It Ends With Me

IT ENDS WITH ME

Chapter 1 – My Breaking Point

There’s a different kind of pain that comes from your own mother.

Not the kind you can explain easy.

Not the kind people understand when you try to say it out loud.

The kind that makes you question yourself.

Because how do you accept that the person who gave you life… could also try to take it?

Ha. Have your mom ever tried to take you out because she hated you that much?

Who needs enemies when your mom is the main one?

How fucked up is that, right?

I remember the moment she tried to hurt me for real.

Not just words. Not just anger.

Something in me broke that day.

But what hurts even more than that memory… is the fact that I still loved her after it.

I stayed.

I looked past what everybody else saw.

The judgment. The warnings. The looks people would give me like, “Why are you still around her?”

Because that was my mom.

And I wanted so bad to believe there was still good in her.

I held onto every little piece of it.

Even when it hurt me.

Even when she made it clear she didn’t like me.

Not love me the way a mother should—but like me as a person.

She would say it.

Straight up.

“I don’t like you.”

And that sticks with you in a way nothing else does.

You start wondering what’s wrong with you.

What you did to deserve that from your own mother.

But today was different.

Today, she put her hands on me in front of my son.

And something in me just… stopped.

I didn’t hit her back.

Not because I couldn’t.

But because I’m not her.

And I refuse to let my son grow up watching me become the same kind of pain I came from.

That was the moment I chose something different.

I chose me.

I chose my peace.

I chose to break something that’s been hurting me my whole life.

So I blocked her.

And this time… it’s not temporary.

It’s not “we’ll fix it later.”

I’m done.

Because love should not feel like survival.

And I’m tired of surviving her.

But this isn’t just about one day… it’s been my whole life.

Chapter 2 – The Sad Truth

…

And the truth is…

Having a mother who chooses drugs over loving you—over choosing you—

is a pain I wouldn’t wish on anybody.

Because no matter how strong you try to be…

there’s still a part of you that just wanted your mom.

Chapter 3 – The Day I Choose Me

…

This is for me.

This is for my son.

And this time—I mean it.

To his dad… thank you.

Even if it came in a way that hurt, it pushed me.

But this decision? This was mine.

And I’m standing on it.

To everyone who met my son… I hope you’re glad you did.

Because access to us is no longer guaranteed.

I’m closing this chapter with love.

No hate in my heart.

No revenge.

Just distance.

And peace.

To the girl I once loved…

My love was real.

From 15 to 24, that never changed.

Even when I was hurting.

Even when I was going through things I didn’t understand, like postpartum…

I still tried to love you the best way I knew how.

And I don’t carry bad blood.

Just truth.

Chapter 4 – Protecting My Son

Everything I’ve done up to this point… it wasn’t just for me.

It was for him.

My son.

He doesn’t deserve the chaos I grew up in.

He doesn’t deserve the people who hurt you for no reason.

He doesn’t deserve the love that comes with strings attached… or fear.

And I will make damn sure he never has to.

I’ll protect him.

I’ll love him.

I’ll fight for him.

Even when it’s hard.

Even when it hurts.

Because that’s what mothers do.

Real mothers.

Not the ones who leave scars and call it normal.

This is our life.

Our peace.

Our story.

And anyone who disturbs it?

I block. I cut off. I don’t apologize.

I’m done being hurt for other people’s choices.

Chapter 5 – The Cycle Ends

The cycle ends with me.

I won’t pass it on.

I won’t let history repeat itself.

I am choosing love.

I am choosing peace.

I am choosing me… and him.

I am raw.

I am honest.

I am standing.

And I will not let the past define us.

We are our own people now.

Our own family.

Everything I do… it’s for him.

Everything I am… it’s for us.

And this time…

It ends with me.

Baby boy, it’s us now.

Like I tell you all the time—let’s rock out.

I got you like no other.

I’m making you a promise, and I’m standing on it—

I will protect you.

I will love you.

I will be there when you need me.

You will never have to question if you’re wanted.

You will never have to beg for love.

When you need me… come to me.

And always go to God first.

I’m not perfect.

But I pray for us like everything depends on it.

Me and you… we’re covered.

Everything I’m doing… is for you.

And this cycle?

It ends with me.

By : Da’Rionna ❤️