Apathy & Vigour

Spring 1870

Jarvisfield, Queensland, Australia

The sun was shining high in the sky, its rays beating down with force on any and all beneath it. At the rear of the Brone station house, several yards across the dry, barren field, Tristen Brone stood on the back of the dray parked alongside the old feed shed made from well-worn, corrugated iron. He had been unloading hay for the past hour, and he was starting to feel quite exhausted.

Throwing the bale he held in his hands to his companion on the ground, he took a moment to catch his breath and wipe the sweat from his brow. Glancing around at the vastness of his father’s property, he couldn’t help but notice just how much it had suffered in the present drought. What were once paddocks of green pasture, were now just dust.

“You would think with the profits your father has made in the last year, he’d be able to build a better place to store these bales,” Jacob Fergus commented as he caught the bale of hay Tristen had thrown him and stacked it with the growing pile in the shed.

“You would think in this heat my father would have gotten one of the workers to do this instead of his only son,” Tristen griped as he picked another bale up and threw it toward his friend.

“Makes sense though,” Jacob remarked in a sarcastic tone. “Why pay someone to do this when he can get you to do it for free?”

“Father said something about teaching me the value of what we owned,” Tristen explained. “He told me I needed to learn the struggles that are incumbent to obtain such profit.”

Stacking the bale in the shed, Jacob stopped for a moment, his hands on his hips as he tried to catch his breath. “So why am I here? I assure you, I’m already well educated on struggle.”

Tristen also stopped to catch his breath, the heat of the day having already drenched his shirt in perspiration. “I owe you one for staying and helping me this morning. I swear I’ll pay you for your time once I receive my allowance.”

“So other than ensuring I got to endure the joys of North Queensland heat, why exactly did you beg me to stay and help you load this lot?”

Tristen picked up another bale and threw it to his friend. “I have an appointment today that I can’t afford to miss. That’s why I asked Father to get one of the workers to do this, but he seemed to care very little about my plans.”

“Plans?” Jacob asked. “A meeting with a woman I assume?”

Tristen nodded.

Jacob stacked the bale he was holding. “Maybe you should’ve just told him that you were meeting Amanda. I’m sure then your father wouldn’t have kept you here. After all, it was he who arranged your engagement to her in the first place.”

Tristen held the bale in his hands, thinking about just how much he should confess. He didn’t like keeping secrets from his best friend, but nor could he figure out a way to tell him about the woman he’d been having an affair with these past few months.

“I’m not meeting Amanda,” he finally said, throwing the bundle of hay toward his friend. It would have been so easy for him to lie, but he was tired of all the deception.

“Your father is going to skin you alive if he discovers you’re jeopardizing the marriage he arranged for you,” Jacob said, stacking the bale. “Amanda Dix is a good match. Her family owns some decent property too. You’re a fool to risk all that.”

“I didn’t ask for this marriage,” Tristen said, wiping the sweat from his brow on the sleeve of his shirt. “Nor are my desires for a woman controlled by the amount of cattle stations she may bring with her to the marriage bed.”

“I doubt your father’s going to care about any of that when he finds out you’ve been seeing other women. He will rip shreds from you, and you know it.”

“I haven’t been seeing women though,” Tristen corrected him, the hay bales momentarily forgotten. “There’s only been one woman.”

“For how long?” Jacob asked, his hands on his hips.

“It started about eight months ago at the autumn equinox party my father held here at the station.” Tristen saw the look of disapproval on his friend’s face. “I know what you’re going to say, but I didn’t plan any of this. Nor do I want to hurt anyone, but I can’t stop what I feel for this woman. She’s unlike anyone I’ve ever been with before.”

“You are engaged though.”

Tristen nodded, a slight pang of guilt filling him. “I’ve tried to talk to my father and tell him I want out of this arrangement with Amanda, but he refuses to listen.”

“And what happens if this woman you’ve been sleeping with falls with child?” Jacob asked.

