Chapter 1: HEAVEN'S FIRST MISTAKE
It feels like being drowned in light. Not warmth. Not guidance. Just blinding, suffocating blue that wraps around my body and yanks my soul across dimensions like a ragdoll.
Every time, it feels like dying.
Every time, I wish it actually was.
My name doesn’t matter anymore. Maybe it did once. Maybe I had a name worth remembering. Now, all I am is a body trained to kill, a heart hollowed out by betrayal, and a soul chained by cosmic puppeteers.
And I know you're reading this. Yes—you. I don’t know if you're someone in my world, this world, or neither. Maybe you’re just a pair of eyes on a screen. But I want you to witness this. Every word. Every life. Every scream.
Because what you're about to read is not a story of hope. It’s not about redemption. It’s not some divine prophecy or hero’s journey.
This is what happens when you drag a man through 30 lifetimes of suffering and expect him to smile through it.
THE FIRST SUMMON
I was seventeen. Stupid. Idealistic. They summoned me to save their world from a Demon King. I got a shiny sword, some magic buffs, and the admiration of a kingdom. Spent six months there. Beat the bad guy. Got a feast and a scroll of thanks.
And when I went home?
Nothing had changed.
It was like I never left. Same clock. Same people. Same jokes. Not even a second had passed.
I thought: "Wow\... cool. Maybe this is my fate. Maybe I can be a hero *and* live a normal life."
That was the setup.
THE SECOND SUMMON
Same light. Same pain. Different threat. New continent. This time it took a year. When I came home, it had been six months.
My friends had moved away. Different states. Different countries. Phones disconnected. Socials wiped. Just.. gone...
I was pissed. But I understood.. Life moves on...
I thought I could still have something to hold onto.
I was wrong....
THE THIRD SUMMON.
The world was colder this time. Not the fantasy one.. Mine...
I fell in love during that summon. A beautiful mage. Her laugh made me feel human again. We built something. When I got pulled back home, I couldn’t breathe for days.
Then I found her again.
Except… not there. She didn't exist here. But I met someone just like her. I tried not to fall. But I did.
We got married. Had a daughter. Her name was Hana.
The summons kept happening.
But each time I came back... Hana was there. Just like before. She'd still be five. Then six. Then seven. I was allowed to come back every time and hold her again. Tuck her in. Read her stories.
I should've known.
That was the CRUELEST setup.
THE 20TH SUMMON
I came home.
She was gone..
No warning... No trace.... No funeral......
Just a cold house That's empty and almost abandoned..
My daughter’s drawings were still on the fridge. I guess they forgot that.
But her voice was gone.
Do you know what it feels like to lose your child without even the mercy of closure?
Because I do.
And that's when I stopped .feeling. anything at all.
Now?
IT'S THE 30TH SUMMON TODAY AFTER 2 YEARS OF FREEDOM...
My body is surrounded by blue light again. It hums, familiar and sickening. My muscles remember the transition. My soul? It’s already tired.
I’ve lived over 200 years across these worlds. I still look thirty. A cruel perk of divine magic. Immortal skin. Ageless eyes. But inside?
I’m dust.
I’m ash trying to stand up.
My smiles hurt. My tears stopped years ago. Emotions are just echoes now. I mimic them out of habit. But feel them?
No.
All I feel now is ...pressure...
And the world says pressure makes diamonds.
But today? It burst a pipe.
I materialize in the familiar celestial chamber. White pillars. Floating glyphs. Roses in the air. The whole divine aesthetic BULLSHIT, these gods like.
And there she is.
The Goddess.
Her silver eyes glint with that same smug expression. That same sick smirk like this is all a game. Like she's the writer and I'm the ink.
She opens her mouth.
“Welcome back weap- I mean hero ~”
There it is
I move.
Not with anger.
With clarity....
My sword brought to me by the Will to kill alone materialized in my hand and I swing through her body before she finishes the word. A line of blood arcs in the air. Her divine form trembles as I show her a real God. She stares at me, eyes wide. Shocked.
I'd be.
She forgot.
This is the 30th time.
I remember everything. And I no longer play by her rules..
She crumbles.. Dead. Just like that. It's almost satisfying....
Read that again.
I breathe out slowly.
Calm.
But not peace.
You still there, reader?
Good.
Because I want you to understand. This is no longer about saving anyone.
This world will burn.
I am the first and I will be the last. I am the freedom they deserved... but the freedom they failed to earn.
The Thirtieth Summon is not my return.
I's The End
