Prologe
I want to kill my self , the pain this pain I have an unbearable pounding in my head like my head its the wood being split by an axe . I try to hold the pulsing thing, but my hands don’t move. I look down at the leather restraints on my hands and my feet. I’m in a chair; that I’m sure of that . The cold metal and the smell of bleach give the whole room a sanitary feel. Then, a warmth spreads through me. Hands on my face; when I lift my gaze, I see pure white bright lights blinding. I can’t see faces, and the voices don’t sound like voices. “You don’t understand yet, but this is for your own good. You were broken, fragmented, lost—I saw that. I’m the only one who truly cares enough to fix you. All these tests... they’re not torture, darling. They’re a necessary step in fixing the broken.” Broken—they say it so much, it must be true. Maybe they’re right. An orphan, no parents and no history; maybe I am broken. And that’s when I feel my body give. Everything seems softer, my vision blurs, and the unmistakable sound of ringing fills my ears. The voice is female but sounds so far away. “Vitals slowing; losing consciousness in...” It’s all black. The ringing gets louder, but I can’t open my eyes. It’s like... like I’m floating, my body feeling so much lighter. The ringing—God, it’s so loud.
Bump... bump bump. I look out the window; the once stubborn hills are now a muddy, desolate swamp. Everything hurts—my ass cramping from being in this damn bus seat for so long. Six hours of bus ride, and we’re still not at the S.Y.S.T.E.M. campus. I glance down at my phone: 2:51. Then I groan, “What?” I turn to my left, my eyes locking with Alice. Honestly, I’m just happy I have someone here with me, and even more, the only sort of family I’ve ever had. Not like the nuns at the orphanage really cared or were really saints either, but when you grow up like me, alone, a reject, there’s not much that’s guaranteed. So when the offer to get the hell out of that shithole of an orphanage came, I snatched it up.
So here I am on the bus, heading to work for the system. I reach down, pulling up my dumbbell of a bag. I rip it open, digging through it until I pull out the third bag of gummy bears I’ve had so far. I never understood how such tiny gummy bodies could have so much flavor, but I tear the bag open, getting Alice’s attention. She sighs, “That’s the third bag, Elena. You have to stop.” I shrug. “Well, those witches aren’t here to regulate how much sugar we have now, so better believe I’m cashing in on it,” I snap back, stuffing my face with gummy goodness. When she goes silent once more, I glance over. I see it—the look of uncertainty that she’s had for the whole ride. I swallow and put the bag in my lap. “This is a fresh start for us, a...a way out of the cycle. You know the older we get, the slimmer our chances get to be adopted.” Alice finally turns over, locking eyes with me. “I know, I know. I just...don’t know. We left the only home we had for a place that doesn’t even have a website.” I roll my eyes, shuffling through the gummy bears. I offered her all the oranges; we all know that the flavor tastes like battery acid. “Sure, like that place was ever a home,” I remark as Alice accepts my offer and takes the gummy bears.“ look there’s no point in worrying we might as well relax and enjoy the ride” i sit back in my seat “ we probably have another 6 hours anyway” i mumble turning the watch the Scenery fly by its the only form of entertainment i have not like a phone at 4 percent ever meant much anyway i let Alice’s words sink in i know she right she’s always been the voice of reason the voice that always tells me that tells me that crying is ok that emotions are normal when she dose that her voice doesn’t sound as reasonable after 12 years of being thrown around the adoptment cycle I’ve learned one thing weakness is death not that i have much to live for but the thought of Alice trying to make it alone is enough to keep me going so i took the offer got on this bus so it can take me to my only way out the S.Y.S.T.E.M.
