Scratton's Kiss

“That’s it, let it all out.” Annette holds back my hair as I vomit into the empty basket.

“I can’t… I can’t do it.” I try to catch my breath. “I can’t.”

“Shhh, it’s okay, honey, it’s okay.” she pats my back. It feels like forever before I stop. I knew I shouldn’t have eaten breakfast today. Did I get any of the floor? I hope not. I should have gone to the basket on the stone floor instead of the one on the rug.

“Sahar?” I hear my magician softly call my name.

“I’m fine.” I lie, resting my forehead on the side of the bucket. “It’s fine. But you should probably let me stay home anyways. At least for today.” I beg.

“You don’t have a fever.” Of course, he has to check anyway.

“I did say I was fine.” I protest meekly.

“Yes, but you lie.” I feel him kiss the top of my head. “Here, drink this, it’ll help settle your stomach.” I reluctantly sit up and take the vial as Annette wipes my mouth off with a handkerchief. “Annette…”

“I’m sorry, but it’s gross,” she does not sound like she’s apologizing.

“And what happened here?” Jevaran moves my few straightened sections of locks away from my neck to look at the burn,

“She pulled away too fast when I was using the straightening iron.” Annette sighs.

“Why are you using the straightening iron?”

“To straighten her hair? So her aunt won’t make comments.” She reminds him, as if he should know already. Of course that won’t keep her from making comments, but she won’t be harping on my curls if I straighten them. Unless curls have come back in fashion. Are they back in fashion now? Oh god, I don’t know.

“I told you that stuff damages your hair.” He scolds me.

“We’re just using heat this time.” I reassure him. It makes it wavy instead of actually straight, but aside from it being dark brown and curly at all, my hair is more like my father’s. You can’t do the things with it my mother can do with hers unless you seriously grease it down and even then it just draws lint in like no one’s business.

“If she knows she can get you to change your behavior by being a bastard, she’s never going to stop.”Jevaran reminds me.

“She’ll never stop even if she does change her behavior. Not for more than a few minutes while she finds something else to pick on her about.” Annette speaks up. That’s what I love about her, she can always say what I can never bring myself to.

“Would you like me to make you something to help keep you calm during your visit?” Jevaran asks gently, putting a hand to my cheek. I’m not sure what to say. If they catch me taking something to ease my anxiety they’ll say something about that, too.

“I don’t want to go.”

“I know, hunny bunny.” he pats my head. “But it’ll be alright.”

“No it won’t. You won’t be there. Annette won’t be there. I’ll be there all by myself. With them.”I sound like a child. A petulant child, but it’s not like I can use the adult language I’d need to properly convey my feelings about visiting my aunt and uncle.

“Rick will be there.” Annette reminds me. That’s even worse. We won’t have Jevaran to chaperone us, we’ll have someone that might report to my mother or my aunt if I don’t do something right. Or if he does something not right and I let him, or don’t let him. I’ll just freeze up and won’t be able to do or say anything.

“Why can’t you come with us?” I demand turning to my magician. He looks away a bit awkwardly.

“I’m not really allowed near your uncle.” he rubs the back of his neck.

“Why?”

“Well,” he makes a face. “I’m not really allowed to tell you, but let’s just say he thought I did something that I very often did but didn’t in that case and challenged me to a duel over it. We both almost died from it.”

“Oh. I suppose that makes sense.” I sigh. “You couldn’t have just told him you didn’t do it?”

“I did. He didn’t believe me. But that’s alright. If it hadn’t happened, I wouldn’t have been in the woods when your mother went into labor and I wouldn’t have been there to help give birth to you. So it all evened out.” he shrugs.

“Can you help me fake being sick? Give me something that makes it look like something contagious?”

“No. You’ll be alright. Just give your uncle a wide berth. Especially if he makes you feel uncomfortable in any way. Promise?”

“I will.”I sigh. “I don’t know how I’m going to do this without you.”

“You will do just fine. It’s just a family visit, and you outrank them.” he reminds me, though I certainly don’t feel like I outrank anyone. Especially not my aunt. That would be nice though. To think of my aunt and cousins and being coldly polite and formal, speaking as little to me as they can like the servants do. I just hate having to leave my room behind. No matter how bad their visits here are, I’m always free to retreat to my room when I’ve had too much citing lessons or something. What can I do there? Why after all this time do we have to go to their manor instead of them coming to our castle? Probably something like hunting. “When Rick gets there, I’m sure he’ll make sure you’re alright.”

