The Love Equation

Ella

Ella stepped out of the dreary windowless lecture hall and into the sunlight. She paused to shield her tired eyes from the brightness as her fellow students poured out of the building. The two-hour-long gruelling lecture on intercultural communication had tested her tired brain. Professor Richter had droned on about verbal and non-verbal elements of different cultural values, and their context. She’d struggled to comprehend the endless slides, all of which looked the same. Her eyelids often threatened to shut as she almost nodded off.

Along with the roughly a hundred and fifty bored-looking students, she struggled to keep up with taking notes. She preferred her old Samsung tablet to her equally ancient laptop, whose loud keyboard would surely distract those around her. But she couldn’t afford to upgrade either just yet.

Ella didn’t understand the excited chatter of her fellow students filling the open courtyard. While the rest looked invigorated, she was already struggling to stay awake.

Between paying bills, rent, and tuition, there weren’t enough hours in the day to do it all, let alone enjoy what were meant to be the best years of her life. Juggling her responsibilties—two jobs, her classes, and a relationship—turned out to be tougher than she’d imagined, but she had no choice.

Luckily Jason, her boyfriend, never gave her grief for spending less time with him since she’d started college. Several years her senior, he worked and took care of the greatest portion of their rent and utilities. She thanked her stars for him being so supportive which only made her appreciate him more.

Shifting her bag higher up her shoulder she crossed the small lane running from one end of the campus to the other when her tablet chimed inside of her teddy tote.

She stopped in her tracks. Had the sound been on this entire time? Thank God she didn’t receive any messages during class. She fished the device out of her bag and unlocked it. She smiled. Jason had borrowed the tablet last night when his phone had run out of battery. He must’ve forgotten to log out of his accounts. To respect his privacy, she decided to do so.

When she opened the messaging app, a barrage of messages came through. She couldn’t help but glance at them. The name on the active chat was unfamiliar.

Sarah.

Ella’s finger moved faster than her conscience. Out of curiosity, she tapped to open the conversation.

At first, what she saw made no sense.

Miss U, followed by two heart emojis.

Can you sneak out tonight?

I can’t believe she bought the excuse of going to your cousin’s.

She scrolled back further.

I can still smell your cologne on my sheets.

Then an image of a scantily-clad woman in a black lacy bra.

Ella’s breath caught as it dawned on her what the messages meant. Her heart thudded loudly as she kept scrolling, until her stomach dropped. She gripped the tablet tightly, afraid she might let it slip. A message from Jason floored her.

Can’t talk now. I’m with Ella.

Her eyes burned, but she refused to fall apart standing in the middle of the busy campus. Things had moved fast between her and Jason. They’d been together for eighteen months, living together for a year. She loved him deeply and thought they had something solid. Apparently, he didn’t.

Trembling, she grabbed her phone and texted Jason the familiar and dreaded phrase:

We need to talk.

Except in the evening, they did not talk. Things escalated quickly. She’d started sobbing the minute he walked in, and he knew exactly what about. Struggling to produce a coherent sentence, she showed him the proof. He stayed silent at first, then yelled at her, and even accused her of invading his privacy. When Ella didn’t relent, the excuses started. Sarah was lying. Nothing happened between them besides some harmless flirting. It meant nothing.

But Ella refused to let him gaslight her. With tears streaming down her cheeks, she told him, “It’s over.”

He looked at her bewildered, then he too teared up and began apologising. Then he swore he’d change and repeated he loved her, and only her.

When she turned to walk away, he grabbed her arm.

“Let me go,” she pleaded, trying to break free.

But he didn’t release her. He tightened his grip, pulled her closer and attempted to kiss her.

“No! Back off!” she raised her voice for the first time during the argument, and yanked her arm away.

She couldn’t have predicted Jason’s reaction. Her unwillingness to forgive him triggered something she never considered him capable of.

Without warning, his fist smashed against her face. Her head flew back. All thoughts disappeared. So did all feelings, except for the thunderbolt of pain.

Ella touched her right cheek with a shaking hand. She whimpered as she looked at her ex-boyfriend in disbelief.

Jason looked as shocked as she felt. “Oh no, Ella! I’m sorry!” He tried to take her face in his hands, but she recoiled.

“Don’t touch me, you bastard!” She fled into the bathroom and slammed the door shut.

