Torn Between Worlds: Freya's Story

Water covered my ears, muffling everything around me until there was nothing but the quiet sound of my own breathing. My eyes stayed closed as I floated on my back, letting the water carry me wherever it wanted. 

For once, there was nothing. No classes, no assignments, no professors asking me what I planned to do with my life. No expectations waiting for me the second I stepped outside this room. It was just the water around me—and the quiet.

It was peaceful. Relaxing. As if the rest of the world had just… melted away.

I took in a slow breath, filling my lungs before I let it out, feeling myself sink a little deeper into the water before it pushed me toward the surface again. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I could feel my wolf. Zahra was quiet, too. And the longer I floated, the easier it became to slip into that place in my mind where our souls began to merge.

And, slowly, the darkness behind my eyes changed. Trees surrounded me. Or, more accurately, my wolf. Zahra ran through the forest, her paws digging into the ground as she raced between the trees. Everything around her was bright and green, with the sunlight coming in through the leaves above. Dew covered the grass and plants along the forest floor, sparkling whenever the light caught it.

She ran faster and faster. The trees rushed past her. Wind moved through her fur as her paws hit the ground, one after another. And the cool morning air filled her lungs.

There was no hesitation. No wondering where she was supposed to go or what she was supposed to be doing. She just… ran.

Eventually, the trees thinned. Zahra pushed through the last of them before slowing to a stop. A cliff stretched out in front of her, and beyond it was an ocean. It seemed endless, stretching so far that the water eventually disappeared into the sky.

My wolf stepped closer to the edge and lifted her head. The air felt different here. Cleaner and lighter than back home. She took in a deep breath, holding it in before slowly releasing it.

I wanted to stay here. Maybe Zahra did too. But the ocean disappeared, and the trees faded away.

My eyes opened, but instead of the blue sky, there was a ceiling high above me. For a few seconds, I didn’t move. I just stared at it. Then reality came crashing back.

A sigh escaped me as I let my legs sink beneath the water. My feet touched the bottom of the pool, and I stood, wiping the water from my face.

The indoor pool was empty. Not that it was unusual for me to have it to myself this early. Most people in Storme Towers were already working, training, or doing something far more productive with their morning.

Meanwhile, I had apparently been floating around long enough to turn myself into a raisin. I looked down at my hands, noticing that my fingers were completely pruned.

We should probably get out, Zahra said. You have that meeting you need to go to.

Right… Professor Patton. She was my academic advisor at Thunder Ridge University, and one of the professors in the business college. And lately, I had been seeing entirely too much of her.

I pushed through the water toward the steps with a heavy sigh. I wasn’t doing well in school.

That’s putting it nicely… my wolf huffed.

Well, she was right. I was failing. Maybe not every class, but enough of them that this was my… what? Fifth meeting with Professor Patton? Sixth? I had honestly lost count.

Water dripped from me as I grabbed the railing and climbed out of the pool. If I had been a normal student, I probably would’ve been kicked out of TRU by now. But I wasn’t a normal student.

I was Freya Storme. Daughter of the Alpha and Luna of Thunder Ridge. Apparently, that meant the rules could be bent when it came to me.

Deadlines suddenly weren’t so firm. Professors let me redo assignments they probably wouldn’t let other students redo. Meetings happened instead of warnings. Warnings happened instead of consequences.

Everyone was always so understanding. Sometimes, I wished they weren’t. Sometimes, I wished someone would look at me and see another student screwing up. Maybe then the rock of guilt that had been sitting on my chest for months wouldn’t feel quite so heavy.

I pushed open the door to the women’s locker room and stepped inside. Like the pool, it was empty.

Reaching up, I pulled the swim cap from my head. My black curls immediately fell around my shoulders, and I tossed the cap onto the bench beside the lockers.

I ran my fingers through my hair. Most of it was still dry… A few curls had managed to escape around my neck and ears, but that was about it. If I hadn’t had somewhere to be after, I wouldn’t have bothered with the stupid cap. I liked swimming without one.

But wet curls and somewhere I needed to be weren’t exactly a good combination.

I stopped in front of my locker and put in the combo. My name was printed across the small plate on the front, with Momma’s locker right beside mine. I opened the door and grabbed my shirt, using it to pat water from my face and neck before reaching for my phone.

The screen lit up, as did the time. 8:53.

No. No, no, no.

“Shit!”

My meeting was at nine.

Freya—

“Shit, shit, shit.”

There was no way. Absolutely no way.

