Colour Theory

“To love at all is to be vulnerable.” - C.S. Lewis in The Four Loves.

Sudha was having her breakfast before she left for college, not to study but to teach. Her husband lived in another state for work, leaving her with the duty to care for their one-year-old daughter. She didn’t know when he would return or for how many days he would stay with them. Though her daughter was her biggest treasure, handling a toddler as a working woman is not a game, especially when she had her first-born when she was 37.

Oh, I have to meet the executive director before noon. She checked the message on her phone while chewing the rice. It’s already one year since her transfer from Nexus Institute of Technology at Baghajatin to Nexus Institute of Engineering at Sonarpur; both of them are owned by Nexus Group. The good part was that this Sonarpur branch is nearer to her residency complex at Baruipur.

Shit! It’s already a quarter to nine. I’ve to hurry up. College starts at 9:40. She gobbled the breakfast. The dark cyan sheet on the table became dirty as some bits of her food fell. She was ashamed of this way of eating, as it resembled her daughter’s way.

“Nita!” She called the maid, the only person after Sudha who knew where the things could be found and when the toddler was hungry or anything.

Nita rushed. She was dressed in a jade-green kameez with leaf-green-coloured designs. Her hair was bunned at the top. And her hands—the used nappies. Sudha saw them and said calmly, “After doing that, please, clear the table. I have to hurry or else I’ll be late again.”

Sudha opened the tap; the water was cool. But she didn’t have the time to experience the coldness of the water. She ran to her room to change her dress, almost going to fall. In her room, she turned on the fan and quickly took off her navy top, white long skirt and underwear. The air was kissing her bare skin, but only for a few seconds, as she wore the underwear for outside purposes, her prussian blue kameez and black leggings. She did not have the luxury of feeling every little thing.

After coming out from her room, Sudha took her bags. Her daughter was awake, smiling from Nita’s arm. Sudha went near and kissed her girl. “Juni! Mamma is going to work. Say Goodbye to Mamma.”

Juni laughed and jumped on Nita’s arm.

Sudha rushed toward the main door and left. Without any time wasted, she ran to the elevator but missed it.

Shit! Shit! Shit! She cursed her fate. Having no choice, she used the stairs, getting down from the eighth floor to the ground floor. She checked the time, 9:10, and still didn’t get out from the complex. If these were all her struggles to go to college, she would be happy, but her struggles didn’t end here.

Now, she had to walk for a while until she found the ‘well-maintained’ bridge to get to the opposite directional route by crossing the canal. And then she waited another five minutes for an autorickshaw. She again checked the time, 9:23.

The autorickshaw came to a stop. She took another autorickshaw and waited for three minutes until all seats of the vehicle were filled, as the driver wouldn’t start the vehicle until that. The minute hand of her watch ticked to six, 9:30.

Finally, after another long road, she came to the college, but her anxiety would not stop until she listed her attendance. She hurried, almost running, from the main gate of the college to the inside main building where the attendance machine was. She checked her watch; it was almost 9:40.

She gave her fingerprint. ‘1 minute(s) late’.

Fuck! Why? She checked her watch and then her phone; she really was late. Another late this month, which means more deduction from her salary.

She put her bags on an indigo office chair at her cabin. She rechecked her routine: no class in first period. A moment of peace at last.

She took her time to start her computer, and as the CPU was put on her table, she didn’t have to bend herself to reach under the table. The monitor was turned on; on the lock screen was a coloured photo of Juni in a red dress, and on the home screen was a black-and-white photo of Juni’s face. Sudha smiled, looking at the screen. She slowly turned her face to the left, to the opposite cabin, the cabin of Dr Gauri Chatterjee, her colleague or a friend among all other co-workers in the department. But Gauri had already left for class. She twisted her face as she was now lonely with her little messy cabin.

She thought about visiting the executive director. Then she remembered she had no class until third period at 11:20. She could visit him at a quarter to eleven.

She looked up, towards the fan on her. It was making a funny sound. She was annoyed for a moment; the faculty room of computer science and engineering had air conditioners, but other departments did not. No air conditioners in the faculty room of her department, the department of electronics and communication engineering. Her own cabin was not so good. There were five indigo-coloured office chairs in her cabin; two of them were full of her subject books, one was for her to sit in, another one was captured with her bags, and the last was occasionally occupied with sudden workloads, though at this moment it was empty.

She prepared herself for the visit. She took her phone, a note copy and a pen in case there was anything to write. It is better to go to his AC room than this noise. She thought. The time was 10 am.

“Sir, may I come in?” Sudha said, standing at the entrance of the office room of the executive director.

The ED, Mr Abhijit Kumar Ghosal, was typing something on his computer. With Sudha’s sudden interruption, he raised his face and said, “Oh, Sudha! I didn’t expect you to come this quickly. Please, wait outside for a while until I complete replying to this email. Or you can come back half an hour later.”

Sudha looked at him with an expressionless face and said, “No, sir, I’m waiting outside.”

She was wandering in the hall beside the ED’s office. The hall was bright with golden lights. At the opposite of his office, there was a glass shelf of trophies and other achievements of college. Sudha wasn’t very tall, so she needed to bend her neck more to see the top row of the shelf.

