The Second First Love

For five minutes, I couldn’t make myself take a single step.

I stood at the school entrance, gripping the strap of my backpack so tightly that my hands began to ache.

I wiped my sweaty palms against my pants.

Just a few words.

I’d been repeating them to myself since this morning.

Walk over.

Tell her how you feel.

Even if she rejects you… at least you won’t spend the rest of your life wondering.

I took a deep breath.

I brushed the long fringe away from my eyes and adjusted the collar of my hoodie.

Pointless.

Emma stood a few meters away, surrounded by her friends. As always, she was the center of attention. They were laughing about something I couldn’t even hear.

All I could hear was the pounding of my own heartbeat.

Now or never.

I forced myself to take the first step.

Then another.

“Emma…”

She turned toward me.

The smile on her face faded, replaced by mild surprise.

The chatter around us died almost instantly.

Dozens of eyes turned toward me.

“Emma, do you know him?” one of the girls asked.

Emma studied me for a moment.

Her brows furrowed slightly, as if she were trying to remember where she’d seen me before.

“I’m sorry… should I?”

For a second, I couldn’t find my voice.

“I’m Aiden… We’re in the same class.”

Silence settled over the group.

One of the guys narrowed his eyes.

A second later, a grin spread across his face.

“Wait… Isn’t that Greasy?”

Several people looked at me more closely.

“Holy shit… It is.”

“I didn’t even recognize him.”

“He couldn’t even bother washing his hair.”

Laughter broke out from every direction.

Instinctively, I pushed my fringe back again.

Heat rushed to my face.

I should leave.

It wasn’t too late.

But if I ran away now…

I’d never do this again.

I looked Emma straight in the eyes.

“I… I’ve liked you for a really long time.”

My voice trembled on the last few words.

“I was wondering… if you’d be my girlfriend.”

No one spoke.

Emma parted her lips.

She hesitated.

“Aiden…”

She slowly shook her head.

“I’m sorry… but I’m not interested.”

For one brief moment, I thought that would be the end of it.

I was wrong.

“Seriously, Greasy?” one of the boys laughed. “You and Emma?”

“Is this some kind of joke?”

“Dude, you’re way out of your league.”

The laughter grew louder.

I looked at Emma.

She wasn’t laughing.

She simply stood there.

For a brief moment, our eyes met.

Then she looked away.

That was enough.

The laughter kept growing.

Louder.

Closer.

Soon I couldn’t make out a single voice anymore.

Everything dissolved into one endless ringing.

Beep…

Beep…

Beep…

My eyes flew open.

The next thing I knew, I was sitting upright in bed, desperately trying to catch my breath.

For several seconds, I stared at the ceiling.

My heart was still pounding.

The alarm kept blaring.

I reached over and silenced it.

A year had passed.

Yet that day still refused to let me go.

In just a few hours, I’d be walking into my new school for the very first time.

I sat there for another moment before slowly getting to my feet.

I barely took my first step before my foot caught on a dumbbell lying on the floor.

“Damn…”

I nudged it aside and stepped over the pile of clothes scattered across the room. More dumbbells stood against the wall beside a weight bench and several resistance bands I’d used almost every day throughout the summer.

In the bathroom, I turned on the shower.

The hot water washed away the remnants of the nightmare.

Not the memories.

A few minutes later, I stood in front of the mirror and instinctively adjusted my short black hair.

I studied my reflection for a moment.

Only then did I realize I was smiling.

My eyes drifted to the photograph pinned to the corner of the mirror.

My school photo from a year ago.

The boy staring back at me had a round face, acne covering his cheeks, and long, greasy hair hanging over his forehead.

It was hard to believe that was me.

“I’m never going back to being you.”

I reached for the pills lined up neatly on the sink.

One for my acne.

A handful of supplements.

Finally, I sprayed on the antiperspirant I never left the house without.

“Time for a new life.”

I lightly slapped my cheeks.

“You’ve got this.”

I dried my hair, put on my uniform, and straightened my tie. I had just bent down to put on my shoes when the doorbell rang.

“Aiden! It’s me!”

A smile found its way onto my face.

Noah.

I walked over and opened the door.

My best—and only—friend stood on the other side.

He stared at me in complete silence for several seconds before blinking a few times.

“…Aiden?”

“Who else?”

He remained frozen.

“No way.”

I let out a quiet laugh.

“Are you coming in, or are you planning to stand there all day?”

Only then did he step inside.

I closed the door and went back to putting on my shoes.

I could still feel him staring at me.

“Dude…”

He slowly shook his head.

“You seriously spent your entire summer doing this?”

“I mean…”

He smiled.

“The results speak for themselves.”

He laughed in disbelief.

“You disappear for two months, then open the door looking like… a completely different person.”

I shrugged.

“I wanted a fresh start.”

Silence settled between us.

Noah looked around my room.

Dumbbells and a weight bench stood against the wall. Resistance bands lay neatly rolled up beside them.

Meal-prep containers covered my desk, next to several bottles of supplements.

Piece by piece, it all started making sense to him.

“So that’s why you barely left the house all summer?”

I nodded.

“I had to change.”

Noah looked at me once more.