I hadn’t meant to stay in the pool this long. Twenty minutes. That was all this was supposed to be. Maybe thirty at the most.

I had only come down here because I had been nervous about meeting with Professor Patton again, and swimming usually helped clear my head. Apparently, I had cleared it a little too well. There was no way I could make it to campus in seven minutes. Even if I broke every traffic law between Storme Towers and TRU, I still wouldn’t make it.

Great. Just fucking great.

If Professor Patton hadn’t been ready to expel me before, showing up late to my sixth meeting about my terrible academic performance would probably do it.

I dropped my phone onto the bench and grabbed the straps of my bathing suit. There wasn’t time for a shower. There wasn’t even time to dry off properly.

I quickly stripped out of my bathing suit and tossed it onto the bench beside my cap before grabbing my towel. As fast as I could, I dragged it over my arms and legs, then my stomach and back.

That’s good enough, Zahra commented when she felt I was taking too long.

I grabbed the clothes I had worn downstairs and pulled on my shorts. However, my bra and panties stayed exactly where they were. My skin was still damp enough that my bra would get halfway down my back, stick there, and turn into a five-minute fight I didn’t have time for.

I yanked my T-shirt over my head instead. The fabric immediately clung to a few damp spots along my back.

Whatever…

I slipped my feet into my sandals, grabbed my bathing suit and cap, and wrapped them in the towel. I bundled everything together as quickly as I could, holding it against my chest. Then I grabbed my phone and slammed my locker shut.

My sandals slapped against the floor as I hurried out of the pool area and down the hallway. I nearly slipped when I turned the first corner, catching myself against the wall before continuing.

“Moon above.”

Careful, Zahra warned.

I don’t have time for careful, I growled back.

I tightened my hold on the bundled-up towel and kept going.

Eventually, the hallway opened into the main lobby of Storme Towers. Though I’ve walked through this lobby thousands of times, I barely noticed any of it. The only thing I cared about was getting upstairs, getting dressed, and getting to TRU.

However, unlike the pool, the lobby was crowded. From the staff and guards to guests who were here on pack business.

“Good morning, Miss Freya.”

“Morning!” I rushed out.

One of the Gamma guards stepped aside before I could run straight into him.

“Miss Freya...”

“Sorry!”

An Omega carrying a stack of folded linens quickly moved out of my way.

“Morning. Sorry. Thank you!”

I wasn’t even sure what I was thanking her for. Probably not letting me knock her over.

I hurried around the large sculpture in the center of the room. Several wolves twisted around one another in some sort of abstract design, with their bodies circling a silver teardrop suspended in the middle.

I headed for the elevators on the left side of the lobby. Ten regular elevators lined the hallway, five on each side, but I passed all of them. The one I needed was at the very end. Unlike the others, its doors were gold.

I tapped the back of my phone against the keypad beside it. A light flashed, and the doors opened a few seconds later.

“Come on, come on,” I said as I hurried inside, hitting the button for the second floor of the Alpha’s apartments.

The doors slid closed, but when they did, I immediately regretted it. Mirrors covered all sides of the elevator.

“Oh my Moon.”

I looked horrible. My shirt was clinging to my skin around my stomach and sides. My shorts weren’t much better. But my hair… It was just a mess of curls. And there wasn’t going to be time to fix it.

I’d have to put it in a bun. That was it. Bun, clothes, shoes, keys, then leave.

“Professor Patton!” I gasped as my eyes widened. “I should call her office.”

I fumbled with my phone so quickly I nearly dropped it. I caught it against my stomach, then hurried into my contacts. My fingers shook as I scrolled until I found the number for her office.

If I was going to be late, I needed to at least call her.

I hit the number and lifted the phone to my ear. It rang three times before a young woman finally answered.

“Professor Patton’s office.”

“Hi.” I swallowed. “This is Freya Storme. I have an appointment with Professor Patton at nine, but I’m… I’m going to be a little late.”

There was a pause. Not a short one either.

“How late?” The young woman finally asked.

“Maybe twenty-five minutes? Thirty at most.”

Another long pause made my stomach twist into knots.

“Professor Patton has a lecture at ten. As long as you’re here no later than 9:45, she can still meet with you.”

“I will be,” I said quickly. “Definitely. I won’t be that late.”

“All right. I’ll let her know.”

“Thank you. Thank you so much.”

The call ended after that, and I lowered my phone.

Okay… That was okay. I had time. Not much, but I had time. And I wasn’t missing this meeting. Professor Patton knew I was coming. Everything was—

My thoughts were interrupted as my heart slammed against my chest. I tried to take a breath, but it felt like no air reached my lungs. I tried again, only to struggle even more.

