1.| Back to Reality
∙☾“W-Wolfy!” River heard her last name being called. It was funny how she had never truly considered it before. Her last name, Wolfy, seemed quite ridiculous, she thought. It almost made her laugh, but she swallowed it down along with the tears and anger she’d been holding back.
Her wolf spirit was still present. In fact, her instincts felt stronger than ever. Her wolf was a part of her, just like Orock was. Thinking about him, Orock, made her lips quiver. River missed him so much it felt as if her insides were being torn apart. She could still feel his warmth, the beat of his heart in her veins, in her blood, so strong and close to her soul that it was the only comfort she had; knowing that he was still alive.
She didn't understand why.
Why had he done it?
Why hadn't he told her the truth about what he was going to do?
The amulet was gone. He had taken it; the key to Ælrwenor.
Didn't he love her as she loved him?
Had she misread him?
She wasn't sure anymore.
The last time she saw her family was at breakfast the day after their return from the mountains, which felt like the last, as everyone was quiet.
There was no warning.
Back then, she just thought she was nervous, as the night was the night of the Long Night Moon. It was supposed to be their night; their mating ceremony. She was supposed to be recognised as Queen of Noran and Orock’s mate, but instead, he betrayed her.
That morning, she felt the energy in the air—the pressure of the full moon and the power surging through her veins. It was the energy, the strength she possessed, and she didn't yet understand how to control it.
The energy, the wisdom within her, that Serena, the high priestess of Orra, had given her before she died at Bellissa's hand. It was the knowledge, the same power Bellissa and Addanree sought to possess. The knowledge her mother, Clara, had promised she would teach her to understand.
Her story began with the amulet and ended without it. But this time, her memories were clear, not clouded by a spell as before—a spell Serena, the high priestess of Orra, cast upon her while she was still in her mother's womb, protecting her from those who desired it for themselves.
River still recalls the bright, blinding light when she closes her eyes. His betrayal came when he opened the gate and pushed her through it.
She remembers the noise, the groaning forest, the howling wind, the animals weeping as the portal vanished on the other side, and his handsome face gradually shifting into a beast. She ran to catch the last glimpse of light, clawing at the wall, screaming and shouting, desperate to return to where she belonged, beside him.
The wails from the other side gradually faded as the tiny crack in the wall closed, leaving her with only the fading mark on her neck and a red ribbon in her hand that suddenly felt far too heavy to hold.
“Riv! Wolfy, are you coming with us?”
“No,” she replied softly, almost mechanically, and shook her head.
“Not today. I still need to catch up on my work. Maybe tomorrow,” she said, turning into the kitchen to heat her leftovers from last night. She wasn't even hungry, but she forced herself to eat, refusing to waste away with grief as she was determined to find her way back.
She told a little white lie. All her work was done. In fact, she asked her manager for more, to dull her mind and forget the pain she felt even in her dreams. She didn't want to be pitied and told that time would heal it all, but no one would understand if she told the whole truth. What was actually on her mind, in fact, she knew for sure they would think she was mad.
In her dreams, she was back in that forest, with its dreamlike setting and the lake, their lake. She called for him every night since she came back from Ælrwenor, but he never answered, never came or swam through the murky depths of the river as he had before.
“Let her be, Lily,” she heard Emily, one of her colleagues, say. “She’s still grieving her aunt.”
Was I grieving her?
Yeah, kind of.
Because everything that happened two weeks ago involved her, yes, just two weeks passed in a land of men.
The truth is, what everyone believes is that Clara, my aunt, my mother, passed away a month ago in a car accident. But in reality, she lived beside Nicodem, my father, in Ælrwenor — a land hidden from humans, and those who possess a key and knowledge of a spell can enter and open a gate.
Just a few days after her funeral, I found my mother’s hidden notebook with spells written in an ancient witch language, but the notebook was gone. I looked everywhere for it, turning the house upside down, but it was nowhere to be found. It had vanished with everything I loved during those past few days. As if he weren't real himself and I was back in Bellissa’s nightmare.
Every time River doubted herself, she looked at the red ribbon she had taken off the headboard made of deer antlers just before she left their room for the long house that night of their ceremony. Every time her mind ran to the fact that he had betrayed her, a piece of her grew wilder and angrier. She wanted to know why he had done it.
River closed her eyes as she pressed the start button on the microwave, a lonely tear slipping from the corner of her eye. Her mate, her king. She loved him and hated him at the same time.
The one good memory she kept replaying in her mind. She remembered the way he laughed when the bed gave way beneath them in that tiny cabin in the middle of nowhere.
They heard a crack as one of the legs gave up while they made love rather too vigorously, then the second straight after. His laugh was a rich, gravelly, thick laugh that crinkled the corners of his eyes. His whole body shook as he held her tight in his arms as they tumbled onto the hard floor, laughing, and then he began to tickle her. She tried to squirm free and squealed like a child when he found her ticklish spot, laughing as she tried to wrestle him and repay his unfair victory.
Their night in the cabin didn't stop there after the legs of the bed gave up. Orock kept making her come again and again until she was begging him to stop. His excuse was to erase every bad thought from her mind, and he did as Bellissa wicket spell and Jemie was a distant memory.
That night, the mark on each neck brought them even closer together, almost as if they had known each other for years instead of just a week or two, and the secret that Serena had hidden wasn't just hers anymore. They both shared her gift, as they were one soul, a bond that wasn't just deep, but a longing. A gift she still had to discover for herself, a learning journey to become a queen the fate had prepared for her, a journey without Orock, her mate.