“Okay.” There’s not really anything he can do, though. Honestly if he’s as affectionate there as he is here, he’ll just make things worse.

“I’ll make you some special herbal teas that’ll help relax you. They won’t taste too good, but you shouldn’t get any grief for teas.” he offers. I just nod. “I’ll make sure you have your sword, too. You should get some practice in while you’re there.”

“I’m pretty sure they’ll have something to say about that, too.” I can’t help but comment.

“GIven your Aunt had to learn when she was a princess here, unless it’s criticizing your technique, she shouldn’t.” He smirks, as if she wouldn’t do just that. “If she does, just ask her to demonstrate.”

“How do I practice without you there, though?”

“Ask one of their sergeants. Trust me, it won’t be difficult. I just don’t want you to get out of the habit of training at least a little every day. If you like I could recommend that you to train a lot every day.” he grins. I can’t help but smile back.

“Thank you.”

“Rinse your hair out and let it curl back up. You look just fine wearing your hair naturally. I’ll get you something for the burn on your neck, too.”

“Thank you, Jevaran.” I put my hand to my neck. Oh, it’s already blistering. That’s going to show up on Rick, for sure. Annette follows him to the door and watches him leave a few seconds before closing it.

“It’s just not fair.” She groans, slumping down dejectedly as usual.

“I don’t understand your infatuation with him. He’s old enough to be your father.”

“First off, so what? Second of all, I don’t understand your lack of it. You can see him, right? His face isn’t all blurry or anything is it? You do see that gorgeous blonde hair and devastating blue eyes.”

“Yes, because those are in such short supply in Generva.” I retort. My blonde also blue eyed friend just crosses her arms at me. “I just don’t see what you’re going so crazy about. He doesn’t even really talk to you.”

“Tell me about it.” She sighs. “I swear, there is something wrong with you. Sometimes I wonder if you even like men.”

“Of course not, I love Rick.” My unfortunate wording makes her snort an unsuccessfully repressed laugh. “Oh be quiet, you know what I mean. I wish we could ride the horses instead of the carriage.”

“They have decent cushions in the carriages.”

“Yes, but I’ll be in there with my mother.”

“She might not talk to you.” Annette says hopefully. “Bring a text book to read on the way. She won’t interrupt you if she thinks you’re studying and not just avoiding conversation.”

“Maybe.” I sigh.

“C’mon let’s finish getting ready.” Annette comes back and helps me to my feet. “I’ll just twist these back into a little rosette so no one will notice some’s straightened.”

“Thanks.”

“Don’t worry. Everything will turn out alright.”

It’s been very quiet. My mother hasn’t said anything to me yet. She often doesn’t. We don’t exactly have much to say to each other. Sometimes I’m not sure she even knows I’m here. I don’t mind. When she does speak to me it’s usually because someone said something to her about me, so silence is a good thing. I need to take a break from reading, hopefully it won’t invite conversation.

“Sahar.” She’s not looking at me,never a good sign. “How old are you now?” Is she asking because she doesn’t know or because she wants to remind me how old I am.

“Nineteen.”

“You’ll be getting married soon.”

“Yes.” That seems to be the safest reply.

“You have no choice in the matter, but that’s the way these things go sometimes. You’re lucky it’s a bond match. You’d never be a candidate for High Queen otherwise.”

“Yes, mother.”

“I assume that despite my wishes you have been informed of your wifely duties.” She sounds almost relieved for some reason.

“What do you mean?” This gets me an annoyed glance.

“That which will result in giving birth to the next heir to the throne.”

“Well, not so much but I have seen animals in the spring. I assume it’s pretty much the same thing.” Mom purses her lips at this, though she doesn’t correct me.

“Not quite the same. But he’ll let you know what to do. But these things are to be kept private and confined to the marriage bed. As the wedding gets closer he may try and take liberties. You already let him get away with too much, and this week you won’t have Jevaran to chaperone you.”

“Yes, mother.”

“Even if such things will not impregnate you, he will have no respect for you if you do what he wishes. No man appreciates what comes easily to him.”