My hand went to my chest, feeling a sharp ache go through my heart.

No… Please, not now. I didn’t have time for this.

I tried to take another deep breath, but the harder I tried, the less air I seemed to get. My fingers started tingling, and my heart wouldn’t slow down. And on top of that, my thoughts didn’t stop, either.

Late… Professor Patton. Classes. Failing. Momma. Dad. TRU. Everyone knowing. Everyone always fucking knowing.

“Stop…” I whispered, squeezing my eyes shut.

Freya, Zahra’s voice called out to me. Listen to me. You need to breathe.

I can’t, I cried internally.

Take it slow, she urged calmly.

I tried, and my body shook as I took in a breath. But it still didn’t feel like enough.

Do it again.

My heart was still pounding, but I sucked in a breath. Then another.

Slowly, the elevator beneath my feet became noticeable again. My vision began to clear, and all I could see was my own reflection staring back at me.

After taking another deep breath, my shoulders dropped slightly. The pressure in my chest didn’t disappear. Neither had the shaking. But I could breathe. Barely.

A soft ding sounded, and I lifted my head just as the elevator doors opened. I stumbled out, catching myself on the wall before I could lose my balance. For a minute, I just stood there, breathing.

My heart was still beating too fast, but I couldn’t stand there waiting for it to stop. I pushed away from the wall, taking a quick look around the hallway. Thankfully, the upstairs was quiet.

Dad and Momma must’ve already left, and my brothers weren’t around either. I couldn’t hear anyone downstairs, and the usual sounds of the maids cleaning hadn’t started yet.

Good. I didn’t want anyone asking what was wrong. Especially when I didn’t have an answer.

I turned right and headed for my bedroom. Once inside, I shut the door behind me and tossed the wet bundle into my hamper.

My room looked exactly like I had left it. The comforter was half pulled off one side of my bed. A glass of water sat on my nightstand beside two empty ones I hadn’t bothered taking downstairs yet. Clothes were piled across the chair in the corner even though the closet was only a few feet away.

My collection of cameras, both old and new, sat untouched on a shelf above my desk. I couldn’t remember the last time I had picked any of them up. A few months ago, maybe. There had been a time when I carried one everywhere. Now a layer of dust probably coated the lens beneath the caps.

I looked away, knowing I had no time to feel sad over it. I pulled off my damp shirt and shorts and tossed them toward the hamper. The shirt made it. The shorts landed on the floor.

Whatever.

I was dry enough now to pull on a sports bra and underwear without fighting for my life, so I grabbed both from my dresser. I pulled on a pair of baggy jeans with a hole in one knee, then went to the closet. From there, I grabbed a T-shirt and hoodie.

I hurried to my vanity next. My reflection looked slightly less horrible than it did in the elevator. Surprisingly. I grabbed a scrunchie and gathered my curls together, twisting them into a messy bun on top of my head. A few strands of hair fell around my face, but I didn’t care. They could stay.

I grabbed my phone again before snatching my keys off the nightstand.

“Okay…” I murmured, looking around. “Phone, keys, clothes, shoes.”

I had everything. Hopefully.

I rushed back into the hallway and headed for the elevator. The doors opened quickly when I tapped the button. But instead of going back to the lobby, I hit the button for the parking garage.

As the doors closed, I looked down at my phone. 9:04.

“Oh my Moon.”

I tapped my foot against the floor. Late… Late… Late… I hated being late. More than that, I hated putting myself in this position. Again.

Because it wasn’t just about being late to a meeting with my academic advisor. I shouldn’t have needed the meeting in the first place. If I had just gone to class, I wouldn’t be here. If I had listened more, studied harder, or even turned in my assignments.

If I had actually opened half the textbooks sitting on my desk instead of staring at them and promising myself I’d do it tomorrow. None of this would’ve happened.

It wasn’t like I didn’t know what I needed to do. That was the worst part. I knew. Every night, I’d tell myself tomorrow would be different. I’d wake up, go to class, take notes, come home, and study. I’d catch up and fix everything.

Sometimes, I’d believe my own promises. Then morning came, and I just… couldn’t. There wasn’t another way to explain it. I couldn’t.

I’d lie in bed, staring at the ceiling, knowing I needed to get up. Knowing exactly how much worse I was making everything with every passing minute. But getting dressed felt exhausting. The thought of driving to TRU felt worse.

