Big Balls.
Big Balls: Ray serenades his coworker Olivia for the first time with an unlikely choice…
I’ve got Big Balls, I’ve got big balls.
And they’re such big balls, dirty big balls.
AC/DC.
December 31 1990.
Southern California.
11:00 pm.
I finished an observation lap of my suburban grocery store nestled in the snow-peaked San Gabriel foothills where I normally served as an overnight manager. With only three hours until everyone punched out, I made a judgement call to have the freight team stop throwing stock at midnight and take what remained to the backroom. Our store manager would not be happy with me, but it wouldn’t be the first time. Or the last. With the decision made, I could finally relax.
It is what it is…
As usual, I ended up by bakery, where tall and sexy Olivia was closing her department. Though twelve years older than my twenty-seven years, I always enjoyed our light flirting. Somehow both willowy and curvy, she waved to me. “Hi, Ray. Pam called out and you got stuck closing on New Year’s Eve? That must really suck.”
I came within whispering distance, so she leaned closer, tickling my cheek with her satiny golden locks and kneading my bicep between stealthily full breasts. “Yes, indeed, Olivia. It sucks. Sucks big, hairy balls.”
Her friendly blue eyes lit up. “Oh! Like the AC/DC song! Ray, do you have… big balls?”
For you? Always…
“Why, yes, Olivia. I certainly do.”
I sang,
“My balls are always bouncing, to the left and to the right.
It’s my belief that my big balls should be held every night!”
She giggled, “You’re sooo bad. Well, I’m headed out to party with Mandy. Did you have any plans for tonight, Ray?”
Hmm. That sounded sort of like an invite. But… maybe not. Damn. Hard to tell. Sexual harassment, that’s what they’re calling it now. Gotta be extra careful these days…
“No plans, Olivia. Well, happy new year. Have fun with Mandy.”
A flash of frustration crossed Olivia’s pretty face, then she gave me a prize winning smile and gathered up her things. “Thanks. See you next year, Ray.”
Ahh, well. Maybe next time. Fuck, I’m horny…
Fully aware that my team had seen me wasting five minutes while captivated by Olivia’s bountiful charms, I urged, “Let’s go, people. Get the last of this shit on the shelves, then we’ll clean up.”
Unsurprisingly, one of my younger guys mouthed off. “Ray, why don’t you get your old lady to help us after you bone her? Hey, how big ARE those titties?”
I scoffed. “Massive. Now, hurry the fuck up.”
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I worked at a local county museum. Besides the permanent displays, there was a gallery where we rotated exhibits. Sometimes traveling ones, but oftentimes original. While there I assisted with a variety of topics including Walter Payton, Anime, Fishing, and LP album art.
While brainstorming topics, our museum education director suggested we just fill the whole space with all different types of balls, like a giant ball pit. "We can call it, "We've got Balls!". 🙄🤣