Five Years Of Holding In
_Five Years of Holding It In_
The dream always came the same way.
Blood on snow.
My mother’s hand, cold and open.
My father’s eyes, staring at nothing.
“Mommy, Daddy, wake up,” I whispered to their Still bodies. “You promised me Disneyland in the human world”
“Grandma, tell them to wake up.”
They never did.
I woke with my face wet and my chest tight, the beep of my old alarm clock cutting through the nightmare.
5:00 AM. Eighteenth birthday.
The day I was supposed to shift. The day the Moon Festival started.
“Happy birthday, Amelia,” I told myself. The words felt like a lie.
My grandmother always said I was a blessing from the Moon Goddess. We shared the same birthday. I thought it was just coincidence.
Maybe the Moon Goddess had a cruel sense of humor.
I moved on autopilot. Shower. Maid uniform. Hair in a messy bun. The mask I wore every day.
My to-do list was already playing in my head:
_Avoid Jason.
Greet Alpha Zack.
Sweep the east hall before the Festival.
Sneak into the woods tonight. Shift.
Find an apartment. Get out._
_Hi._
I dropped the comb.
“What the—who’s there?” My voice came out shaky.
_It’s me. Your wolf._
My heart slammed against my ribs.
“I'm Layla,” She whispered.
_Layla._
The name settled in my chest like it had always been there. Warm. Protective. Wild.
_Layla._
I pressed a hand to my mouth to stop the laugh that threatened to break out.
After eighteen years of silence, of being “the wolfless omega,” I wasn’t alone anymore.
I had a wolf.
I had a name.
I had a chance.
---
The palace was quiet at dawn. Too quiet.
After the Luna died, Alpha Zack gave me a job to keep me safe. I couldn’t let Grandma be a burden, so I moved her to the Silver Haven home. Better care, better food, people who didn’t spit when they saw her surname.
Today I was moving out. For real.
My own apartment. Grandma with me. No more sleeping h. No more hearing Jason’s footsteps and freezing.
Half the bullying would stop if I wasn’t under the same roof as him.
I didn’t want to stay in Silver Moon Pack. Not after everything.
After high school, you either moved into the Pack House or found your own place. The Pack House was huge—500, 700 werewolves living, working, training. Health care, decorations, social work, security.
Alpha Zack built it all. He was the kind of Alpha who remembered every child’s name and still came to the night shift to check on the guards.
I hated that I owed him. I hated that if I’d never come here, his Luna would still be alive.
I hated that his son made sure I remembered it every day.
This was my last year. One year, then I’d move to the human world, study, disappear.
The only people I’d miss were Alpha Zack, Princess Lily, and Daniel.
Daniel was the only one who didn’t look at me like I was dirt. He’d sneak me chocolate, sit with me when the maids ganged up on me, and never asked for anything back. I always refused his gifts. It felt wrong to take kindness I didn’t deserve.
I reached my door and was about to open it when the door flew open before I could open it.
“Surprise!”
Princess Lily barrelled into me, arms around my waist. Behind her were three maids holding boxes, trays, and a cake that looked too expensive for the palace kitchen. Alpha Zack followed, smiling in that tired, proud way he always did.
“Good morning, Amelia,” he said.
“Good morning, Alpha.” I bowed, heart pounding. “Is… is everything okay?”
He chuckled. “We came to wish you a happy birthday.”
My birthday.
No one knew my birthday. I told Daniel two years ago and made him swear to never tell anyone. It was the one day I didn’t want pity.
Lily grinned like she’d solved a mystery. “I remembered! We played truth or dare two weeks ago. I dared you to tell me your birthday.”
Smart. Too smart for a five-year-old.
Before I could ask about the apartment, a maid rushed in, holding a black box with silver trim.
Jason’s crest was stamped on the top.
The room went silent.
Jason never gave gifts. Jason gave bruises.
I opened it anyway. In front of everyone. If it was a prank, I wanted witnesses.
