#YouMatter

The persistent ring of the alarm reverberated through the room, an insistent melody that clashed with the dreamscape enveloping him. In the ethereal realm of slumber, he found himself seated alongside a tranquil river, earbuds nestled snugly, only to be confounded by the dissonance that invaded his auditory sanctuary. Puzzled, he questioned the very fabric of reality: “Could it be that this is but a dream, and the disconcerting alarm is the jarring chorus, disrupting the symphony of my subconscious?”

On the inaugural day of his job, the hands of the clock had conspired against him, rendering him fashionably late. As he hastily navigated the labyrinth of his morning routine, frustration boiled over, finding its outlet in an accusatory tone directed at his mother.

“Why didn’t you wake me, Maa?” he grumbled, the scowl etching lines on his face as he meticulously ironed his cherished shirt.

With a bemused glint in her eyes, his mother retorted, “And why can’t you iron your clothes in advance?”

A sense of urgency gripped him; tardiness was not an option on this crucial day. Determined to reclaim lost time, he opted for a modern solution.

“I cannot afford to be late today. I’ll book a cab,” he declared.

With a few taps on his phone, a digital chariot was summoned, its Estimated Time of Arrival a ticking countdown, offering him a slender window of 22 minutes to metamorphose into professional punctuality.

Today marked the inauguration of Saad’s journey into the world of psychiatry, a realm he had long yearned to explore. While his peers engaged in the boisterous echoes of lunchtime cricket, Saad found solace in the company of his teachers, absorbing their tales of tribulations. A masterful listener from a tender age, he recognized the profound power of being heard.

The commencement of his first day unveiled a rendezvous with destiny. The summons beckoned him to the enigmatic Room 303 at the stroke of 10:00 AM. Unfamiliar with the labyrinthine layout, Saad opted for the stairs, tracing an ascendant path to his destination, guided solely by the fervor of his ambition.

He knocked “May I come in?”

There were already 2 more newbies and one doctor who was briefing them about their roles and things.

“Please come in, have a seat.” Doctor M.S. Tyagi said and continued “..So as I was saying, You have been assigned to three different doctors, you’ll be assisting them.”

“Is it necessary?, I mean, we have been already trained in our college...” Meenakshi questioned. Meenakshi is one of these three new joiners.

“Being a psychiatrist is a responsibility that might be sounding easy but trust me it’s not, so you’ll be assisting doctors for a couple of weeks, after that you can practice on your own.” Dr. Tyagi replied.

“Is there some mantra we should always follow?” Saad asked.

“I have already discussed it with Robin and Meenakshi, you missed it, anyways, the most important of rules is rule number 4 that is ‘DO NOT GET INVESTED TOO MUCH WITH THE PATEINT OR YOU’LL END UP BEING ONE’”. Dr. Tyagi replied.

“...and what are rule no 1, 2 and 3?” Saad inquired.

“To know that, you have to build a time machine..” Dr. Tyagi taunted.

And then Someone knocked on the door, it was Nurse shalini, now it was shalini’s responsibility to show them their working area, and floor on which they will work, handing over the keys of locker room and introducing them to their respective doctors, and briefing them about rules and regulations of the hospital.

This floor is a bustling hub of healing, orchestrated by a dynamic trio of doctors: the empathetic Dr. Sara Khan, the astute Dr. Nikita Grover, and the seasoned Dr. Sahil Sharma. Within its confines, a symphony of care unfolds.

The array of patient-centric spaces includes three counseling rooms, each a haven for therapeutic conversations and compassionate consultations. Here, the doctors weave their expertise into personalized treatment plans, fostering an environment of support and understanding.

A communal work area serves as the beating heart of collaboration, accommodating the collective wisdom of 8-10 doctors. In this shared space, medical minds converge, exchanging insights and collectively advancing the frontiers of healthcare.

Nestled within this tapestry of healing is the staff room, a sanctuary where moments of respite unfold. With a pantry at its core, it becomes a place for doctors to rejuvenate, sharing 7 camaraderie over a cup of coffee, fortifying themselves for the challenges and triumphs that await beyond its doors. In this vibrant ecosystem, the team synergizes to create a haven of health and well-being.

Saad was assigned to Dr. Sara, Meenakshi to Dr. Nikita, and Robin to Dr. Sahil Shrama.

In the midst of Dr. Nikita’s earnest briefing on recent cases, a disquieting interruption echoed through the air. The resonance emanated from the precincts of room 301, injecting an air of urgency into the proceedings. A commanding announcement cut through the ambient hum, singling out Dr. Sara Khan with an imperative summons.

“Dr. Sara, please come to room 301. The patient is experiencing an attack.”

The urgency hung in the air like a palpable force, jolting Dr. Sara into immediate action. Without hesitation, she surged towards the source of distress, her footsteps a cadence of determination. In her wake, Saad, propelled by a shared commitment to healing, trailed behind, ready to lend support in the face of medical exigency.