Then I’d think about sitting through lectures and pretending I cared about market analysis or organizational management or whatever else they wanted me to learn that day. Just thinking about it made me feel so empty. Like someone had reached inside and pulled out every bit of energy I had managed to scrape together.

So I’d stay in bed. Or go swimming. Or drive somewhere—anything except the thing I was supposed to be doing. Then I’d hate myself for it afterward. Which should’ve made me do better the next time. It never did…

The elevator continued downward. I stared at the changing numbers above the door, then looked down at my phone.

9:05.

“Come on!”

The elevator finally dinged, and I was out before the doors fully opened. I hurried across the parking garage, toward my car. It wasn’t anything fancy—just a newer, dark gray four-door sedan. Dad had helped me pick it out a couple of years ago. Well, helped was probably generous.

I had picked out a few cars I liked. Dad looked at their safety ratings, then I picked out a few more. Eventually, we found one that passed whatever list of requirements he made. Blind spot monitoring, automatic emergency braking, all-wheel drive, and absolutely nothing that Dad considered unnecessarily fast or big.

I had pointed out more than once that being a wolf shifter made me a little harder to kill than the average person. But that didn’t matter.

I got behind the wheel, closing my door with a loud slam. Then, I pressed my foot against the brake and hit the start button. Once it was on, I shifted the car into reverse.

Careful, Zahra warned.

I know, I scowled.

I backed out of the space and headed for the exit. A few minutes later, Storme Towers disappeared behind me as I made my way across Thunder Ridge. Thankfully, traffic wasn’t terrible. Still, every red light that stopped me only added to my anxiety.

I tapped my fingers against the steering wheel as I headed toward the West Rail district, checking the clock more times than I needed to. 9:12. 9:16. 9:21.

By the time the university came into view, I was gripping the wheel hard enough that my whole hand hurt. I turned onto campus and headed straight for the business building. And of course, there weren’t any parking spots near the entrance.

“Seriously?”

I drove farther down the row, only to find nothing. The next one wasn’t any better. Finally, a car backed out several spaces ahead of me.

“Oh, thank the Moon!”

I pulled in before anyone else could steal it. The clock on my dash read 9:28. Twenty-three minutes. I had made it across Thunder Ridge in twenty-three minutes. Dad would probably have questions about that if he knew. But I wasn’t planning on telling him.

The second I was out of my car, I started running again. When I reached the business building, my heart was pounding once more—though for an entirely different reason now.

I opened the door and hurried inside. Professor Patton’s office was on the second floor, but I couldn’t wait for an elevator. I took the stairs two at a time, one hand gripping the railing as I practically dragged myself up them.

I rushed down the hallway, cursing internally that the office was at the end. Finally, I pushed through the open doorway and stepped into a small office attached to the front, where her assistant worked.

The young woman behind the desk jumped.

“Oh!”

“Sorry.” I grabbed the edge of the doorframe. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to—”

She put a hand against her chest while the other waved me off.

“It’s all right, Miss Freya.”

I glanced toward the closed door behind her.

“Is Professor Patton still—”

“She’s waiting for you.” The woman said, gesturing toward the door. “You can go right in.”

“Oh. Okay. Thank you.”

I went across the small office before stopping myself. My academic advisor probably wouldn’t appreciate me bursting into her office, too. So, I knocked.

“Come in.”

I opened the door, noticing the professor sitting behind her desk, looking at something on her computer. She was somewhere in her late fifties, maybe early sixties. Her graying hair was cut just above her shoulders, and a pair of glasses rested low on her nose as she read whatever was on the screen.

I closed the door behind me, causing her to finally look at me.

“Miss Freya,” she smiled. Kind of. It wasn’t exactly warm.

“Professor,” I greeted. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to be this late. I went swimming this morning, and lost track of time, and then I saw what time it was and—”

I stopped, because none of that made me sound any better.

“Sorry,” I repeated softly.

Professor Patton motioned toward the chair across from her desk.

“Have a seat.”

I sat down, watching as she leaned back in her chair. For a few seconds, she didn’t say anything. That was somehow worse than if she had started yelling.

“I had hoped,” she finally said. “That you would place a little more importance on our meeting this morning.”

“I know,” I murmured as my cheeks heated up.

“Especially considering what we need to discuss.”

I looked down at my hands as she continued.

“The university is reaching the end of its patience, Miss Freya.”

I swallowed. Her voice wasn’t harsh, nor did she sound angry. If anything, she sounded tired.