“Yes, mother.” It seems like the safest thing to say. She’s still not looking at me. I didn’t think I let Rick get away with anything. I know they don’t approve when he kisses me goodbye, but I can’t exactly stop him. I like his kisses anyways. There’s nothing wrong with a kiss. Is there? Amanda kisses her mother’s cheek before she goes to bed. And he takes my hand, but so does Annette and no one says anything about that. What’s the difference really. How can one be alright but not the other. Besides, we are going to marry. If anything it should be more okay for me and Rick. And it’s certainly nothing animals do in the spring. Not, of course, that I can say that.

I wonder how different it is for people. It looks like it’d be very awkward. Our arms and legs aren’t the same length and I don’t think it’s exactly in the same places. Well, I suppose Rick must know. Maybe I can ask Annette if she knows. What if he doesn’t? That would be pretty embarrassing if neither of us know what to do. I’m not supposed to talk about it, though. Is he? Maybe it’s just one more thing that’s different for boys. Hopefully we won’t have to do it too much. We only need so many children. I wonder how many times it takes to get pregnant.

I probably shouldn’t even be thinking about this. It’s just too weird, really. At least I actually love him. And I like him, too. I think he feels the same way. He treats me well and is always glad to see me and enjoys spending time with me even though he has to put up with Jevaran. Maybe that’s part of the bond. It would be awful if the only thing the bond does is make us able to feel and see each other’s injuries, even though it’s not to the same degree. It’s assumed we’re a destined pair.

Otherwise I’d never be in the running for High Queen, if only because I’m the only royal heir of Generva. We’re too important to Ixdela to have someone outside the family running our country. I suppose it means that Angeline will take my place since her mother is my father’s sister. Of course even if she is, having a Bordivan on the Genervan throne isn’t exactly considered ideal. There’s always been conflict between Constulst and Centira and it’s made a lot of trouble… Generva is the centerpiece of the country, and the home of the main Ixdelan army. If Rick wasn’t his father’s only child, he’d probably take it over with me instead of my joining him on his throne. I wonder how well that would have gone over. Generva may be important but it’s a very small part of Ixdela.

I wonder why it’s called Generva and not Centira. Centira’s not in the center of anything. Maybe the center of the world, depending on how you look at it. That seems kind of arrogant though. Any place could be the center of the world. I’m sure the other two countries, Axtoni and Dionia think their capitals are the center of the world too. It doesn’t make any sense though, why Ixdela is made up of six kingdoms with six different kings if it’s just one country. Isn’t that just asking for trouble? I suppose it’s better than having them all fight among each other until they either split or just take over the other kingdoms. They probably don’t because Generva’s always allied firmly with Centira in pretty much everything. I suppose we’ll have even closer ties now.

I wonder if my parents will try to have another child. I know my parents dislike my uncle enough to do so just to keep his children off the throne. Honestly learning Jevaran once almost killed him explains why my father keeps him around at least. Uncle Derek won’t even come to the castle as long as he’s here. It’s amazing to think he was a good enough swordsman to come to that kind of draw with Jevaran though. I’d always assumed he was allowed to stay so he could teach me. Granted that makes no sense either because he’s my magician for the most part.

How do you be that good with swordplay and a good magician. I suppose I don’t know if he really is a good magician. I never get really sick. And I don’t injure myself more than basic scrapes and bruises. I don’t think I’ve even broken any bones. I’m not sure he’s guild certified, either. He’s more like my nanny really. He doesn’t really seem to like being called my magician, which is odd. Usually magicians hate being called medicinal alchemists, which they technically are and insist on being called magicians instead. But he especially hates that. Someone called him a doctor once and he punched his lights out. Which was fair because doctors aren’t good for much and most are frauds. I love him to pieces, but it doesn’t really make sense when I think about it. Not that I’d ever say that to him. Or ask him about it. It might hurt his feelings.

I hope it won’t take too much longer to get there. Well, maybe that wouldn’t be so bad. The longer it takes to get there the less time I have to spend there before we leave. I wish they’d let Annette come.

“Is this Sahar?” Yet another blonde greets me as I leave the carriage, arms outstretched to take my hands. At least he has green eyes. This must be Uncle Derek.

“Hello, Uncle.” I force myself to greet him politely. He takes my hands and draws me closer to kiss my cheek.

