Love, In Fragments

"This is all I could find." Nova says, examining her completed look in the hallway mirror.

Her brother, Leo, steps into view beside her. He's wearing black khakis and a navy button up shirt. And suddenly, Nova felt underdressed in her long sleeved, navy wrap dress.

"That'll do, you look good." Leo compliments his sister.

"Are you sure?" Nova asks, already contemplating other choices from her closet.

"You look great, Nova." Leo says, knowing his sister would lock herself back in her room if they didn't leave now.

"Thanks." Nova mumbles, taking her brother's word for it.

"So, who are we celebrating?" Nova asks her brother as she slips on her coat.

"Cam. It's his birthday." Leo reveals.

"Oh. I like Cam." She says thoughtfully.

Nova had met Camden on several occasions when dropping off lunch at her brother's office. Camden had been kind and sometimes flirted with Nova during her visits.

Nova had planned on staying in and binging on Netflix over chocolate ice cream and greasy pizza, but her brother had other plans. He was tired of seeing his sister cooped up in her room every Saturday night. Nova didn't mind though. She loved staying in and wasn't bothered by the fact that her closest interactions with humans were with fiction characters.

It had always been her and Leo in the fast paced city of New York. Nova had joined her brother in the city five years ago, after taking a gap year before college. Nova wanted a change of pace, a blank page, and New York City seemed like the perfect place to mend a broken heart.

"Happy Birthday to you!"

With closed eyes, Camden blew out the single candle on his perfectly, frosted cupcake. Cheers erupted from the table and Camden smiled in response.

"Here's to 25, Cam!" Someone on the left shouts.

When the cheers died down, Nova wanted to fade into the background. She didn't like being the center of attention and yet, the spotlight always seemed to find her. She had already timed two restroom breaks in between the conversations, to avoid embarrassing herself in front of her brother's co-workers with her lack of social skills.

"You're Leo's sister. Nova, right?" A girl across the table from Nova spoke.

"Yeah-yes! I'm Nova." Nova stammers, offering a timid smile.

"So, Nova, what do you do?" The girl asks.

Nova glanced around the table to see if anyone was listening in to the conversation. She caught curious eyes staring from the far end of the table, but later thought maybe it had been a part of her imagination. She never caught anyone's eye, especially not a good looking guy like that.

"I teach. I'm a teacher." Nova responds, not wanting to elaborate on the details.

It took a lot of questions for Nova to open up to the girl across the table—who she later found out was Andi—but the two girls spent the next twenty minutes getting acquainted with each other. Andi was originally from Ohio and like Nova, came to New York for a change. She started off as an adequate bartender to pay off her student loans, and now works as a software engineer with Leo.

"Excuse me, I'll be back." Nova excused herself from the table at first opportunity.

Andi offers a kind smile as Nova pushes her chair back. She was relieved to have finally escaped the table for her first restroom break. There was only so much Nova could speak, before running out of things to say.

Even after Nova took her social break, she still felt anxious. It was a feeling that wouldn't leave her entire being and she only felt that way when something was about to happen. It made her anxious not knowing what was the cause.

She walked down the narrow, dimly lit hallway that led back to the dining room. Nova inhaled deeply as if going to war and when she planned to exhale, she instead found her breath caught in her throat. On the other side of the room stood the cause of her greatest heartbreak. Lucas Everson.

He held a small child in his arms, no older than two years old. It was obvious the child was his. The dark haired toddler had the same striking eyes Luke did. A young woman in front of Luke took the child, and urged Luke to follow her and all Nova could do was watch her future get ripped out from under her.

The world seemed to sway underneath her feet, pieces of her heart falling into the background. The clamor from the dining room seem to fade, while the room seemed to enclose on her. She couldn't move, she couldn't breathe. All she could do was watch.

"Nova?"

Nova hadn't realized Luke had been walking toward the restrooms. Hearing Luke address her for the first time in five years knocks the wind out of Nova. Suddenly, she's back to where she was when she was nineteen. His eyes are wide and it's clear to Nova how oblivious he was and still is to her feelings.

"Excuse me." Nova barely gets the words out as she pushes past huddled bodies to sneak out the front door.

She had never expected to run into Luke five years later in a busy restaurant in New York. But now she did and her heart was threatening to burst out of the cages.

"Nova! Nova!" Nova hears his distinct voice pouring among the others.

Nova pushed past the front doors of the restaurant, the bitter air enveloping her. She finally exhales, but that didn't seem to relieve the heaviness from her chest. Nova loved seeing Christmas lights decorate the city, but now they were a reminder of what she lost for the rest of the Christmases to come.

"Hey!" She hears his voice again, then someone gripping her shoulder.

Nova blinks back tears and faces her past, uttering his name, "Luke..."

"Why are you avoiding me?" He asks, sounding hurt.

Nova exhales a dry laugh and says, "If you know what's good for you, then you'd stay away from me."

"I don't-I don't understand." Luke blinks fast, trying to understand Nova's words.

"Of course you don't." She says, feeling the emotions overwhelm her at once. "You never did."

"What do you mean?" Luke asks.

"I can't believe you don't know." Nova says in disbelief.

"Know what?" He asks.

"I'm so pathetic." Nova thinks out loud.

"No, you're not." Luke argues.

"I am, because I've been agonizing over this for years now and you don't even—" Nova paused to meet Luke's intense gaze, unable to express her feelings.

