Beatings for Hire
Tick, Tick Tick. The second hand of the clock ticked its rhythmic beat as it completed its rotation, which seemed to be moving even slower than usual. Time crawled at a snail’s pace at Joystick. The all-in-one “Nerd Haven” that was the retail store may have had everything a geek could dream of but the only thing it didn’t have in stock was customers. Boredom weighed heavy against the air and could be felt by every unfortunate employee stuck working. Two employees, however, seemed to have found a way to cure this.
"Is it a car?” asked June as she sat crosslegged on the checkout counter. Her full name was Junebug Suzuki, though she’d rather walk barefoot on broken glass than be called her first name. June was pretty much who you would expect to find working in a place like Joystick. If her usual attire could speak, it would scream “One more round!” as it lost for the tenth time. A Navi fluttered about in the center of her light blue shirt which she had tightly tucked into her black, denim shorts. A pair of black converse adorned her feet and light blue stretched up her legs and nearly reached the scar on her right knee for her socks were as long as the day was. The cute cat faces that embellished her socks smiled as if they had not a care in the world. Her face was an abandoned battleground of old acne scars and D20 earrings pierced her ears. The only makeup painted on her face was winged eyeliner as dark as the night and as sharp as a blade. Her fingernails were trimmed and the light blue polish that smeared them was about a week-old and so chipped, you could play poker with them. A loose ponytail that sat high on her head contained most of her black hair in one spot, with only a handful left to comprise her messy bangs. June slumped as she rested her elbow on her knee and held up her chin with the palm of her hand. An old, weathered friendship bracelet that was once a bright orange slowly slid down her arm. She sat facing away from the rest of the store, her bright blue eyes landed softly on her companion.
“Nope,” said Benni as he leaned back in the chair he stole from the break room, his feet propped up on an unopened box of comics. If June was the first type of person you’d expect to work here, Benjamin Tarek was the second. You would only need to glance at him to know who his favorite hero was. The large portrait of Ben Grimm plastered on his bright orange shirt was a clear giveaway. Underneath, Benni wore a plain, white shirt whose sleeves coated his arms like snow, and caused the tattoo on his right wrist to be difficult to spot. The Roman numerals “XII⋅XV⋅MMI” were sketched into his skin long ago and if translated, would read out the date he was born all those years before. His lower half was covered by dark blue jeans and his feet were shielded from the outside world by his black converse, the same kind June wore. He too had an old, weathered friendship bracelet but he kept his clipped onto one of his right belt loops and his was, at one point, a nice shade of blue rather than orange. A nest of brown hair sat on top of his head and messy bangs drooped down his face, nearly avoiding his eyes. A large chip in one of his right teeth presented itself as he spoke, peeking in and out as his lips moved as if it were playing peek-a-boo. The two were in their second game of 21 Questions, after Benni had easily guessed Master Sword within only a few seconds of the previous round.
“Is it a computer?” questioned June as she leaned forward. She tapped her fingers against her cheek as she thought about what she should ask next. Beside her laid a small bowl of little chocolate candies, which she was graciously gobbling up as they played.
“No, and you should ask more detailed questions.” responded Benni, his green eyes looked upon June and he stared at her while they talked. June picked up one of the small candies she was munching on and expertly tossed it into Benni's mouth. He ate the sweet treat quick and easy and prepared for another to come. Benni and June did not act like typical coworkers for they simply weren’t. Their friendship was leagues beyond that and miles above others. Since the age of five, the duo had been inseparable as if they had been surgically attached at the hip and experienced every waking moment together. Benni and June took the term “best friend” to a complete new level. They shared everything; secrets, food, an apartment, a job, and one lonely brain cell that bounced between their empty skulls. They had been manning this register at Joystick for a good four years now, which had been the longest job they had managed to keep in their twenty four years of life.
“Is it inanimate?” June asked as she arched another candy directly into Benni’s mouth, sinking it in one shot like she had hit a hole in one.
“Nada” Benni replied back, swallowing the confectionery after only a few seconds.
“Dooooooes it have wings?”
“Nope”
“Is it a dragon?”
“I just said it didn't have wings.” His voice was chock full of annoyance.
“Not all dragons have wings dumbo! Have you ever heard of a Komodo dragon!?” June shouted while she insulted Benni, thinking about how dumb he is.
“It's not a Komodo dragon dipwad!!” Benni yelled back, his voice even louder than hers and his thoughts of how idiotic his acquaintance is even stronger.
Their game was then sadly cut short by the sound of the front door swinging open. In walked a man, who stood a towering 6’2, with the body build of somebody capable of deadlifting a truck. His chin and neck were infested with a straggly beard and a small cut just below his eye was still fresh. A look of disapproval mixed with annoyance painted his face as he walked inside and headed towards the register. He glared at the two of them, shooting daggers that pierced their very souls, a look so sharp, you could use it to slice paper. June immediately slid off the counter and onto her feet, standing side by side to Benni as the stranger approached. Worry and fear flooded both their minds and made them shiver with anticipation. This gentleman was certainly not their usual clientele and he definitely didn't look like he was there to pick up the newest game or comic. The two swallowed hard as he arrived at his destination, stopping just short of the counter. The man’s eyes scanned the name tags pinned into their shirts. They were simple, just saying both their names though he did notice Benni’s seemed newer, like he had recently lost it and had to get it replaced. The pair looked up at the stranger in front of them and had to crane their necks to be able to view his face. He was undoubtedly tall for sure but the duo being so short, 5’3 at max, was doing nothing to aid in their assistance. With him being so close, the friends could now see how truly massive he was. Whatever this man wanted…he was going to get.
