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Pain in Teenage Love

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Summary

Nancy was eighteen and counting down the days until she could leave, leave the house where her parents' marriage was quietly falling apart, leave the silence she'd built her whole life around, leave the version of herself nobody ever really saw. Then two people saw her. Clara — steady, funny, patient, the kind of love that feels like coming home. The kind that asks for nothing and gives everything anyway. And Ruth — older, certain, dangerous in a way Nancy didn't have a name for. A scent of lavender and caramel that Nancy would know blindfolded for the rest of her life. A presence that rearranged the air in every room she walked into. One felt like safety. The other felt like falling. Nancy didn't choose between them, not really, not when it counted. She just kept loving both, quietly, the way you hold two things in one hand without admitting either one might slip. This is a story about first love, and about the kind of love that comes after first love and complicates everything. About a girl standing on a shore with the tide pulling out beneath her, one foot in a life she was building and one foot in a life she couldn't stop wanting, and the moment she realized the water wasn't going to wait for her to decide. Some people will read this and see themselves. Some won't. But if you've ever loved someone steady while wanting someone you knew you shouldn't, if you've ever felt torn between who you're supposed to become and what you actually feel, Nancy's story might feel like it was written for you. It's honest. It's not always comfortable. But it's real.

Genre
Romance
Author
jossef
Status
Complete
Chapters
23
Rating
n/a
Age Rating
18+

A NOTE BEFORE YOU BEGIN

My first novel, Matelda — In Silence We Forgive, scared me before I even started writing it. It took everything I had to finish. I loved it, and I'm still proud of it, not because it's mine, but because it felt real. The struggle, the hate, the war, the friendships, and most of all, the love, all of it felt true to me in a way that very few of the hundreds of romance stories I've read ever have.

I sent it to friends, and they loved it too. Some of them criticized me, but never the story itself. I know that every story finds people who love it and people who don't, and that's fine. Matelda will always be the book closest to my heart.

After I finished it and put it on Amazon, I needed something to pull me out of that world. Around that time, a friend sent me her diary, pages of notes, nothing organized, just fragments of her own story, and asked me to write it down properly.

So I did. It came together fast, but it felt beautiful, and it felt strong.

She asked to read it first before anything else happened with it. I sent it to her.

A few days later she sent it back. She'd gone through it and cut almost all of the dialogue. She told me it was too painful, that the dialogue burned, reading it back. But she still wanted the story out there. She wanted it to remind people what it was like to be a teenager, and what that kind of love, and that kind of pain, actually felt like.

So here it is.

I wish I could share the first version. I think you'll still feel everything in this one, though, because what's left is honest, unguarded, and real in a way I didn't write so much as carry over.

Thank you for reading.

— Jossef S.


P.S. If this story finds something in you, my first novel, Matelda — In Silence We Forgive, is available now on Amazon. It's a very different kind of story, love against the backdrop of a mafia war, but it comes from the same place this one does.

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