“The last time I saw you, you were such a tiny thing. Now look at you, such a beautiful young lady.” he kisses my other cheek.

“Thank you.” I take my hands back and look down.

“Still just as shy, I see. Meriope, looking just as lovely as ever.” He greets my mother, who gives a curt nod.

“Derek.”

I can see my father greeting my Aunt up by the stairs. Angeline and Amanda are next to her. Amanda smiles, giving me a wave. She’s still sweet. But she’s only twelve. Angeline wasn’t so horrible until after she turned thirteen. I never know what to do with her, though. I can’t sew or embroider or decorate and if I play with dolls I never hear the end of it, even if I’m only doing it with her. I usually just end up reading her books or having tea in the garden listening to her talk. As long as it’s just us and I don’t have to talk back it’s alright.

“Constance will show you to your quarters. You probably want to freshen up after such a long drive.” Uncle Derek beckons one of his servants with a snap of the fingers.

“This way your majesty.” She curtsies and heads back. I look back to my mother. She just gives me a nod so I follow the young woman to my quarters. They’re alright. The gold plating is a little garish and it’s nicked in a few places showing the stone underneath. I’ve never understood what’s so good about gold. There’s too much yellow in Generva, already. Of course this is Contulst. One good thing about it is I’m not surrounded by so many blue-eyed blondes. I do see more people who look like me, too. If only among the servants. Of course it does border Axtoni so they’d mix more than in other places.

The maid helps me off with my dusty traveling dress and places it aside.

“If you’d care to rest I’ll come wake you when the bath water is warmed up.” She offers.

“Yes, thank you.” Traveling is always exhausting. At least now I’ll be able to rest. I hope. I wonder when Rick’s going to get here. If he was already here he would have greeted me at the door with my uncle. I wonder if his father’s coming or if it’ll just be him. Maybe he’d be willing to spar with me. Or would that be a bad idea? I’ve seen him practice and I think I might be better than he is. My arms are just as thick. My mother was fairly annoyed when she noticed that. I have to wear puffed sleeves to hide my biceps. Thankfully skirts hide my legs. I don’t think she’d want me to win against him. She told me to only play games I’m bad at with him. I wonder if he already knows I might be better than he is. Maybe that’s why he never asked to spar with me. Or maybe he’s just afraid he’ll hurt me. Which he might. I don’t exactly want to hurt him either. If we do and I hold back will he be able to tell? Will he get upset?

He never seemed upset when I accidentally won when we played tennis. Well, he wasn’t. The people around me didn’t seem too pleased. He just insisted we play doubles from then on. Of course then everyone was staring and whispering and I kept messing up. Angeline said I should have thrown the first game, not the rest of them. Of course, I wasn’t doing it on purpose. It was probably just a lucky first game that’s all. I ended up just saying I was tired and sitting out the rest. Hopefully no one noticed I wasn’t even sweating.

They’re going to be hunting this week. I wonder if I’ll be allowed to go. I’m definitely not anywhere near as good an archer as I am a swordsman so I won’t have to worry about showing anyone up and making people angry again. Though I might if I end up scaring away the game. I wonder what it’s like to kill an animal. It can’t be that bad seeing as we do it all the time. And they do taste delicious. That’s not a very lady-like thing to be thinking, though.

Maybe I should have gone to Barrister like Angeline and Amanda. I’d have learned to be much more appropriately feminine there. But my father wanted me to keep up my training and they wouldn’t allow Jevaran to come for some reason. We even offered to let him teach the other girls too if they wanted, but it was completely out of the question. Of course, my mother changed her mind when I went there for a visit and they mistook Annette for the Genervan princess and me for her maid.

I suppose it wasn’t really their fault. Annette didn’t have a travel outfit so she just had to wear her usual clothes which are nicer than my favorite travel outfit. I dress down a little bit to look like less of a target. And Annette is the blue eyed blonde with delicately fair skin while I’m a brown half Axton who never remembers to stay out of the sun. Besides which I was too nervous to speak so she did what she usually did and spoke for me. If the headmistress was better at listening and less insistent on us be quiet like good girls, it would have been cleared up much sooner. I might have still gotten to stay if the head maid hadn’t had so many less than complementary things to say about young axton maids. I could have just not told my mother what she said, but at the time I really didn’t want to go so I did.

