"The Fall"
I never thought my life would turn out like this.
I've always been the kind of girl who loves freedom. I like laughing, being happy, living without too many worries. At least, that's who I thought I was.
But life had other plans.
Even when things started falling apart, I kept telling myself I would be okay.
The truth?
I never was.
And I don't think I ever will be.
"Mommy."
I almost jumped when I felt a tiny hand tapping my leg.
I looked down and saw the only reason I'm still trying so hard not to fall apart.
A pair of sea blue eyes looked up at me. I couldn't stop the small smile that spread across my face.
I bent down until we were at the same eye level.
"Hi, Daisy. Do you need something?" I asked gently.
No matter how sad I feel, I can't help smiling when I look at my daughter.
"Can I use your phone to watch Barbie?" she asked, her eyes pleading.
"Of course, angel," I said, using the nickname I always call her when she's being especially cute.
What did I do to deserve such an adorable child?
"Thank you, Mommy." She smiled. "Can I stay in the kitchen too?"
She pointed at the counter.
She always likes sitting on the kitchen counter while I cook.
"Of course you can."
I lifted her up and carefully placed her on the counter before handing her my phone.
She immediately started searching for Barbie videos.
I went back to stirring the pasta on the stove. It's Nick's favorite meal.
Tonight, I don't want to argue. I don't want to do anything that might upset him.
The sound of the doorbell cut through my thoughts.
My stomach tightened instantly.
Nick.
He's the only one who comes home this late.
I lowered the flame on the stove and quickly walked to the door before opening it.
"Why did you take so long?" he shouted immediately.
The strong smell of alcohol hit me the moment he spoke. I almost gagged, but I forced myself to stay calm.
His eyes were red.
That look in his eyes again.
"I...I was cooking dinner," I stuttered. "It's pasta. Your fav-"
Smack.
The sound echoed before I even realized what had happened.
My hand flew to my cheek as the stinging pain spread across my face.
I stared at him in shock.
Not because he slapped me.
But because I didn't know what I had done wrong this time.
"Who the hell cares about what you cooked?" he shouted.
His voice was so loud I was sure the neighbors could hear him.
"I thought you liked pasta," I whispered. "I'm sorry."
He hissed and shoved past me into the house.
Then I heard his voice again from the kitchen.
"How many times did I tell you I don't want to see you on my counter?! You and that wretched mother of yours!"
My heart dropped.
Daisy.
I ran into the kitchen.
Nick was standing in front of the counter, yelling.
Daisy sat there with her small hands covering her ears, just like I had taught her to do whenever he started shouting.
But this time she was shaking.
I rushed forward and pushed past him.
"Daisy," I said softly, lifting her chin so she could look at me. "Hey, baby. Look at Mommy. Are you okay?"
She lowered her head again.
"Daisy?" My chest tightened. "Baby, can you hear me?"
She didn't answer.
Panic started crawling through my body.
I turned toward Nick.
"NICK!" I shouted before I could stop myself. "What did you do to my child?!"
He looked at me slowly.
"Are you shouting at me?"
For a moment, anger burned through me.
But Daisy needs me calm.
I took a deep breath.
"Please, Nick," I said quietly. "What happened to her?"
Instead of answering, he stepped closer.
Every instinct told me to step back.
But I stayed where I was.
Then his hand suddenly grabbed my hair.
"Ah!" I screamed as pain shot through my scalp.
"Nick! Leave me alone!"
He only tightened his grip.
"You think you can talk to me like that?" he said coldly. "Who do you think you are, woman?"
He shoved me away.
I stumbled backward.
Then I heard Daisy's tiny voice scream.
"Mommy!"
My heart stopped.
Behind me was the glass table.
I tried to steady myself before I fell into it.
And then I heard another sound.
Thud.
My stomach dropped.
I turned toward the sound.
Daisy was on the floor.
My baby.
She must have tried to climb down from the counter to come to me.
"Daisy!"
I rushed to her and pulled her into my arms.
"No, no, no... Daisy, are you okay? Mommy's here."
Tears streamed down my face as I held her small face in my hands.
"Mommy... I'm okay," she whispered. "I just fell."
But tears were still sliding down her cheeks.
And somehow that scared me even more.
I carried her toward my room to give her her medicine, but Nick stopped me again.
"Nick, please let me go. I need to give her her medicine," I said, pleading. I was tired and exhausted, and I couldn't fight anymore, not after I almost lost my daughter.
"I..." he started to say something, but he stopped when his phone began vibrating in his pocket. He walked away to answer it, but not before saying, "I'll deal with you later."
I silently thanked God and hurried to my room. I pushed the door open with my leg and gently placed Daisy on my bed, noticing that she had already fallen asleep.
I sat beside her, staring at her small face as tears rolled down my cheeks.
"I'm... sorry," I whispered.
She shouldn't have to face this at such a young age.
I'm such a terrible mother.
I can't even protect my own child.
Daisy shifted slightly in her sleep, her small hand gripping my shirt.
As if she was afraid I might disappear.