Tristen sighed heavily. “I don’t care. She’s everything I’ve ever wanted in a woman. She makes me smile, and she is so passionate.”

Jacob walked over to the few remaining bales. Grabbing one, he walked back to stack it in the shed. He turned back to Tristen. “Your father is likely to disown you. You do realize that, don’t you?”

Tristen feared his father wouldn’t be the only one who would no longer want anything to do with him once the identity of his lover was revealed. Studying Jacob, he thought about how long they had been friends. It was a friendship that would disappear in a few minutes once Tristen told his friend that the woman he’d been sharing a bed with was in fact Jacob’s younger sister, Amalie.

“She’s worth it,” Tristen exclaimed truthfully, throwing the last bundle of hay to his friend. “She’s the most intoxicating woman I’ve ever been with. I would give up everything for her.”

Jacob caught the bale and stacked it with the rest. Turning to face his friend, he wiped the sweat from his brow on the sleeve of his shirt. “And have you told this beauty about your engagement yet?”

Tristen jumped down from the dray, his boots hitting hard on the dusty ground. “She’s never asked, so I’ve never told.”

In truth, he was too fearful to tell Amalie about his fiancée. Even if he confessed his growing love for Amalie, Tristen was certain that once he told her about Amanda, Amalie would damn him to every hell that existed before running away from him, and his bed, for good. He wasn’t ready for that to happen yet. He wasn’t sure he ever would be.

Jacob walked over to him, his hand resting on his shoulder. “From my experience, women don’t tend to like finding out they’re the second choice, especially when they overhear it from the gossips in the town.”

“She isn’t second though,” Tristen argued, turning to face his companion. “She’s my everything.”

Jacob’s hand dropped back to his side. “If you care about this woman as much as you’re claiming to, she deserves to know about Amanda.”

“And what if she never finds out about my arranged marriage?” Tristen asked, knowing the foolishness of his words even as he said them.

Jacob laughed, walking over to sit on the side of the dray, his hands coming up to push his brown hair away from his face. “She will. She is a woman, and they find out everything, especially what you don’t want them to know.”

Tristen went to join his friend. “You sound very certain about that,” he remarked as he too sat on the dray.

“Oh, I am,” Jacob assured him. “I know how good my sister is at finding out secrets.”

Both men laughed, though Tristen felt anything but humoured. He wanted to tell Jacob about his relationship with Amalie. Had he not promised her that he would keep their affair a secret, he would have told Jacob already. Sitting there alone with his friend, Tristen began to contemplate if he should just tell him and be done with it. Nervousness filling him, he wondered if perhaps he should work the conversation away from the matter and give himself time to think how best to word things so he didn’t risk losing his best friend.

Tristen stared at the ground. “I haven’t seen Amalie in a while,” he said in what he hoped was a casual tone, although what he was saying was a lie. “How is she?”

Jacob looked across to face his friend. “She is well,” he answered. “Though I was certain she mentioned seeing you just the other day.”

Tristen shook his head, knowing he needed to cover his lie. “She obviously has me mistaken for someone else.”

Jacob’s brown eyes narrowed as he studied Tristen. “Amalie rarely confuses people. Not to mention she has known you nearly as long as I have.”

His friend was right, which made the confession he needed to make even harder. How was he going to explain that despite their association since they were fifteen years old, Tristen had just come to admit in the last few years that Amalie wasn’t only his best friend’s sister? She lit a flame in him that, no matter how he tried, he couldn’t extinguish.

It was that night about eight months ago, her hand holding his and lifting his cut finger to her lips, sucking away the blood, that was his complete undoing. She stirred a hunger deep within him unlike any he thought existed. Lifting his hand to her face, his fingers had caressed the soft skin of her cheek, marvelling at how silken she felt. He had expected her to pull away from him, reminding him of etiquette and his required behaviour. What he received was her lips on his as she went about pulling his shirt from his trousers, her hands sliding underneath to feel his naked skin.