Maybe if I had I’d know how to handle large affairs better. Maybe made some friends other than Annette. I don’t know though, the ones I saw seemed a lot more like Angeline than Annette. At least I have Rick to help me through them. He always makes it so much easier. Especially when I can’t have Jevaran with me. What am I going to do until he arrives? Maybe I can pretend to fall asleep. No, the maid said she’d wake me. I’ll just try to take an extra long time in the bath. Maybe I can make it last until dinner. And then after dinner I can just say I’m tired from the trip and go to bed early. The hunting won’t even start until tomorrow. Yes, It really was a long ride and my mother’s probably going to do that herself. I can do it. I hope.

“Sahar!” Amanda bounces over to me, “Look what daddy got me.” she lifts her chin and pulls out her collar showing off a beautiful sapphire necklace.

“It’s beautiful.” I smile at her. “It’s the same color as your eyes.”

“Yes, I have my mother’s eyes.” She beams. “It’s an early birthday present. It’s for me to wear when he takes me to Abdorin Ports for my birthday. But I wanted to show it to you.”

“That sounds fun. What are you going to do there.”

“What did you just say?” Angeline snaps from across the table. That’s definitely not a tone she usually uses with her sister.

“Daddy’s taking me to Abdorin Ports for my birthday. Just like he took you.” Amanda ignores her. I’m not sure she even notices the odd almost angry look her older sister gets at this. Angeline actually looks at her father like she wants to hurt him.

“What’s wrong with Abdorin Ports?” I ask and put my napkin on my lap.

“Nothing depending on where you go. It has a highly cultured entertainment sector every young woman should go see.” Uncle Derek smiles at his other daughter, ignoring Angeline. “But while Thirteen makes a girl a young woman, she won’t be old enough to be going with other than family for a few years yet. Still that’s no reason she should be deprived.”

“There might be some things she’s not ready for, though. She’s still very young twelve and she’s definitely not a woman yet.” This comment makes Amanda blush and cross her arms across her chest.

“Not until her birthday at least. Amanda, go put that away and come back to the table. I wanted you to save that for our trip.”

“Yes, Daddy.” she runs away. I suppose Angeline can even be a jerk to her little sister too.

“I haven’t been to Abdorin Ports in a while. I have a few friends there I’d love to see.” Angeline sounds a little more pleasant, though I can still tell she’s annoyed. Maybe it’s her eyes. They look kind of like my dad’s. “Why don’t I come down with you?”

“No Angeline, this is my special trip with Amanda. You can go to Abdorin Ports some other time.” I didn’t know anyone said no to Angeline. I have to make sure not to smile.

“I won’t be in the way..”

“I said no.”The firm way he says this makes me feel guilty somehow even though it’s not me he’s mad at. Not that I can even remember the last time I’ve had to be spoken to that way. Angeline is quiet for a minute then gets up from the table and walks out of the room. “Please forgive my daughter, she’s going through a difficult period.” Eighteen wasn’t exactly fun for me either but I never acted like that. I could never get away with doing something like that. If I could, I wouldn’t be here right now. I can’t believe she’s that much of a jealous brat. I mean, I can but I can’t believe she’d show it in front of her mother.

“Hands off the table.” My aunt says cooly not looking at me, but I know she’s talking to me anyways. I let go of the edge and put my hands in my lap. This is going to be a long dinner.

Thankfully Angeline never came back to dinner last night and I did feel and look genuinely exhausted by the time dinner was over. If only I can find an excuse every night. But no, I can probably spend the evenings with Rick at least. I hope. Maybe. I wonder if Angeline will get punished. Probably not. If her parents punished her she definitely wouldn’t have left the table like that. Aunt Vivaine certainly would have said something, if not made her stay anyway. I’m glad Amanda’s going to get a little special treatment. It must be nice having a father who acknowledges your existence. I suppose I shouldn’t complain. I do have Jevaran.

There’s a knock on the door. I hoped I’d be able to pretend to sleep in a little longer, but I guess not.

“One minute,” I sit up, and scoot to the edge of the bed.

“My apologies.” My uncle turns around as I draw the curtain aside. “I heard you were an early riser.”

“I..” Is all I manage before pulling the curtains back in front of me.

