The loneliness tax
Roxie's POV
"I will never settle for less."
That has become my daily mantra lately. Honestly, why should I even settle for less in the first place? I’m just a girl, and by default, I should be pampered and treated like royalty. So yes, I am standing my ground.
But if I’m being completely honest, I knew from the very beginning that it wasn’t going to work out with my last situationship. Looking back, I seriously wonder where I got the audacity to keep pushing forward despite seeing one very clear, blinding red flag. But I still chose to enter the relationship anyway.
I guess I’ve just been too lonely for a long time, and I reached a breaking point where I couldn’t bear the isolation for one more day. All my friends were already in serious, lovey-dovey relationships, and I was getting seriously choked by their romance left, right, and center. I wanted to feel loved and cherished too. I wanted to get the undivided attention of someone’s son all to myself, to have that one person I could call at any time of the day just to disturb. I was in such a desperate hurry to enter this thing called a relationship.
You’re probably wondering what I’m even saying by now. Alright, let me stop speaking in riddles and go straight to the point. Let’s take it back to some months ago—precisely five months ago. Wow, I can’t believe it’s actually been that long.
At the time, I was having major, unbearable issues with my roommate. And if there is one thing you should know about me, I do not like stress, issues, or confrontation at all. Actually, my ultimate coping mechanism is to run away when things aren’t going my way and are spinning out of control. I will literally just pack my bags, disappear, and take some time off.
Staring at my packed bags, the toxic energy in my room was suffocating. I decided I needed to call my babies—the twins, Valerie and Vivian.
A little backstory about these girls: we’ve been closest friends since year one on campus. Since then, we’ve shared this unbreakable bond, to the point I sometimes call myself their triplet. Surprisingly, our birthdays are just a week apart, so the whole friendship always felt kind of magical.
"Hi my loves!" I shouted into the phone the moment the call connected, forcing a burst of enthusiasm. I had dialed Vivian’s number. I always wonder why those two are constantly attached at the hip, but I guess it’s because they are twins.
"Hmm, this girl! So you actually remembered us today, after how many years?" their voices blasted back through the speaker in perfect, synchronized drama.
"Don't be offended, I’ve been so busy," I lied. And I knew it was a lie, and they probably knew it too. What was I even busy with? Busy doing absolutely nothing but wallowing in my own thoughts.
As usual, they said "no problem" and forgave me instantly. Awww, my babies.
"I’m coming over tonight," I declared. I just desperately wanted to escape my roommate’s endless drama.
"No problem," they replied smoothly. "Just bring some foodstuff along because there is literally nothing to eat in this house."
Huh.
There is always nothing to eat in that house. It’s a permanent state of emergency over there. I really think these girls are just bent on draining me every time I visit. But what can I do? They are my beloved babies, so I can’t exactly throw them away.
"Alright, I’ve heard," I said, using the lowest, most defeated voice I’ve ever heard myself use.
Deep down, I wasn’t ready to take any foodstuff there because I couldn’t stand their attitude, but they are still my girls. I’m not weird, I’m just me.
I packed my bag and took just two cups of rice, since that was the absolute maximum I could spare from my own rations. I threw in some emergency garri too, just in case things turned sideways.
Even though their hostel was perfectly within walking distance, there are some specific people I was actively avoiding on campus. I didn’t want to mistakenly meet them on the road and start exchanging fake pleasantries, so I decided to just take a cab.
"Hey my babies!" I screamed the moment I reached their door, trying to lift the mood.
Absolute silence.
I didn’t get any reply, so I just barged into the room—only to meet these girls sprawled on the bed, acting completely pathetic and half-dead. I knew the script inside out because it wasn’t their first time putting on a whole performance for my arrival.
I entered, dropped my bag, brought out the two cups of rice, and asked what they were planning to cook. Still, no response. Dead silence.
"What is going on?" I asked, looking between them.
Then Vivian, who was pretending to be fast asleep, slowly rolled over and looked up at me with the most pitiful eyes. "There is no foodstuff or kerosene, Roxie. We haven’t eaten anything since morning. We actually had to go to class on a completely empty stomach."
These girls... I smiled inwardly.
So the agenda was clear: I was supposed to arrive, buy kerosene, provide the soup ingredients, and feed them. I was one hundred percent sure they had gotten something to eat earlier and were just exaggerating; all of this was just extra effects to manipulate me.
"So what’s the plan? Are you guys not going to eat?" I asked, trying to keep my frustration in check. "How much do you have on hand? Let’s contribute whatever change we have and buy the kerosene."
"There is no money at all," Valerie muttered from under the blanket, her tone dripping with dramatic, final despair. "I think I’ll just go to sleep like that till tomorrow."
The way she acts about things, I don’t even know what to say. So after running away from my roommate’s toxic drama, this is all the comfort I get? From frying pan straight into the fire.
Lacking the energy to argue or walk to the market myself, I just pulled out my emergency garri. I poured it into a cup, added sugar, and drank it with ordinary kitchen tap water. They didn’t even have proper drinking water, claiming they hadn’t drank water since morning either. Lies, all lies.
I seriously don’t know why I am still in a relationship with these girls. But then again, this is all my roommate’s fault. If she hadn't driven me out, I wouldn't be here. I don’t blame them.