She heard a laugh. It was from the corridor outside the hall. As there was no wall to separate the hall from the corridor, she could clearly see the source. It came from two female students. Sudha didn’t know which student owned that laugh. They went to the elevator and pressed the button to call it.

Young and energetic souls. May they never have a miserable life like me. Sudha sighed.

“Sudha!” the ED called her from his room.

“Nowadays companies seek students from college with better accreditation. So we have to improve our position. I’ve planned many changes for this college. We already had a meeting with the principal, vice-principal, and registrar yesterday. There will be another meeting tomorrow, and I want you to be present there,” the ED said. He was rhythmically tapping his fingertip on the table.

Unlike Sudha’s small cabin, this office room was big and cool because of an AC. Abhijit’s office was neatly organised, with a shelf to keep all books and another small shelf to keep all essentials. His table was a well-functional two-in-one computer and study table.

“Why, sir? I mean what’s my part there?” Sudha asked.

“We have selected you as the leader for this job. This will be long-term work. We will have more programmes in the near future. We will need a representative to talk with accreditation associations. Within a year, we’ve seen you becoming the host or anchor for your departmental programmes. You have an exceptional communication skill.” The ED directly looked at Sudha.

Sudha wanted to say no to him, but his eyes pressurised her. She knew with this work she would be trapped into never-ending workloads. She looked at the bookshelf; she wanted to scream. But she faintly smiled. “Achcha, sir. I will take the lead.”

The ED got excited. “I knew it. You are one of the most responsible professors in our college, though I’ve noticed you’re late today. I think it’s because of household works.”

Sudha smiled funnily—a fake smile. “Yes, sir. Yes, sir.”

“Now, you may leave.”

Sudha stood up and reached the door. Suddenly she was stopped as Abhijit asked, “How is your PhD going?”

“It’s completed. The convocation ceremony of Jadavpur University will be held at the end of this month.” Sudha answered, being genuinely happy.

“Then there will be another programme in our college to celebrate your achievement.” Abhijit smiled back.

Third period started, and so did her class. She moved straight to the room of section A of 2nd year ECE. The thing she hated about herself was her height; she was shorter than all of her students except a few female students who carried the same short-height DNA like her. But fortunately, there was a wooden stage in front of the blackboard. That helped her to extend her height somehow.

‘Electronic devices’ was the subject she was teaching. Today’s topic was the BJT, or bipolar junction transistor. She drew the diagram, pointing to the emitter, base and collector part. She wasn’t a good painter, but drawing academic diagrams was her habit. Her writing was small; only God knew how backbenchers could see what she wrote, or maybe they didn’t care about the notes at all.

She felt the noise from her back. She turned back to see which student made that noise but didn’t find the culprit. She refocused on her drawing. Again, the noise. This time, she realised the source. She looked at the boy who was at the corner of the last bench in the right column.

“You! There! Come here. Come outside.” She didn’t know his name; how could she? It’s only a month since she was taking this batch’s class, specifically only section A.

“Sorry, ma’am, please. It won’t happen again. Please, ma’am, please.” The boy ‘acted’. He tried to show that he was regretting it, but that was all drama. And Sudha knew it.

“COME HERE!” She screamed.

The boy came outside and pleaded again. Sudha looked at him and sighed. She broke the chalk in her hand. A few seconds passed. She finally said, “Do not dare to do that again, at least in MY class.”

The boy turned back to return to his seat. When he turned and saw his friends, he chuckled.

During tiffin time, Mr Mehul Deb, the lab attendant, requested her to take electronic devices laboratory class of group 2 of section B, 2nd year ECE.

“Abhirup Sir doesn’t come today, right?” Sudha confirmed by looking at Mr Abhirup Kumar Patra’s cabin beside Gauri’s cabin. His cabin was empty, though the door was open. Abhirup didn’t close his cabin, even when college was closed.

Sudha was rubbing her right thumb with other fingers. Ah! Whose face did I first see when I woke up today? It’s her own face in the mirror.

“This group is already lagging by a class. Please, take today’s class. Abhirup Sir has even requested,” Mehul insisted.

Sudha took a long breath and said, “Okay.” Though she wanted to say no.

Lab class started from fifth period at 3 pm. Sudha and two lab attendants, Mehul and Mrs Kabita Chowdhury, already came to the device lab. Students were entering. Some students were wondering why on earth this ma’am needed to take their class when they could enjoy Abhirup Sir’s absence.

Sudha started to instruct students on what to do until she was interrupted by late students. It was 3:10. She checked her watch. She didn’t allow the late students to enter the lab. She knew the system could criminalise a small mistake done by unpowered people, but she was a part of the system too.

The late students didn’t protest. They accepted their punishment or maybe ‘reward’.

“So, this is SSG, Sudha Sengupta.”

Sudha heard someone whisper that. She saw a female student whom she previously didn’t notice when all students were entering. Sudha finally saw Kirti Das, who was in a bright red kurta with black jeans, standing out among all the bluish backgrounds.