Parodypasta: The Scariest Story of All time

I woke up today, ready to log in and check up on all of the things I’ve missed online but I found that my computer was missing. I went to see if my computer was in the other room but when I was there I realized that the router was missing as well. When I tried to call the internet company on my cellphone to complain about the problem I realized that I had no cellphone. Confused to what was going on, I went outside to get some fresh air and think things over. That is when I caught site of the newspaper. It read 1974. I was officially in a time before the internet or cellphone or computers had even become a big thing. But this is not what scared me. Oh no. It was the fact that I would have to wear seventies fashion from now on. I yelled in a dramatic fashion, “Noo! I don’t look good in an afro!” The neighbor came out and told me to be quiet before tossing a fish in my face. I caught the fish in my hands after it dropped down slowly from my nose and lips in a dramatic fashion.

“Well,” I thought to myself, “at least I have dinner”. I brought the fish inside and cooked it. It was delicious and made me feel a bit better about having to dress weird. Little did I know that the scariest thing was yet to come. I turned on the radio, hoping to take my mind off of bad 70s fashion but what played...what played was not music. It was some kind of...pseudo pop that was making my ears bleed. I started to yell in terror. The music continued to play in such a horrible tone that I blew up. And that was the end. I was cursed to haunt the apartment ever more but at least I didn’t have to wear 70s fashion. That is what I thought but...when I looked down I saw I was wearing bell bottoms. I felt my head and realized that it was fixed into an afro like doo. I had to be dressed like that...for all eternity. I could never change the style no matter how many years passed. The 2000s came up but I was still dressed in that horrible fashion. The weird 70s music played around me forever in my own horrible existence. Unchanging. Until the end of time.