Inside was a letter. His handwriting. Sharp. Angry.
> _Dear Amelia Logans,_
>
> _You’ve finally used your charm to make my father and sister organize you a damned birthday. Who cares about some fool who always seeks pity with that face of yours?_
>
> _I just wanted to wish you the saddest birthday and warn you._
>
> _Do you think you can leave this place after a year? Screw your plans. You’re staying here in this pack with me._
>
> _And if you think you’re going to escape, then I’ll have no choice but to beat up that stinky old grandmother of yours to death._
>
> _Wishing you the saddest birthday ever,_
> _Yours sincerely,_
> _Jason_
The paper shook in my hands.
Tears burned, but I swallowed them. I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction. Not in front of Lily. Not in front of Alpha Zack.
How did he know about the apartment?
How did he know about Grandma?
The only place I wrote that was my diary.
He read it.
Of course he did.
“Alpha,” I said before my voice could break. “I’m leaving.”
“What?” His face fell.
“I’m getting an apartment. Grandma’s getting older. She needs me. I’ll start working at the Pack House tomorrow.”
He looked at me for a long time, then sighed. “We’ll miss you. Especially Lily.”
“I’ll see her every day,” I said, ruffling Lily’s hair. “She can come for sleepovers.”
“Really?!” Lily’s eyes lit up.
“Yes, sweetie.”
Alpha Zack nodded. “You’ll attend the Moon Festival tonight. We’ll give you a proper goodbye.”
I agreed. What else could I do?
Lily tugged my sleeve. “Can I come house hunting with you?”
“Of course.”
We cut the cake. Everyone sang. For three minutes, it felt normal. Like I was just a girl on her birthday, not the girl everyone blamed for a death.
Then Daniel burst in, panting.
“Wait! You can’t eat without me!”
He was holding a large box. Inside was a lamp. Sleek. Modern. The kind that cost more than my monthly salary.
Inside that box was a smaller one. A half-moon necklace. Silver, delicate, with a tiny crescent pendant.
“This is a pair,” Daniel said, pulling out the other half from his pocket. “When you turn yours on, mine lights up too. So you’re never alone.”
He clasped it around my neck himself. His half rested against his chest. A full moon, split between us.
My heart did something stupid. It fluttered.
“Thank you,” I whispered.
He fed me the first bite of cake. I fed him back. The room laughed. For once, no one was sneering.
After everyone left, Daniel and Lily helped me pack the gifts and clean up. They waited in the garden while I changed out of my maid uniform. Oversized hoodie. Worn jeans. Hair in a messy bun. I didn’t want attention.
I was almost to the garden when a voice stopped me cold.
“Hey, birthday girl.”
Jason.
I didn’t stop walking.
“Are you deaf?” He caught my wrist and spun me around. His grip was tight. Not enough to bruise. Not yet.
Up close, he looked different. Sharper jaw. Darker eyes.
And that scent—cedar and storm and something dangerous—hit me like a punch.
My body reacted before my brain could stop it. Heat low in my belly. A pulse between my thighs.
A wet, traitorous ache.
What the hell?
I jerked back, breath hitching.
He saw it. Of course he saw it. His eyes darkened, pupils blowing wide.
For a second, the hatred was gone.
What was left looked hungry. Possessive. Terrified.
“Don’t look at me like that,” I whispered.
“Like what?” His voice was low, rough.
“Like you want to devour me.”
His jaw clenched. He let go of me like I burned him.
“Get out of my sight.”
I ran.
My legs carried me to the garden on autopilot. Daniel and Lily were waiting, laughing. Normal. Safe.
But all I could think about was Jason’s face.
The way he looked at me like I was something he wanted to destroy and claim at the same time.
I’d never felt that way before.
Not with Daniel.
Not with anyone.
And it terrified me.
Tonight was the Moon Festival.
Tonight I’d shift.
Tonight, I had a feeling, everything would change.
---
