Healing Lilly

The sound of my alarm startles me. I realize it’s five in the morning and I need to get started on my day. I have been up for awhile sitting on the roof trying to calm down. I silently walk down the stairs, careful not to wake up my mom or Steven. 

I don’t really remember a lot about the time where Steven wasn’t in our life, but I wished he would leave. The few memories I remember depict my mother actually loving me. Then he came along and convinced her I was her problem rather than her daughter.

Every morning I wake up, get ready, cook them breakfast, and start my walk to school. Both of them are strict on when and what I eat, especially mom. Every three days I am given one small meal consisting of some type of meat and a vegetable. Mom says its to make sure I don’t get fat. One time I sneaked a snack while they were sleeping and found out the hard way that they make sure they know how much food there was before they go to sleep. I got a nasty beating that day.

Getting ready takes a lot longer than I would like. I have to re-bandage all of the fresh wounds and then put foundation over the bruises and cuts that are visible. I usually wear baggy clothes like sweat shirts and sweat pants, and they have to be long sleeved.

I leave the house an hour later to start walking to school. My family can’t afford to purchase a car for me to use. Not that they would anyway, so I walk to wherever I need to go. The walk to school is usually about three miles and it takes me about an hour and a half. I usually arrive at school by 7:30 so I can use the school computers to complete my online homework. I don’t have a phone either.

People tend to not bother me at school. I have a temper and get ticked off quickly. I started a lot of fights with the school’s bitch Hannah. She thinks she is better than everybody else.

Most people tend to think I don’t like girly stuff based on the way I dress, but if I could afford it I would dress a lot differently.

For years I dreamed that some guy would come a long and save me from this hell hole that is my life, but that dream died a long time ago. I have come to learn that I have myself and only myself to rely on, it’s better that way. So I act like some cool bad girl that hates everyone and everything. It’s better that people don’t get close to me, its never good for them.

After I finish my homework I walk into my first class of the day. English tends to be my favorite subject, especially when we are reading a novel. Unfortunately, today we are reading poetry which is not my thing, so I put my head on my desk and tried to sleep for a little while. My ribs are aching from last night’s beating, but I try to ignore them.

Half way through the class I am jolted from my sleep by the Principal calling my name over the announcement. I sling my bag over my shoulder and walk out of the classroom.

My feet fell heavy as I make my way to the Office. I have this weird feeling in my stomach, so I take my sweet time walking down the hall. I walk in and send a wave to Nancy the front desk lady, she sees me at least three times a week. I don’t bother knocking before opening the door and waltzing in. I take pride that I make the Principal shake in his boots.

“What,” I bark.

“Lilly, I have some important news I need to share with you,“the Principal’s voice shakes as he says this.

“Out with it,” I command already tired of this conversation.

“Lilly, it is with great regret that I tell you this, but your mom and step dad passed away in a car crash this morning while you were here,” he actually looks sad as he says this.

I sit there silent, staring at the wall as relief floods through me. All I can think about is the fact that they can never hurt me again.

Principal Johnson looks confused at my lack of words. Before I can say anything a little short blond woman walks in and introduces herself as Jane, my social worker.

“Okay, let’s skip the charades where am I going now, foster care?” My voice is as cold as ever.

Jane looks taken aback but slowly says,” Most likely, though we are going to head down to the police station and take a DNA test just to make sure you don’t have any relatives that can take you in. Lucky for you, your 17 and will only have to be in a foster home for a less than a year.”

“Yay me,” I responded sarcastically.

Jane ignores my tone and leads me out to her car. We sat in silence the whole car ride. They take me to a small room with a cot. They take a DNA sample, saying it will take about 30 minutes before walking out.

I stare at the wall.

Sure enough thirty minutes later Jane comes in looking all too excited.

“Good news Lilly, turns out your father has been searching for you for years. Apparently your mother, umm, well she stole you from him and your whole family has been scouring the Earth for you. ” She stumbles over the last part.

" I think your DNA test is faulty because there is no way in hell I have a long lost family.” I say in disbelief.

" It’s not a mistake Lilly. Your father is on his way from New York with your eldest brother I think his name was Xander.” She assures me.

“Wait hold on, what do you mean “eldest brother”? How many brothers do I have?” I ask in astonishment.

" Well, I believe your father said eight on the phone. I believe they are all 18 or older.” She states as I try and mask my surprise.

I feel relieved that they are all older than eighteen that must mean they don’t live in the house anymore. Not that it matters though, because I will not be staying with nine men I do not know family or not. I could barely handle beatings from mom and Steven. Nine men would kill me.

“I chose foster care.” My voice turns cold.

" W-what? Why wouldn’t you want to be with your family? Either way, I am sorry Lilly, but you don’t have a choice you are going to move in with them, its protocol.”

" I don’t give a flying fuck what your protocol is. I. Am. Not. Staying. With. Them.” My eyes narrow.

" Lilly, I do not care for your foul language or your tone. You are staying here and when they come you will go with them.” She says firmly.

I shove past her and bolt out the door. Ten minutes later I’m in an interrogation room handcuffed to the table. I was labeled a “flight risk” and I was to stay in said handcuffs until my guardian arrived.

So that is how I sat until hours later when I heard the door being opened and two men walked into the room looking pissed.