watching him go with a mix of confusion and amusement. The people of this world had such strange battle cries. But their hearts were true, and that was what mattered.
With a shake of my head, I turned my attention back to the task at hand. The fortress of Aeria Fifti-Wun loomed before us, its secrets waiting to be unveiled. I drew my sword, the blade gleaming in the desert sun.
"For the Starfolk!" I cried to the heavens. "Let the clapping of cheeks echo in the halls of the Goddess!"
And with that, we charged forth as one mighty tide, crashing against the foundations of secrecy itself. Our onslaught would be glorious beyond measure.