“I’ll be waiting outside.” He walks back out. Well, that was uncomfortably rude. Does he just walk into his daughter’s rooms like that first thing in the morning?

“Your majesty?” The maid they’ve given me is here. It doesn’t take too long to get dressed and she’s much better with my hair than Annette. I wonder what Uncle Derek needs.

“Hello?” I open my door and peer out. He’s sitting patiently by a window.

“I’m sorry about that, sweetie. I’m too used to my own children.” he smiles.

“That’s alright.” I’m not sure what to say. After all he is just my uncle.

“My little Amanda tells me you like books.”

“As much as anyone I guess.” I shrug.

“You didn’t seem to bring much with you so I thought perhaps I’d show you to the library.” he offers me his arm.

“Thank you.” I reluctantly take it.

“Now, I know your father and I have our differences. I’m sure you’ve heard a few things from your magician as well.” he gives a disgusted sigh and shake of the head.

“He never mentioned you until yesterday.” I inform him. “And he just said you had an argument that escalated into a duel and nearly killed each other.”

“That’s fair. We were both young and poorly behaved. I had a bit of a temper in my youth

Especially when it came to my loved ones. But we’re both older and much more mature. I’m sure he’s become perfectly respectable. I do hate to think that you think our dispute should carry over to you. I’ve regretted never having the chance to get to know you before now. Geneva seems so far away at times and soon you’ll be going even farther away, and married no less. You’re barely older than my own girls. The thought of you married makes me feel very old.” I’m not really sure what to say to this, so I don’t say anything. “What kind of books do you like?”

“I don’t know. Whatever’s around usually.” It’s probably an incredibly uninteresting answer, but I don’t know what else to say. “I usually read things related to my school work. Or things I’m told girls Amanda’s age like when I’m reading to her. She usually brings those with her though.”

“Well, that’s a good place to start. Something wholesome and simple to relax and nourish the mind. You have to be careful with books, you never know what you might find in them.” That’s a weird thing to say. Kind of a weird way of saying it too. Like there could be anything naughty or something about books. Could there be? I know there are books on everything. I wonder if that means there are books on EVERYTHING.

“Do you like romance?” He asks as we enter. It’s bigger than my personal library but not nearly as big as the castle library.

“As much as anyone, I suppose. What does that have to do with books?”

“Love stories, precious.”

“Oh, I don’t think I’ve read any.” We stop in front of a large desk.

“My girls all seem to like them. Where are they.” he moves over to the nearest shelf, bumping against the corner of the desk as he does. A large book falls off. “Get that for me, would you dear? Make sure there are no bent pages?”

“Sure,” I bend over to pick it up. It’s fallen open but there aren’t any bent… what on earth? Well that… doesn’t look less dignified than animals at least.

“See something interesting?” Uncle’s hand on my back makes me jump a little and slam the book shut. Unfortunately I slam it on my thumb, pinching it. Not enough to bruise or anything hopefully. He takes it from me, his hand still on the small of my back, “Hmm, the Joy of Marriage. A classic.” I think I’m in trouble. “Don’t worry. You’re almost a married woman. There’s nothing in here you shouldn’t know eventually.” he offers it back. I just shake my head. I do know better than that. It must be a trap. If he doesn’t think I’m an idiot then he must be one. “No, you’re right. If you like I can put it in my personal study and you can go look at it in private if you wish. Attitudes on this sort of thing tend to be a bit… old fashioned, but there’s nothing wrong with a little natural curiosity. It can be our little secret.”

“No, thank you. I’m alright. Excuse me,” I move away and quickly leave the library. That was probably the most uncomfortable thing I have ever experienced. When will Rick get here? And where exactly am I? How do I get to the guards training area? Will any of them spar with me?

“Good morning!” Amanda greets me, waving from inside a smaller room.

“Good morning.”

“If you’re looking for the Crown Prince he went to the kennels.”

“He’s here?”

“Yeah, they got here last night. You were asleep and he didn’t want to wake you.” She hangs on the door way. “Do you know where the kennels are?”

“No.”

“Go down those stairs to the door and take a left on the path through the woods, they train them in the forest. But stay on the path, okay?”

“Thank you.” I smile and head down the corridor. Oh thank god, I can’t wait to see him. If I can’t go home spending time with him will be the next best thing.