Tristen shut his eyes, remembering how complete he felt lying in her arms. It was as if he belonged with her...at least when they weren’t in public. The distance she insisted should stay between them in the public eye pained him. It made him wonder exactly what he was to her. What if she only wanted a brief fling with him? That thought stabbed at his heart, but he also knew it was a possibility.

Opening his eyes, he continued to stare at the ground. “I’m not anybody important to Amalie. I’m just her brother’s best friend. Certainly not someone who would stand out to her what with all the men flocking to her, bidding for her attention.”

Jacob laughed slightly. “You might have a point,” he uttered. “That said, she seems to show little interest in any of the men my father throws at her, other than a few shared smiles and almost practised flirting.”

Tristen turned to him. “Surely there have been some who have taken her interest?”

Jacob shook his head. “There’s even one man who has been calling on her quite regularly of late, but always she declines his offers. It’s gotten so bad that now she just refuses to see him altogether.”

“Who is he?” Tristen asked, genuinely curious who this man was stalking his lover.

Hearing footsteps behind them, Jacob turned, pointing subtly at the man approaching them. “That would be him,” he said quietly, jumping down from the dray.

Tristen also jumped down, turning to see who his friend had pointed out. Before either of them could say anything further, a man about their age stopped in front of them. He was dressed in a very expensive-looking suit, his polished shoes now covered in dust.

“Business must be bad if the owner’s son is stacking hay bales,” the man commented.

Tristen wiped the sweat from his brow on the sleeve of his shirt. “I’m assuming you two have already met.”

Jacob shook his head. “Not officially. No.”

Tristen thought that was odd. “Jacob Fergus, may I introduce an old school companion of mine, Bastian Tanner.”

Jacob extended a hand, offering a handshake, but Bastian just looked at the dirt on the slim man’s palm and turned his attention back to Tristen.

“I thought big station owners such as you would have enough money to employ someone to do such filthy work?”

Though he agreed, Tristen didn’t like the man’s condescending tone.

“What are you doing out here, Bastian?” Tristen asked, his hands on his hips.

“Father had some business to attend to with your old man. I thought I’d come along for the ride.”

“Your father doesn’t include you in the family business?” Jacob asked, a contemptuous glare on his face.

Tristen expected the tart remark from his friend, especially after Bastian had looked down his nose at Jacob as if he were some peasant.

Bastian’s facial expression changed, anger showing as he glared at the two men. From experience, Tristen knew what kind of temper Bastian usually had, so he prepared himself for any amount of insults to be targeted at them both. He even expected some sort of physical violence. But before that could happen, a loud voice called out to Bastian.

“You idiot boy, where the hell are you?” they heard old Mr. Tanner yell.

As if a fire had been lit under him, Bastian turned quickly and ran off in the direction of his father.

“He’s a friend of yours?” Jacob asked, his gaze following the departing man.

Tristen shook his head, his gaze also following him. “As I said, we went to school together.”

“And now your fathers are business partners?”

“Not anymore,” Tristen explained. “Bastian’s father has no head for business. Some years ago, he lost my father a lot of money. After that, Father was adamant he would have nothing to do with him. If I had to guess why he was here now, I’d say the old man has done a bad deal and wants my father to bail him out.”

“Do you think he did?” Jacob asked.

Tristen turned to look at his friend. “It doesn’t look that way.”

“Probably for the best then that Amalie keeps refusing the son’s offers.”

Tristen nodded. “I did hear talk that Bastian beat a woman once. Nearly killed her. Of course, when he was confronted, he denied it.”

“Do you think he did it?” Jacob asked.

Tristen nodded. “Bastian treats people as vessels to supply him with what he wants, be it money or sex or whatever else he desires. If they can’t give him what he wants, he does his best to destroy them.”

“I don’t understand why any man would do such a thing.”

“Bastian can’t see why he has to work to obtain the comfortable life he so craves,” Tristen explained. “Even at school, he thought such a lifestyle was owed to him. Almost like he deserved it.”

“Does he know about his father’s failing business?”

