Chapter 1
'It's going to rain again'
Maya thought as she looked out the window of the car. She sighed softly for the upteenth time today.
The weather definitely was doing a number on her.
She felt like.... a mess. She knew she looked like one but that was the least of her worries.
She looked away from the window. The motion was making her nauseous. Her eyes had nowhere to go except the little infant nestled in her arms wrapped in swaddling clothes.
Finally asleep after torturing her all night long.
She didn't blame her daughter. After all she was just a week old.
She is eternally be at fault. Has been and will always be.
Her heart leapt when she stirred. Her breath paused like it was going to help anything. The baby was still asleep. She slowly let out a breath.
More than anyone she knew PPD will have a field day with her if it hasn't even started already.
She leaned her head back and closed her eyes. Her phone dinged making her open her eyes. Very carefully she reached for her phone inside her purse.
Scrolling through her phone made her feel sick. Both physically and emotionally. Despite deleting her social media pages she was still constantly reminded of just how ridiculous her life was.
Opening a chat she saw a screenshot. One that made her cry days ago and still made her eyes water till now.
Still...
It didn't stop her from going to the social page. Again.
There it was.
Party, party, party, outing, friends, girls.
Indeed. This was the father of her child.
Chase Michaelson.
Her mind drifted to weeks ago when he'd passionately told her how he'd be away for the game season and wouldn't have time.
"Can't you at least just take an out? Just two days? No one" Maya looked at her boyfriend pleadingly. Heavily pregnant but had to bear the news that her boyfriend will not be available during her period of labour.
Chase held her shoulders. "Try and understand Maya. You know how much we worked for this. Not just me you too." His voice maddeningly soothing and assuring. "Now I'm finally in the NFL do you really want me to flop things? Hmm"
"You don't want that do you?" He had said. "For our baby" Smiling softly at her though his gaze said something different.
And just like she's always been she compromised. She nodded. Like the doormat she's always been. She hoped he was being truthful. Perhaps he had changed.
But it all came crumbled down when she was in the hospital looking at this same page.
Even the next day after she gave birth. 12 hours in pain with absolutely no one aside the doctor and nurses to support her.
Maya left a huff.
She didn't even know if she felt bad that he went about messing around while she was giving birth to his daughter or the fact that he did it to her face. Posting it on his socials.
The past few weeks have made her seen just how shitty her life truly has been.
Almost everything she has been chasing for yeah turned out to be useless.
It hits harder when one finds that out mid labour.
And now....
She looked at the child in her arms.
A myriad of emotion flooding through her being and she didn't know who to direct it to but herself. It felt like she might just implode on herself.
Her phone chimed again and again repeatedly.
you're the strongest lady I know Maya. I swear.
I'm so proud of you boo.
I promise to come check up on you when I'm in town.
Stay strong alright. Just know I'm here for you.
From Claire.
Maya stared at her phone and smiled softly despite herself.
At least not everything about her life was shitty. At least not every decision she has made was a mistake. She thought.
Her hand hovered a little as if wanting to type back but she put it back on her baby.
She leaned her head back and closed her eyes.
Right now she didn't know what next. She will just take a step at a time.