The area around here is beautiful. The land around my castle is filled with barracks and fortresses. There are a couple of gardens, but it’s nothing like a forest. The forest is my favorite part of visiting my grandfather. I wonder why he’s going to the kennel. He’s not overly fond of dogs. I’m not either. We both appreciate them, but not the jumping or the smell. I’m not sure but he might be a little afraid of them, too. He doesn’t like to get too close. Maybe he’s trying to get used to the hunting dogs before we go out. I probably should, too, then.

The path seems to be fairly empty. Maybe we could go back together and even hold hands without anyone noticing. I wonder if he’s seen that book. Or one like it. Is that why they said he’d know what to do? It seems like a very strange awkward thing to do, but if you have to do it to get children I suppose it could be worse. I like his kisses, maybe if he kisses me when we do it, it could be kind of fun.

What was that? I stop and look around as I hear a low moan. I go past the large oak and see Rick leaning back against a tree. I’m fairly sure that’s Angeline,too. I”m not sure what to do. They don’t see me, mostly because Rick’s eyes are closed and Angeline’s back is to me. She’s kneeling on the ground right in front of him, and whatever she’s doing he’s definitely not objecting to it. Is she.. What... Does he like that? Oh god I’m not going to have to do that am I? I sure as hell don’t want Angeline anywhere near it.

I kind of want to hurt them. I bend over and pick up a decent size rock and throw it at them. Since I’m trying to just startle them of course I actually make a hit, right on the back of Angeline’s head. This makes Rick curse. If it hurt him then it’s on a place I don’t have and thus can’t feel. Good.

“Oh my god.” Angeline puts her hand to the back of her head. “Is this blood? Am I bleeding?” I certainly hope so. “ You…” she looks at me and gives a little smile as Rick puts his clothes back in place. “Oh, no.” She fakes dismay so obviously I want to throw another rock at her. She’s not even trying not to smile behind her hand. “Sahar, I’m so sorry.”

“Sahar?” Rick turns pale.

“No please, don’t let me interrupt.” I turn around and walk away as fast as I can. I’m going home. I’m going straight to the stables and getting one of our horses and I’m going straight home. I don’t care what they do.

“Sahar, wait! Let me explain.” Since I don’t really want an explanation I leave the path to cut through the curve and get back faster. I wonder if I can outrun him, It’ll be easier through the woods at least. It’s the only place I was ever really allowed to run. “Saha..” A sharp pain in my leg stops me short and I trip on my own feet. Did I sprain my ankle? Oh please no.

I lift up my skirt and look at it. No, but thanks to the purplish coloring around it,it looks like he might have. OW! I’d think he fell down a hill but there’s no hill to fall down. Did he break his leg? How could he possibly break his leg? A mark that purple that hurts that much means he either broke it or got it cut off or something extreme.

“Rick?” It would serve him right if I just left him here and sent the guards out after him. But what if there’s trouble. Not that I could exactly do anything about it if there are kidnappers or assassins or something. I don’t have my sword. I’d just give them another target. But if it’s something else… I slowly get to my feet. Alright, it doesn’t hurt worse when I use it, so I head back towards where they were. Nobody’s there. And I don’t see him in the woods between us. If he was near Angeline she’d at least help him get back, whatever happened. But that doesn’t make sense. There’s nothing for him to hurt himself on.

I go back into the woods, slowly looking around. There’s a piece of cloth caught on a log. But no blood, or even signs of anyone having fallen on something as far as I can tell. I step over it and almost fall down a now visible staircase. I step back, behind the log and it disappears again. Okay. Enchanted stairs. This can’t be a good thing. I definitely can’t just leave him there. Enchanted stairs lead to enchanted places and being in an enchanted place with a broken limb or even just a sprained ankle is not a good thing.

I pull a ribbon off my waist and tie around the very visible log in a very tightly knotted bow. It’s bright blue so it won’t be hard to miss if we’re not back before people come looking for us. What if it vanishes once I’m down it? What if it’s only one way? Maybe a rope or something. Not that I have a rope. I have a massive amount of linen petticoats, though. I slip them off and start tearing strips all the way around. I tie one to a nearby tree and keep ripping and tying pieces together all the way down the stairs. There doesn’t seem to be a door at the bottom, though the ground of the path below it is definitely sloped enough to explain how it felt like him falling down a hill.