Tristen shrugged. “I doubt he’d listen even if the old man tried to tell him. Suffice it to say, he’s not a nice person. Your sister deserves a man much better than a maggot like that.”

“She could also do without a beau that will bring with him more financial problems.”

“Still no luck trying to turn the family business around?” Tristen asked.

Jacob shook his head. “That’s why Father is so keen to find Amalie a husband as soon as possible. He’s sure if he can find her a profitable match, it should be enough to save what little we have left.”

“Have you told Amalie any of this, or is she just goods to be auctioned to the highest bidder?”

Jacob didn’t look amused by that remark, nor had Tristen expected him to be. Still, it was how Tristen felt. He didn’t like the idea of the woman he had been sharing time with being bartered off to save a property.

“I hardly think you’re in any position to be passing judgment,” Jacob chastised him. “After all, you’re engaged to be wed, yet you’ve just finished telling me that you’ve been busy warming the bed of another woman.”

“Touché,” Tristen uttered, knowing what his friend said was right.

Walking over to the water pump, Tristen started to operate it until the water began to flow. He leaned down and placed his head under the cold liquid, the heat in his head instantly vanishing. Lifting his head, he shook the water from his hair.

“Are you and your parents still coming to my father’s gathering tonight?” Jacob asked.

Tristen turned to him. “Of course we’ll be there. I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

Jacob walked over to the water pump. Operating the device, he also placed his head under the flowing, cool liquid. When he lifted his head, he turned to Tristen. “I shall see you there then,” he muttered before walking over to his horse. “Maybe you could bother yourself to introduce me to this young lady you seem so smitten with.”

Tristen watched him go. There was so much his friend didn’t know. So much he couldn’t know. If Jacob were to learn the truth about the woman Tristen was meeting with in secret, then their friendship as he knew it would change forever. That was something he didn’t want. Jacob was his best friend in the entire world...aside from Amalie.

Rushing to the house, he went to his room to wash and make himself more presentable. He couldn’t go meet Amalie smelling like a cattle yard. Rinsing the soap from his body, he reached for a towel and patted himself dry. As he fastened his jeans, he could feel his eagerness growing. He had been looking forward to meeting with Amalie since he’d left her bed yesterday.

Reaching for his shirt, he thought back on Jacob’s words to him as he’d left. Smitten. Tristen was and he knew it. He could think of little else other than the beauty that was waiting for him at the deserted stone mansion on the edge of town that had belonged to his family since they settled in the area. It was her idea to meet there, fearful that her brother might find them together otherwise. Tristen agreed immediately, so desperate to continue meeting with her that he would have gone along with any suggestion she made.

Finally looking more presentable for his rendezvous, he hurried to the stables and his waiting horse. Quickly pulling himself up into the saddle, he turned the animal in the direction of the stone mansion. He didn’t try to hide what he was doing. He knew no one would question him going there, despite the common knowledge that the place was deserted. It was his responsibility to go there every couple of days, or at least to the paddocks surrounding the house, to check on the cattle his father still kept there. The last few months though, he saw very little of the cattle, his attention instead being drawn to the lustrous woman he met there.

To be honest, the meeting place wasn’t what he wanted; he thought Amalie deserved a place so much grander to be made love to in. Still, it was all he had to offer her at the moment, at least until he could free himself of his engagement and hopefully convince his father that a marriage to Amalie would be much more welcomed.

Upon arriving at the mansion, Tristen immediately saw the ribbon tied around a branch of the yellow tea tree at the front of the house and he knew Amalie was already waiting for him inside. He dismounted from his horse and threw the reins over the railing before stepping up to the already open front door. Stalling for a moment, he let out a shaky sigh. He wanted this to be the night he asked Amalie to marry him, but before that could happen, he would have to tell her about Amanda. Stepping into the house, his gaze going to the auburn-haired beauty standing in the dim lamp light, he knew he would have to handle this evening with care. Should Amalie turn away from him, it would break his heart.