Chapter 1
I look into the brown eyes sitting across from me. This was supposed to be the love of my life. Why did it always feel like something was missing? I looked at the golden hair, sharp nose and pink lips sitting across from me.
Brett.
My Brett.
That didn’t sound right.
Even after 10 weeks it just didn’t sit right with me.
I listen as he talks about his day and about how someone in his class got hurt on the obstacle course and how he was carried away. He thought it was funny.
I didn’t.
I think about the last few months and how they changed everything.
My parents had made it clear from a young age that a woman’s responsibility was to make her mate happy and be submissive. Cook, clean and be obedient. And give them pups of course.
I was so happy when Brett came up to me one day in school and told me I was his mate. He had just turned 18 that day and had run all over the school trying to find me when he realised.
I was the perfect girlfriend. Polite, invisible but always there for him. Even when it made my grades crash and miss important milestones of the pack.
You see my Mum and Dad were the Gammas to the Blackgrove pack which was the largest pack in America. My twin brothers Matt and Michael would take over their position when the next Alpha takes charge of the pack. That is when the current Alpha hands over the reins, usually around his or her 22nd birthday.
Our current pack leaders are Alpha Fred Carter and our Luna was Helen Carter. They were great leaders who had a son the same age as my brothers. He was 4 months older and away at Alpha training in a special secret facility where they taught Alphas how to take care of a pack. Scott, who was the next beta in line, was also away in the same training facility.
Alphas from the age of 17 to 20 go to the training centre and then come home to find a mate and start helping out with pack affairs. The Beta goes along with that timeline even if he is already 18 like Scott was.
Scott was already 18 and had found his mate. Her name is Iliana and she is one of the nicest people in the whole pack. She was a pack warrior and an incredible tracker.
We had all grown up together and our families were all great friends. We were close when we were younger but as they got older and started training together they became their own little groups and I was left out.
I was okay with that though. My mother used that chance to teach me everything I would need to know. Cleaning, cooking and being submissive to my mates orders.
It wasn’t easy though. I had a sharp tongue and liked to wander out in the woods. I used to disappear through the trees and go to a small wild flower patch on the southern edge of the territory.
I just sat there in the flowers looking up at the clouds in the sky. Knowing I would have to return home and face the wrath of my father.
The thing was he believed I was a day dreamer and the pack had no place for a woman who didn’t do as she was told.
I automatically adjust myself in the wood chair as I think back to two days ago when dad found me sneaking out.
I currently had rope marks across my back that were not healing. Wolfsbane and silver dust soaked in the whips made sure that I would remember this for at least a week.
My wolf wasn’t with me yet so I didn’t heal very fast. Still faster than a human though. If she was here it would be healed within an hour.
It wasn’t the first ‘punishment’ I had had, it wouldn’t be the last either.
“Alright, come on babe” Brett says, and it draws me back to reality.
I follow him out of the cafe and hold my hand as we go towards his car. His hand wraps around mine tightly as he strides. I almost have to run to keep up with him and his long legs.
He lets my hand go and we separate to get into the car.
“You will come back to mine okay” he says, closing the discussion.
Brett’s parents as well as my own and my parents had the same beliefs when it came to mates. Not seen or heard just there for support and duty. Not everyone in the pack believed that but some definitely still believed in the older more traditional ways of pack life.
I knew what was going to happen when we got to his house and it made my stomach churned as I leaned against the cold glass. In the last 10 weeks I had somehow convinced him not to mark me. I wanted to wait until I had my wolf but that was the only thing he would wait on.
We pulled up to his parents bungalow and he all but pulled me into his house and upstairs to his room. His parents wouldn’t be home until late as they were out on patrol at the pack borders.
I walk over and stand at the foot of the bed looking down at my joined hands. I waited there while I heard him move around the room behind me.
My heart started beating fast and I could feel my hands growing clammy as the anticipation grew.
I was wearing a light blue dress and a dark blue cardigan as was his preference and waited for instructions.
“Lie on your stomach”, he ordered and I leaned my chest down onto the bed in front of me. I braced my hands beside my head ready for the intrusion. It was always like this. Even the first time.
“God you are such a good mate for me” he mutters standing behind me. I keep my eyes straight ahead as he nudges me at my ankles, spreading my legs further.
I close my eyes as panic starts to overcome me. This always happens before we start. It’s like he keeps me waiting on purpose just to build up my anxiety.