Only then did it sink in what happened. Jason hit her. Not a slap in the face; he’d punched her. She tasted blood in her mouth, where her teeth had cut into her flesh.

She walked over to the mirror above the sink. Her red cheek had already started swelling. She cried. What was she supposed to do now? Call the police? Would they even do anything?

Even if they didn’t, Jason terrified her, and she needed help. So she made the call.

Fifteen minutes later, the doorbell rang. Jason answered. She heard him desperately trying to defend himself.

It wasn’t his fault. She’d provoked him. He hadn’t hit her hard, just smacked her. It wasn’t even serious. Spats happened. They would figure it out together.

His excuses didn’t work, because a female police officer knocked on the bathroom door.

Ella opened it.

While her colleague stayed with Jason, she took Ella to the bedroom to listen to her side of the story.

Now Ella reported what had occurred, it sounded so surreal, as if she was talking about someone else. It seemed like a long time ago that her world fell apart, even though it had only happened that morning.

Her relationship was over. It took one punch to shatter all her illusions. Not only was she single, but also homeless. She couldn’t share a flat with Jason anymore. Not after tonight.

To avoid Jason, Ella stayed with her close friend Sophie. The next day, following her morning classes, she returned to the apartment to collect her belongings, knowing Jason would be at work.

Ella tried to unlock the deadbolt, but her key did not fit. She tried again. It still wouldn’t fit. Her stomach sank. Her brain struggled to comprehend the obvious; he’d changed the lock.

She knocked on the door of the only neighbor Jason and she talked to. He didn’t know anything about the situation, nor did he have a key. Panic slowly set in. All her stuff was in there. Her laptop, her clothes, her phone charger…

Shaking, she picked up her phone and called Jason. Three rings later, he declined the call. The next time she tried, the connection terminated immediately. He’d blocked her.

Now what? Her name wasn’t on the lease. She stood in the hallway contemplating her next move before deciding to call Sophie.

“Hey hon,” her friend answered enthusiastically. .

Ella sighed. “Hey.”

Sophie caught on without needing an explanation. “What? Did it turn out badly?” she asked, now worried.

“You could say that,” Ella huffed. “He locked me out. Can I stay over for another night?”

“Oh girl, I’d love to let you sleep in my bed, but I’m not there. And I’ve only just met my roommates. I don’t think they’d be okay with you staying in my room alone. I’m sorry.”

Ella swallowed the lump in her throat. “No, I get it. I’ll find a hostel, hotel, or something.”

“Or an Airbnb?” Sophie suggested, her voice laced with guilt.

“Yeah, I’ll take a look. Bye.” Ella didn’t have the funds for such accommodations. Her tight budget had gone almost entirely toward buying books this month. She rushed down the stairs. There was no point in staying here. She scrolled through her contact list. Lost in thought, she tripped over a step, dropping her phone. It tumbled and landed face down. Ella hesitated before picking it up. When she did, sure enough, a giant crack ran from the top right corner to the bottom left. The device was still on and showed her contacts. At the top of the list was Kelsey Deveraux.

Kelsey… her best friend in high school. They were once inseparable. But that was a long time ago. After graduation, they’d taken a trip to Bali. It had been an amazing journey until Kelsey confessed his love for her. Though speechless at first, she managed to tell him that she didn’t feel the same way. When she woke up the next morning, he’d run off with a new travel companion they’d met the day before. Even worse, he’d taken all their cash. The hostel didn’t take credit cards and there was no ATM for miles.

Ella decided to cut her trip short and traveled home. The trauma and financial setback had cost her dearly. She took a gap year to earn enough money to pay off her credit card, and save for her annual tuition. Then she again drained her accounts to put a down payment on her and Jason’s shared apartment, for which her name was not on the lease—a stupid mistake.

Kelsey and Ella’d patched up their relationship during that year, partly thanks to their mothers, who were friends and lived next door to each other. Their friendship however never fully recovered. Kelsey’s confession didn’t help. The fact that the travel companion he left with was now his girlfriend helped even less.

Ella didn’t have time to dwell on lingering feelings. Kelsey lived in the city, and he owed her. So, she swallowed her pride and pressed the dial button.

I dedicate this story to my dear friends.

Lauren, for having angelic patience in teaching me the ways of editing, always supporting me and making me want to be a better writer.

Mae, for inspiring me and being my hype woman whenever I hit a wall.

Both of you deserve a character named after you😉