PART 1: THE DISCONNECT
is it really me ??
"There is a silence into which the world cannot intrude...Everything you want,look for, and need is within you."— Rumi
CHAPTER 1:LOOKING FOR CLUES
2.31 A
M
The bedroom is too quiet.
The silence in this room doesn’t feel empty; it feels heavy, 4 it’s pressing down on my chest. I sit here with a blank notebook and a pen that feels too heavy to hold. The ink on the paper is the only proof that I am still here. I open my diary, but looking at these blank pages is like looking into a mirror and asking a question I can't answer:
"The hardest part of losing yourself is realizing you were the one who let go."
My mind drifts backward, pulling me into the shadows of my childhood. I remember the playgrounds where I felt invisible, the hallways where whispers felt like stones, and the way people looked right through me. They treated me like a ghost before I even knew how to speak up.
If I had a chance to go back, I would scream. I would change everything. I would tell that small, fragile version of me to stand up, to run, to protect themselves.
But I can't go back.
"We are all time travelers stuck in a one-way street, wishing for a U-turn that doesn't exist."
Suddenly, the floodgates open. Every memory crashes into me at once. The happy moments—the rare, fleeting summer days where I actually laughed—mix with the bitter, sharp stings of every time I was let down. The past and the present collide in my mind, a chaotic storm of who I was versus who I am now.
I look down at my hands. I look at the title I wrote on the very first page.
is it really me??
Am I the same person, am I drifting away, am I still happy, am I willing to stay like this so many questions pass across my mind.
The thought shatters me completely. I don't know who I am looking at anymore.