A young man, scarcely beyond the age of 20, found himself ensnared in a tumult of emotions, his cries and shouts intermingling in a cacophony of distress. Two dedicated nurses grappled with the challenging task of restraining him, their compassionate efforts aimed at quelling the storm within. His anguish manifested in aggressive self-infliction, a heartbreaking spectacle that demanded urgent intervention.

As the tableau of chaos unfolded, Dr. Sara Khan emerged as a steady hand amidst the turbulence. With a firm resolve, she administered a calming injection, a tranquilizer aimed at silencing the tempest raging within the young man. In the span of a minute, the frenetic energy surrendered to the soothing effects of the medication, and his tumultuous cries subsided. He closed his eyes, the storm abated.

With a nod to the nurses, Dr. Sara assumed the role of vigilant guardian, requesting them to leave as she pledged to keep a watchful eye on her patient for the next few minutes. In the wake of the episode, curiosity bubbled within Saad, prompting him to seek understanding. “What happened with him?” he inquired, his eyes reflecting a mix of concern and intrigue.

Sara looked at Saad, and sighed “...He is yogesh....and..” his story started unfolding.

Yogesh was sitting with his mother while she was getting ready for his 6th birthday party, He was observing his mother, how she is wearing this beautiful necklace, and then she started wearing bangles, yellow with white, they were beautiful, He took a bangle from the table and wore it, but it was just one so he took another, then one more in other hand, he was so happy, he said to his mother ‘Mumma look, I am looking beautiful like you..’ 8 She laughed ‘aww, my baby..’ and she kissed on his cheek while removing bangles from his hand ‘Beta, you are a boy, boys don’t wear bangles..’ ‘But I want to mumma..’ She laughed..and ignored.

When yogesh was 12 year old, he was sitting in the classroom with his friend, Teacher was lecturing about some topic on biology, when his friend took his hand and placed it over his crotch.

Yogesh murmured ‘are you mad?’ and took his hand back but he forced to touch him at the crotch area while his penis was getting hard. Yogesh’s heartbeat started racing and his hand started shaking, he was too scared and excited at the same time, he wanted to feel it but he was pretending he doesn’t want to but he couldn’t help it, and started feeling his friend’s hard penis.

His friend opened his zip and asked yogesh to touch it but yogesh was scared so he took his hand back ‘What is happening at back?’ Teacher shouted. They both stopped it but it was last period before lunch, when lunch started yogesh’s friend asked him to go washroom with him.

They went washroom, there was no one when his friend asked yogesh to come inside the stall, yogesh went inside, they locked the door of stall from inside. His friend removed his own pant, his penis was hard, it was first time yogesh saw it, his friend asked yogesh to put it in his mouth. Yogesh could listen his own heartbeat and he couldn’t even touch it, he was scared. His friend forced him to remove his pant and asked him to stand in a position where his friend can put his penis inside yogesh. Yogesh could feel adrenaline rush into his bloodstream, he wanted to run but he wanted to feel it too, before he could do anything someone knocked at the stall ‘Come outside yogesh and rahul, what are you both doing in the same stall?’ They were caught by a teacher, someone from the class heard their talks while using another stall, he complained to a teacher.

Their parents were called, Yogesh’s father was not in the city at the moment, he used to live in another city due to his job. His mother was called in the meeting, where principle warned her if it happens again, they both will be rusticated from the school.

She knew everything about his son but she didn’t want to believe it, after this incident, Yogesh tried to tell his mother how he feels about his body, but she won’t listen. She forced him to join school cricket team, he was not allowed to go into kitchen anymore or cook anything, He was forced to join Gym early so that he can gain some muscle and can look more manly.

Yogesh wanted to learn dance but she didn’t let him join classes, when he was 18, he took part in a play of his college where he was cast as female lead, he wore a saree and a wig, he 9 wore makeup like a girl, he wore jewelry, it was first time when he was trying but somehow he was feeling more comfortable in it as if it’s more natural than other. When he was onstage, He was the only character everyone was talking about, his dance and his skills were outstanding. He was more confident today then ever as if he is meant to be this, He wanted to be that way but he can’t....”

“Can you imagine, how difficult it would be for him to pretend what he is not? I mean I cannot even pretend to like coffee if it’s bad, and he was pretending to be someone else for so many years so that his parents can accept him...” Sara said.

Saad was just listening while sitting on the chair besides yogesh. ’..In the college he got some friends, some people around with he was comfortable, he started dating too but at the end of the day, he was always full of guilt as if he is doing something wrong, and he has to hide it.

On one exciting day, his parents were out of station in a marriage function while he was alone for two days, he wanted to make these both days count, he made a plan to go in a gay party with his friends, he wore a black dress he got from his friend, he wore red lipstick, maroon eyeshadow, a wig with some blonde but mostly black color and a heel.

It was the first time when he was himself and walking freely without any fear, he had no idea till now that how confident he is when he is not pretending.

After the party, he reached home, he unlocked the door from outside, and he was shocked, his parents and one of his father’s friend were sitting on the couch, having some snacks and talking about how they have to leave early due to some issues at the venue.

to be continued..