Secret admirer

"Okey love have fun i hope you will find friends..."

"Yeah i will you don't have to worry, i am not a kid anymore"

"I know...okey don't forget to call me... love youu"

"Love you too mom." I hung up the call and look at the train station in front of me i just entered real student life i live in my own apartment not far away from school just two stops by subway. I had my earphones in and calmly listent to "Wating for Us" by Stray Kids.My subway has arived and i enetered crowded saubway full of students also going to school. I am entering first year of Medical Middle school in Seoul i don't live here so i almost got lost three times while trying to get here. Next station is Seohyeon... that station is mine. I leaved the subway an headed the school Seohyeon was big but i had map open so i knew where i'm going. You should be one minute away from your destination, said the navigation after few minutes i look up and saw pretty big building with a big sing on it Seohyeon Medical School i've arrived. The school was full of student i felt pretty stressed about the first day. At the end of long hall a saw my class it was decorated with lot of paper flowers and a banner welcome students. I slowly entered the class that was halfly filed with student i sat in the corner next to the window.

"Okey get home safe see you all tomorrow." the first day ended really fastly i packed my things a got ready to leave. "See you tomorrom Joon-ya!" I waved goodbye to my classmate i didn't knew him but he just started talking to me. I left the class room and started walking towards the Subway station to get home. I got into my aparment and dropped the backbag on the floor. "Ahhh finally home!" i almost screamed and jumped on the bed. I unpacked this weekend since i got here before the school started so i didn't had to worry about unpacking. I looked at my posters next to my bed and started humming my favorite song. I woke up the next morning "Ohh i don't want to.." i started rubbing my eyes and whining i don't wanna go to school it's boring and i just don't have much friends... I strarted getting ready to school, took a shower and changet my clothes.

I was in the train with my earphones in my ears i was listening to Stray Kids it's my favorite band even it's really hated i just love their songs. After a while i got of the the bus and headed to school. We haven't been doing anything the whole day i was just sooo bored and din't knew what to do... "Class we have nothing else to do so let's go on a quick walk around the school and i will show you everything." Oh maybe something interesting i got of my chair and started walking towards the door. "So you can see the specialized classroms right here" She said and pointed to closed door right in front of us. The whole corridor was covered with projects made by other students. There was also sofa in front of our classroom. We walked further and entered the cafeteria. It was empty and silent. Then we looked at the library in our school it's was nice but i would say i saw prettier libary before. "Okey class we have some time left so i will show you the outside where you can spend the breaks." "Okeyy" everyone said quietly we as we stood outside we could feel colder air since the fall was slowly starting. We could see a small park where you could sit on a bench. I liked the outside it was really calm and relaxing i will spend a lot of time here. After a while we decided to return to the school just to grab our backpaks and go home. As we were waiting for our teacher to open the door for us i was looking through the glass wall to the changing rooms. It was pretty crounded there i was just looking the ton of students trying to pick their shoes and go home. And then i saw him a tall guy with black hair and mascular body was trying to get out of the changing room. As he was moving a saw a little plushie on his bag and i recognised it right away. It was Lee Know's Skzoo plushie. I couldn't believe my eyes my legs started shaking a bit and my heart started beating fast. I couldn't stop looking at him. " Hey Joong-ya do you wanna join us today on the way home i noticed that were taking the same subway" that guy from yesterday strated talking to me again. "Yeah sure" i mumbled i looked back in front of the changing room he was gone i started looking around but i couldn't find him. I felt a stab into my heart. It was the first time i met some one who is same as me. My head was spinning i was so happy but sad and angry that he's gone. We went to the changing room and i changed my shoes. I couldn't stop thinking about what i just saw. "Okey come..." my classmaty shouted at me. I looked at him and nodded i wasn't really able to say something. I always thought about this situation happening but i never knew a would react like this the feeling is so weird and i am somehow embarrassed i feel like i am over reacting but i just can't help it that body reacts like this. We got out off the school and i looked at the gate that was separating the school and outside. And there he was again widely smiling talking to his friends. I felt it again should i talk to him? No his friends would think why am i talking to him and he might be uncomfortable about it... I had a lot of thoughts in my head and didnt knew what to do. But as i was thinking we already pasted him. My classmates were talking the whole time but i didn't really paid attention to them. I will talk to him one day i have too i said to myself. I couldn't stop looking at the pavement in front of me while sitting on the bus stop with my classmates. Something inside of me was hoping so badly that he will past by and that i will at least see him again. I looked at my classmates why did they invited me they obviously don't pay attention to me. The bus came and he was nowhere. I got on the bus. I looked at the gate i saw him before if he's still there but no one was there. My classmates started paying attention to me an asked me some questions about me and my life. But i didn't fully paid attention a was still deeply in my thougths. " What music do you like..?" the question i hate the most. "I don't really listen to music" LIE again this is the thing i never answered truly. Only once and i shoudn't have said that day but i didn't really answered...