"I-I thought I was over this, over you, but seeing you now...I know that I'm not. I'm in love with you, Luke." And with her confession left a heaviness on her shoulders.

"I have been in love with you. I know that we were too young then, but I thought—I thought that the universe would somehow conspire to bring us together. I saw a future with you, I was just waiting for you to see it too...but I see you've already moved on." Nova said.

"Nova, I-"

"I don't want to hear it, Luke." Nova cuts Luke off. "I get it. It's been years. It was stupid of me to think you'd wait on me. I don't blame you, so please understand why I'm walking away."

And with that, Nova walked away. The air seemed easier to breathe in and the heaviness that was once in her chest seems to dissolve the further she walked. But that still wasn't enough to stop the tears from falling down her cheeks, or the heartbreak in her heart.

Hearing footsteps nearing hers, Nova stopped walking and turned around. Her brother Leo comes into view and Nova wants to break down in the comfort of his arms.

"Hey, hey, hey. You alright?" Leo asks, taking note of Nova's shaking hands.

Nova shakes her head, blinks back tears, and manages to say, "No."

Leo wraps his arms around his sister and states, "We should go home."

"No." Nova denies, shrugging him off. "I'll be okay, I promise. Just give me a minute."

"Are you sure? I can wave a taxi down and we'll be on our way." Leo suggests.

"I'm sure. Go inside." Nova assures him with a weak smile.

Leo reluctantly leaves, but does as he's told. After composing herself, Nova puts on a brave face and goes back inside the restaurant. She expects to see Luke on the way, but is relieved when she finds that he disappeared as quickly as he appeared. With no energy left to give, Nova goes straight to the bar and orders wine.

"I'll have some of your house wine." Nova tells the bartender.

The bartender nods and reaches for a bottle over his head.

"I'll have a refill and put hers on my tab." Someone from Nova's left interjects.

Through teary eyes, Nova looks at the stranger. The first thing she noticed was his thick accent. He sounded Irish? The second thing she noticed, was his handsome profile when he turned to face the bartender. He was the same stranger that looked at her earlier. He acknowledges a stunned Nova and sticks out a hand in her direction, offering a full blown smile.

"Hey, Nathan Martin." He says and when Nova doesn't respond, he adds, "I work with your brother."

"Yeah, I know. I've seen you around before." Nova quietly admits, reaching for his hand to shake it. "I'm Nova."

He releases her hand, taking the warmth with him.

"So I've heard." Nathan says, taking the seat next to her.

Nova can feel the stranger's gaze on her, analyzing her, taking note of the dried tear streaks on her flushed cheeks, and the fresh tears brimming at the corner of her eyes.

"Are you alright?" He asks.

Nova wipes a few astray tears off her cheeks and says, "I will be."

"I know it's none of my business, but I saw you talking with that asshole." Nathan reveals.

"Asshole?" Nova sniffles, looking at her glass of wine.

"I assume he's the one in the wrong here to have made you cry." Nathan says.

"I was in love with him. I am in love with him." She laughs dryly, shaking her head. "And he's moved on."

"So, not only is he an asshole, but he's stupid." Nathan says.

"I don't even know why I torture myself over this. I mean if you would've looked at her...and me, you'd know there's no contest." Nova says.

"You're right, there's not. You're clearly the better choice." Nathan responds.

"You haven't seen her." Nova argues.

"I don't have to." Nathan assured her, and Nova lifts her gaze to look at him, surprised.

"Even now as you're crying...you are still the prettiest girl in the room." He says.

Nova rolls her eyes, "You don't have to do that."

"I mean it." Nathan states, sounding so sure of himself.

"You also don't have to keep me company because you pity me." Nova said.

"I don't pity you. I've been where you are and I know how much it sucks not to be loved back." Nathan admits to Nova's surprise, his blue eyes sadden at the memory.

“He broke my heart five years ago, which is what led me to here.” Nova revealed. “I thought I had moved on and then—seeing him made me realize, I was never over it. I ran away from my feelings and reality, only to face all of it years later.” Nova admitted.

"It gets better with time. Eventually, you'll fall in love with someone you don't have to convince to love you, because he already will." Nathan said.

"Have you fallen in love again?" Nova asks him, reaching for her wine glass to take a sip.

"No." Nathan declares, looking away.

"Sometimes I'm convinced I'll never love anyone like I ever loved her, but I don't want to go through the pain of it all over again. It's too much energy." Nathan continues.

"I don't think love is supposed to feel like this." Nova mumbled. "We both deserve better, Nate."

"I think we're going to be good friends, Nova." Nathan says, with a promising smile, tilting his glass of whiskey toward her wine glass.

Nova felt a kick of flutter in her stomach. She wasn’t sure if it was uneasiness or nerves. By the end of the night, Nova forgot why she was sad in the first place. Nathan had a way with words that made her remember what it was like to have your stomach hurt from laughing too much. She felt herself leaning in as the night darkened. And even though she wanted to kiss Nathan when he walked her to her front door at the end of the night, she didn’t. Nathan had been exactly what she needed that night—a friend, and she didn’t want to ruin that.

Over time, Nova and Nathan would get closer and became friends. Little did Nova know her life would change the moment she said yes to her brother's invitation to go to dinner. She hadn't expected to bond with Nathan, much less fall in love with him years later, and she definitely didn't expect him to love her back.