“Rick?” I call, still lengthening my makeshift linen rope. The stairs are still present behind me. “Can you hear me?”

“Sahar?” There he is, in a little field near the bottom on the slope, well off the path. Alright. I have the rope, the stairs are still there, and I can see him very clearly trying to sit up. I’m a little sore and have a tiny head ache so he must be battered all to pieces. Good.

“Just stay put, I’m coming.” I slowly go down to him, not letting go of the rope, lengthening it as I go.

“Sahar, I’m so sorry.”

“We are not talking about this.” Oh god was that my mother’s voice coming out my mouth? “Just stay put.” I get enough length done to tie it loosely around his waist and keep it going until it gives enough slack for me to keep hold of it and still reach the stream I see nearby. Actually some of the saplings next to the river would probably look better. It looks very clear, and he’s bleeding so he’ll need some emergency care. There are some good sized branches up near the path so I can probably make him a splint. “And be quiet.” Thankfully for my sanity, he keeps his mouth shut and lets me take a look at his leg. It’s very very broken and the ankle is at the very least sprained. It might be broken as well. If he was going fast he would have missed a lot of steps. Possibly even landed on the bottom foot first. He’s lucky he didn’t break his neck.

He’s making that face. I can see it out of the corner of my eye. That sad guilty looking one when he’s done something to upset me. Does he think that’s going to help anything? Maybe if it wasn’t Angeline. It’s not even that she’s my cousin. It’s that she’s Angeline! He knows I practically hate her. He knows it. How could he… I stop and take a breath. I need to stay calm. I don’t want to make things worse by tying a bandage too tight or being too rough.

“Give me your sword.” I hold out my hand. He just looks at me. “Give. Me. Your. Sword.” He starts to draw it from the sheath, “No, the whole thing, belt and everything. I know you know how to unbuckle your belt.” He turns a little red. I don’t quite feel sorry for that comment. I buckle it around my own waist, tie the tail end of the linen rope and head to the stream.

It’s probably close to sacrilege to use a blade this good as an axe but I don’t exactly have anything else. I submerge the remains of my petticoats into the stream. There’s a large shadow running across the bottom, like a log or something. But there’s nothing in the water, and the sky above is just a flat grey, no clouds or anything. I’m not sure how there’s even any light really. The long lumpy shadow just continues on down the stream. Nothing comes of it. Okay. We probably shouldn’t stay here too long.

I go back and put the wet heap in his arms, which I know are nothing more than a little bruised, and get to work, cleaning up and bandaging his leg and ankle. I have to cut the saplings down to size a little more but they make a decent splint.

“Come on, I’ll help you up the stairs again.”

“How did you get them to.. Sahar!” he yells a warning. I grab the sword and turn around slashing as I do so. The blade slices through most of a large wet paw of something that looks like a wet fuzzy alligator bear thing. When I manage to yank it back out again, the other one claws into my shoulder, knocking me back over Rick. My left arm can’t hold onto the hilt anymore. Can I hold it with just my right? I’m going to have to. Oh god that mouth is big, and that roar is loud as thunder. I kick out with my leg to where it’s knee should be. That knocks it off balance so I kick the other one. When it falls forward or lunges at me I’m not sure, I hold the sword up and let it’s own weight drive it through what I hope is someplace vital.

Oh god it’s so heavy, and my shoulder hurts so much at least until it goes oddly numb, as does my arm. Thank god I have stupid strong jumbo man legs. I manage to kick it off to the side and get up. Hopefully I didn’t do any more damage to Rick by falling on him. If I did I couldn’t feel it over the pain I was already in.

“We need… we need to get out of here.” I manage to get up to my feet and put the sword back.

“Your..”

“It’s fine. Just be quiet and try to get up.” I go to his uninjured side and try to help pull him up to his feet without hurting him more. “Lean on my.. Lean on my shoulder. The good one.”I manage to get my good arm around his back.

“You’re bleeding.”

“I’m out of bandages, too. I just need to get home. That’s all. Come on.” Everything seems a little fuzzy, but somehow we make it up the stairs without passing out. And to the back stairwell where there’s a guard coming from inside adjusting his pants. Hopefully he was just going to the bathroom. But it’s okay. We’re back now. We’re safe. He’s safe. Safe.