Then he smiled.

For the first time in a long while, it felt like someone truly believed I could do this.

“Come on. We’d better get going.”

He glanced at his watch.

“I’d rather not be late on the first day.”

I picked up my backpack.

Noah was already waiting by the door.

You’ve got this.

I closed the door behind me and stepped toward my new beginning.

We left the house and headed toward school.

The morning sun had only just begun to warm the streets. The city was slowly coming to life. People hurried off to work while the sidewalks filled with students wearing uniforms just like ours.

“So,” Noah said, “any plans for your first year?”

“Plans?”

“You know. New school. New people. A chance to start over.”

I was quiet for a moment.

“Honestly? I’m nervous.”

I kept my eyes on the road ahead.

“I just don’t want to end up being the outcast again.”

Noah let out a short laugh.

“Relax. You’ve got me.”

“Oh yeah.” I smirked. “Whatever would I do without you?”

We both laughed.

A moment later, Noah’s expression softened.

“It’s a shame you can’t talk to other people the way you talk to me.”

I shrugged.

“We’ve known each other for years. I don’t have to pretend to be someone else around you.”

I fell silent for a second.

“Besides… if you hadn’t been the one to talk to me first back then, I probably still wouldn’t have a single friend.”

A faint smile tugged at the corner of my mouth.

“You saw what my life was like at my old school.”

“I did.”

Noah gave my shoulder a light pat.

“That’s exactly why I’m telling you this time will be different.”

He glanced around the street and grinned.

“I think it already is.”

“What do you mean?”

“Ever since we left your house, girls have been sneaking looks at you.”

I frowned.

“What?”

“I’m serious.”

He laughed.

“I guess you’re still not used to the new you, huh?”

I turned my head almost automatically.

He was right.

A few girls were walking a short distance ahead of us. One of them glanced in my direction, whispered something to her friend, and they both giggled.

Embarrassed, I quickly looked away and ran a hand through my hair.

Not long ago, their eyes would’ve passed right over me.

I just didn’t know whether that made me happier…

or more afraid.

After another fifteen minutes, we finally arrived at the school.

I stopped in my tracks.

The campus was even bigger than I’d imagined. Several wings were connected by glass corridors, wide staircases led to the main entrance, and dozens of students streamed toward the building from every direction.

“No…” Noah said with a smile. “Now that’s impressive.”

I nodded.

“It really is.”

He rested a hand on my shoulder.

“Can you feel it?”

I looked at him.

“Our brand-new high school beginning.”

A small smile found its way onto my face.

“Yeah.”

We started toward the entrance.

The closer we got, the slower my steps became.

“What’s wrong?” Noah asked.

I hesitated.

“I don’t know…”

I glanced around.

“I feel like everyone’s looking at me.”

Noah looked around the courtyard as well.

A moment later, he turned back to me and laughed.

“Looks like someone’s about to become the school’s newest celebrity.”

“Oh, shut up.”

I nudged him with my shoulder.

“You’re really not helping.”

“Alright, alright. I’ll stop.”

He raised his hands in surrender, still smiling.

I looked at the crowd gathered in front of the entrance one more time.

The longer we stood there, the more I wanted to get inside.

“Come on. There are so many people here that if we don’t find the auditorium soon, we’re definitely going to be late.”

I took a deep breath and stepped forward.

Noah caught up beside me.

Together, we crossed the threshold of the school.

The hallways were even bigger than they had looked from the outside.

We passed staircase after staircase, rows of classrooms, and countless intersections as the crowd around us grew thicker by the second.

Noah let out a sigh.

“This school is way too big. They should hand out maps.”

I chuckled.

“The opening ceremony’s about to start. We just have to find the auditorium.”

Noah glanced around the hallway.

“Wait here. I’ll ask someone.”

I nodded.

“Sure.”

He walked over to a small group of students standing a few meters away.

I leaned against the wall and waited.

The hallway buzzed with conversation.

Hundreds of voices blended into one endless murmur.

Then I heard a familiar laugh.

“Oh, come on!”

My heart skipped a beat.

No…

It can’t be.

A second later, another voice reached me.

“Emma always has to get her way.”

Every muscle in my body tensed.

I looked toward the crowd.

Between the students walking past, I caught a glimpse of long, golden hair.

“Hey, don’t say that…”

I’d know that voice anywhere.

Emma.

The world around me suddenly fell silent.

The conversations.

The footsteps.

The laughter.

Everything faded into one long, piercing ring.

I couldn’t tear my eyes away from where the voices were coming from.

“Aiden?”

I didn’t respond.

“Aiden!”

A hand landed on my shoulder.

I flinched.

It was Noah.

He looked at me, concern written all over his face.

“Are you okay?”

Before I could answer, I grabbed his sleeve and pulled him toward a quiet hallway between two classrooms.

Only after we were out of sight of the crowd did I let go.

I was breathing far faster than I should have been.

“Aiden…”

Noah frowned.

“What’s going on?”

I swallowed hard.

“They’re here.”

“Who?”

I glanced back toward the hallway, half-expecting them to appear at any second.

“Emma…”

I swallowed again.

“They’re all here.”