Prologue
Olivia
I would dream of a day where Prince Charming would come along and rescue me. When I was younger I’d hope for a tall handsome stranger to save me from my mundane life. They’d show me everything I was missing. They’d show me everything I craved. They’d even give me a family of my own to love after not having one since I was a child. No mother. No father. Nothing.
At least with a family of my own I would feel loved and needed. I might even feel like my life wasn’t a waste while I just sat around waiting for the impossible to happen.
But the older I got the more a handsome man and a family seemed like a pipe dream. I mean at the age of 25 I should have had a partner? Someone who I could picture having a family with? But no. There a was no one. Not even a blip on the radar.
Living in a city you’d think there would be someone who would find me attractive. Someone who would find me worthy of love, but no. I was yet to find him, or any man who would even look twice at me, despite being surrounded by men.
What was wrong with me? Was I that unlovable? Or was it the gorgeous woman I often found myself surrounded by? All the prettier women, stealing attention, making me feel less and less confident the longer I spent with them.
Sometimes I found myself hating my life. I often felt like a stranger in my own skin. Like I was meant to do more in this world then just sit at a desk five days a week and then sit at home reading a book, not seeing or speaking to anyone the rest of my time.
I mean, this couldn’t be it, could it? There was more to this world than just working? There had to be, but despite searching I always came up short.
Maybe if I pushed myself to do things I wouldn’t usually do then I might find something I enjoyed? I wasn’t going to find it doing the same thing I always did, day in, day out.
I had to change my routine, shake up my life. That’s what all the books say that I need to do. The self help books that tell me how to live my life without regret.
They tell you to never say no, take the bull by the horns and seize the day.
But then another book will tell you to do whatever makes you happy.
How was I ever supposed to know what to do with contradicting ideas like that?
Maybe if my parents were still around they could offer me some advice. Words of wisdom to live my life by, but that wouldn’t happen. I was alone. Like I always have been since they disappeared into thin air.
Alone in a cruel world that I didn’t understand.
Everyone else made it look easy. They all seemed to know what they wanted to do with their lives, but not me. I was clueless. Clueless and alone, just trying to navigate through this life, comparing myself to anyone and everyone.
I just didn’t understand how I seemed to be the only one who seemed lost. That was until one night out with work friends. That one night that sent my life off on a completely different trajectory. Taking me to places I didn’t know existed, showing me things I didn’t think were possible, making me feel things I didn’t know I was capable of. A desire that took me to dark places. A desire that made me do dark things. A desire that I couldn’t fight, but would find myself craving the more I submitted to him. He was my salvation. He was everything. He was my deadly desire.