I feel his hand grab my dress and force it up onto my back. He pushes me down harder and I try not to wince as he pushes on the sores on my back. He laughs at me as he pushes it up further to look at my wounds.
“You got off light compared to what I would have done” he says, pulling it down and slamming his shaft into my folds.
My eyes close as pain erupts between my thighs as he moves. God I should be used to the pain by now. He keeps moving as I try to breath through the burning, searing pain as it gets worse with him increasing his movement.
I hear him grunting softly and I try to crawl forwards to stop him from going so deep. He growls and grips my hips pulling me back with force.
He slams into me and I cry out in pain as it goes deeper than ever. Dark spots creep into my vision as he moves my dress up all the way and runs his wolf claws down from my shoulders, over my rope marks and down to my waist as I try to move away from him.
I cry out in pain as I feel the blood drip down my sides and onto the bed at my sides. With one last thrust he stills inside me as I cry out in agony as pain explodes inside of me. He groans in pleasure as he pulls out leaving my core exposed to the cold room.
It burned more than usual as I closed my legs. I slowly pushed myself up and looked down between my legs to see a small trail of blood falling down my thighs. My back starts to heal and the dripping blood subsides by the time Brett is in the bathroom having a shower.
I feel a tear fall down my cheek and I wipe it away angrily. I’m his mate. It’s an honor I keep repeating to myself as I cleaned myself up with a small cloth thrown at me from the bathroom. I wipe off the blood and then start to change his sheets. The movements cause pain to shoot through my body from my core and back.
Shame fills me and I try to suppress my tears and anger at myself while I continue.
I move quickly as I put the sheets and cloth in the laundry and remake the bed with clean sheets. By the time Brett comes out I have redone my hair, fixed my clothes and am sitting in the end of the bed waiting with food.
It was the same old stupid routine. Sex in that position and I clean and get food while he showers. My thoughts go back to his claws scraping along my back and his comment of me getting off light.
Brett had been getting rougher these last couple of weeks. He had back handed me twice and that was the first time he had used his claws on me.
He sits down beside me and I stay silent until he finishes.
He pulls me up and drags me out to his car without saying a word. I sit carefully on his seat as the pain awakens between my legs again. I wince quietly as we drive the few streets to my house. To my surprise we drive straight past it and pull up to the pack house.
I look at Brett in confusion and he keeps on ignoring me.
He pulls up and marches inside leaving me trailing like an idiot. I walk into the pack house which was essentially a place where we had meals, hosted balls and parties all while having a gaming room, theatre as well as multiple board rooms and normal rooms for unmated wolves and warriors.
It was 4 stories tall and looked like a large wood chalet. It was beautiful. The massive library was two stories in height and the back wall was made out of large windows letting in a tone of light. It was my favourite spot in the house.
I know where Brett has gone. He is hanging out with his friends in the gaming room. He liked to call it decompressing.
I make a beeline for the nearest bathroom where I can gain my composure before facing the wolves. Literally.
I look at myself in the golden framed mirror as I lean on the vanity. My long golden brown hair was in a loose braid along my shoulder and down to just above my breasts. My eyes were dull green where they used to be bright and full of wonder. Life was certainly different now.
I look at my sunken facial features and fun my pale hands over my face. I had noticed I was losing myself over the last few months.
I always thought that the mate bond was supposed to make you thrive. You’re with your soulmate, your destined other half. It shouldn’t be like this. But I didn’t know how to fix it.
Where did I even start?
I make sure there is no blood on my back and quickly get a pad out of my pad. I was still bleeding down there which I wasn’t used to doing. It usually stopped straight away. I know I wasn’t even due for my period yet so I knew it wasn’t that.
I make my way down the hall to the game room and as I walk in I hear people cheering loudly. I walk in and stand at the back of the room, scanning the busy room trying to find my brothers and Brett.
They didn’t get along as Brett’s family as they were the next in line to be Gamma until the twins were born. The families hadn’t gotten along in years but because they were so busy learning to be Gamma they didn’t spend any time together. Which was good for me because they talked crap about each other constantly.
I tried to defend Brett but over the last couple of weeks I couldn’t even think of anything to defend him. He had turned nasty.
My eyes fall on the twins and then I find Brett on the other side of the room glaring at whoever is playing the X-box. I look at the back of their heads and a twinge of recognition forms in my belly. I feel like I know them.
All of a sudden they jump up from the couch cheering loudly before turning and high fiving each other.
OMG.
Its Scott.
And Jax