"HEY Joong-ya! what music do you listed to?" my classmate shouted at me, i looked at him. And stayed silent "Come on say it we know each other more than 8 years!" i knew that but i was still scared. Even little thing can change a lot... he came to me "Come on don't be a pussy!" He cursed i din't liked that about him but i never told him. "Fine when you won't say it i will find out myself!" he said and grabbed my phone "STOP!" i shouted but he just laughted. He started looking for the spotify app on my phone. "I GOT IT!" He shouted throught the whole class. He putted the phone to his ear and started listening that's the moment i got scared. "What is this!" he shouted and started browsing throught my phone. "HEY DO YOU LISTEN TO THOSE CHINESE MEN TOO!" he shouted as soon he said it the whole class started laughting. He threw my phone on the floor. And it got even worse because he saw the photocard under my phone case and looked at me disgusted... "WHAT IS THIS SHIT!" he shouted and pointed at the photocard. "Please stop" I said "No i won't cuz this is so disgusting!" he said and pulled out my photocard. "YOU LIKE HIM ARE YOU A FAG?!" he shouted that's when my eyes started filling with tears. he came to the sink in your class and started dipping the photocard in the water i started shouting "What are you doing please stopp!" he started drowning the card under water and i slowly started seeing her soak....

"Joong-ya you okey" my classmate was waving in front of my face "you okey?" "Yeah i just got lost in thoughts..." i said and looked at him. "Ahh okey. We will get off at the next stop." i nodded. As we got of the bus i felt a bit better and started talking with my classmates about movies and stuff. "So yeah i like Marvel movies a lot..." "Really i never really liked it, it's not bad but not good at the same time you know what i mean.." i said and chuckled "Yeah i know" he said as he started laughting. We pasted the shop next to the subway station when i always went to by some food. And there he was again. Standing with his friends again he looked so happy i couldn't believed it how can someone look so bright...

I looked at him intensely as we walked away to the train station. It was very crowded. I couldn't really move because there was a lot of students waiting for their subway. I was looking aroud and then i saw him so close to me could touch him without streching my hand. My ears were ringing and i din't knew what to do he is same that was the only thing i could hear in my head. And then my brain thought about something so stupid. Talk to him ask him about everything. I thought for a moment and then ignored the facts that i even had that idea. DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! I raised my hand thinking should i do it I could se him mascular back beause he was wearing a tank top. No wonders it was so hot today i coudl barely breath. I streched my arm even bit closer to his shouder. MY fingertips were just few inches from his skin. But suddenly i was watching him walking away my arm still streached. I was just looking at him as he disappeared in the crowd. I followed him i was so counfused at that moment i didn't knew what i was doing. Why am i following him i look like some creep... I was standing behind him again my mind was fuzzy i din't knew why i followed him just now and why am i standing behind him again. Now i have to do it... I raised my arm took a shaky breath and tapped on his shoulder what did i just do! I am so stupid i probably look so stupid…

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Hi i am Ema i am new here and i wanted to share my story with you because i really enjoy writing but i would appreciate if someone would tell me if it's good or not. I hope you will enjoy my story...💕