“Your professors have been very accommodating. We’ve adjusted deadlines. You’ve been given opportunities to make up missed assignments. Several professors have offered extra credit. We’ve arranged tutoring.”

“I know,” I whispered.

“And yet, your grades have continued to fall.”

My fingers twisted together as she let out a heavy sigh.

“At this point, it wouldn’t take much for the university to move forward with dismissal.”

There it was. The word I had been waiting for. Dismissal. Expelled sounded worse. But they meant the same thing.

I continued staring down at my hands. What was I supposed to say? Sorry? I had said that before. I’d do better? Said that too. I promise? There wasn’t much point in promising something when I wasn’t sure I could actually do it.

Professor Patton was quiet for a moment before speaking again.

“I would hate to see that happen.” I looked up as she removed her glasses. “You’re a Storme. Your family has been part of Thunder Ridge University for generations. Your parents attended this university. Your grandparents. And so on.”

I nodded because I knew. Everyone knew.

“You’re the sixth generation of the Storme family to attend TRU, and the sixth to enter our business program.”

My shoulders felt heavier with every word. But Professor Patton didn’t seem to notice as she smiled at me.

“There is a great deal of pride in that history.”

Maybe for everyone else. For me, it felt like another weight someone had tied around my neck.

“It would be unfortunate for that legacy to end with us dismissing the daughter of our Alpha and Luna because of her GPA.”

My chest tightened at that. She probably meant for her words to make me feel better. But it didn’t. A Storme didn’t fail out of TRU. A Storme definitely didn’t fail out of the business program.

I rubbed my thumb against the side of my finger.

“So, what can we do?” The Professor asked as she leaned forward.

“What?” I questioned, looking up at her.

“What can the university do to help you succeed?”

My mouth opened, but nothing came out.

“Do you need additional tutoring?”

I shook my head slightly. We already tried that.

“More time on exams?”

“I don’t think so,” I murmured.

“Would it help if we moved some of your courses online? You wouldn’t have to come to campus as frequently. And you could complete more of the work from home.”

Maybe. But probably not. I had taken an online class before. It had been even easier to ignore it, though.

“I don’t know.”

The professor stared at me for a long minute.

“Is the coursework too difficult?”

“No.”

That answer came quickly, because it wasn’t. That would’ve almost been easier. I understood most of the material when I actually sat down and did it. Tutors had helped. My professors had helped. I had been given extra credit, extensions, study guides, everything. There wasn’t some missing resource that would suddenly fix me.

The problem was me.

“I just…” But I stopped.

Professor Patton waited, yet all I could do was stare at the edge of her desk. How was I supposed to explain something I didn’t understand myself?

“I don’t know,” I whispered quietly. “I don’t know what I need.”

There. That was the truth. I didn’t know.

I didn’t know why I could stare at an assignment for an hour and never start it. I didn’t know why getting out of bed for class sometimes felt harder than running ten miles through the woods. I didn’t know why I’d sit in a lecture and listen to every word the professor said, only to realize afterward that I hadn’t retained any of it.

I didn’t know why I couldn’t just do it. Everyone kept giving me ways to succeed. And I kept finding ways not to.

Professor Patton leaned back in her chair as the silence stretched between us. Eventually, she sighed.

“All right. How about this?”

I looked up, waiting for her to continue.

“My office hours are Monday through Thursday in the afternoons. Why don’t you start coming here?”

“Here?” I frowned.

“Here.” She nodded. “Bring your assignments. Bring whatever you’re struggling with that week. We can go through the material together. I can help you prepare for your exams, and we can make sure you’re keeping up with your coursework.”

My stomach sank at the thought of coming here four afternoons a week. But the professor must’ve seen something on my face.

“You don’t have to come every day,” she added quickly. “Two afternoons a week to start. We can adjust from there.”

That was better… probably.

“And this wouldn’t be permanent,” she continued. “Just until you’re more comfortable with your classes and your grades have stabilized.”

“Okay,” I nodded slowly.

Professor Patton raised an eyebrow.

“Okay?”

“Yeah.” I nodded again. “I can do that.”

At least, I hoped I could. The idea of adding two more things onto my schedule didn’t exactly sound like a solution. But what else was I supposed to say? No? This woman was offering to spend hours of her own time helping me. She didn’t have to do that. None of my professors had to do half of what they had already done.

“Thank you,” I said. “Really.”

The professor’s expression softened.

“You’re welcome.”

I looked down at my hands again. Another chance. That’s what she had given me—another chance to fix everything. I should’ve felt relieved. Instead, all I could think about was how many chances I had already wasted.