Benni contorted his face to form an awkward smile, attempting to overlook his nerves, and spoke to the giant, “What can we help you with today?” As soon as Benni posed this question, two arms shot towards them like a bolt of lightning and he clutched his meaty fists around their shirt collars. The stranger's grip was like iron and he hoisted them into the air with little effort, their feet swayed aimlessly like a Newton's cradle.
“Ohh, we’re up here now…” Benni stammered as his body dangled off the ground. For most, this would be concerning. Not many people get treated like handbags in their day-to-day lives. For Benni and June, this was just another Tuesday. For every action, it has an equal and opposite reaction. For these two best friends, the strength and beauty of their friendship came at the cost of the universe seeing them as nothing more than punching bags. The two lived a life of misfortune, misadventure, and misdeeds. The world never smiled upon them but loved to laugh at their misery. So for all intents and purposes, this encounter was up to par with the rest of their lives, but that didn't mean they had to like it.
“Uhm,” Benni slightly lifted his hand as if he had a question. “Before you beat us up, may we ask why you are doing so?” His tone was steady, which was surprising due to his current circumstance.
June quickly added, “That’s a good question.” in the same steady tone. They might not be able to stop what was happening but would prefer if they knew why at least.
The man glared at them for a few seconds as he held them up. Then, his eyes softened. His face quickly morphed from a harsh anger to a soft kindness in a matter of moments. He seemed genuinely surprised as if he had forgotten something.
“Oh. My apologies. I didn’t introduce myself.” His voice was like a pillow, there wasn't a hint of anger that could be found in it. He let go of their collars and the two went down like a sack of potatoes. Their matching converse slammed to the ground, causing them to stumble onto the floor. They awkwardly stood back up, helping each other to their feet as they watched the man pat his own body down as if he were a TSA agent. He seemed to be searching for something.
“I know it’s here somewhere,” the stranger muttered to himself as he continued his hunt for the elusive item. After only a few seconds, his face became as bright as the sun as it lit up. He clearly found what he was looking for and began to pull his hand out of his back pocket. He was grasping a small, white card then proceeded to hand said parchment to Benni.
“My name is Ricky Russo. I work for a business called Beatings for Hire. That’s my card there.” exclaimed the man with a smile on his face.
The two examined the small paper in Benni’s hands. It read “Beatings for Hire” in big bold letters, with the phrase “You pay and we’ll make them pay” written underneath. The card itself was very well crafted. The font was pleasing and elegant, the background was a collection of delicate swirls that didn’t feel cluttered, and the entire thing was laminated to top it off. It was an entirely too professional card for such an animalistic job.
Benni read the words aloud as June looked over his shoulder as she inspected all the finer details, “Beatings for Hire: you pay and we’ll make them pay.” He paused for a moment. As horrendous as his occupation may have sounded, Benni had to admit one thing, “That’s real catchy actually. I’m not even gonna lie.”
“The card looks really nice too! Is that Lavanderia?” June asked with genuine sincerity in her voice. She was incredibly impressed by how carefully crafted this business card was.
“It is!” Ricky exclaimed excitingly. “I made the card myself! Took me about an hour but it’s like I’ve always said ‘You have to take pride in every aspect of your work, especially the little things.’” The pride was so strong in his voice it could replace Atlas for a weekend.
The room was then calm, like they all almost forgot about what this interaction started as. That serenity didn't last long though as Ricky's smile shifted until one more appropriate for a devil and his voice changed from a blanket to sandpaper.
“Now…”Ricky said, his tone now more sinister. The two looked up but it was already too late. Ricky quickly reached over the counter yet again and latched onto the duo’s collars. The pair shot up like rocket ships and defied gravity once more as Ricky held them against their will. Their feet kicked to no avail and their attempts to release Ricky’s grip on them all fell flat.
“Jessica Huxley paid me to beat the pulp out of you two!” He gritted his teeth as he spoke and excitement flowed through his words. Ricky clearly loved his line of work and they were about to feel every ounce of that passion. The pair whimpered and flinched as they hung, helpless to cease his services.
“Jessica Huxley!?” Benni said frantically, his voice a mixture of confusion and fear, “We didn’t even do anything to her! Why would she…Ohhh wait a minute.” His tone shifted into calm realization as his memories came flooding back. They not only knew Jessica, they knew exactly what caused this to transpire. “No no, we did do something to her,” he said calmly, “Yeah that's right.’
“We definitely deserve this.” June stated with a deadpan expression. While the world would seem to have rather them be sore from pain then soar through the air, at least half of their hardships are caused by their own shenanigans. And it would seem like it was time to pay the piper. Ricky’s smile grew wider and his insatiable hunger for torment could be seen deep within his eyes. He pulled them both from behind the counter and slammed them against the nearby wall, their feet never making contact with the ground.
“Wa…Wa…Wait! Wait!” Benni spouted out. Desperation filled him like a glutton fills his gut and his voice became as shaky as a house of cards on the verge of tumbling. “What if we paid you more than what Jessica paid!? Huh? Would you let us go then?”
Ricky glared at Benni. He was annoyed by his attempts to stop his job and certain that two employees that worked at the lowest rated game store in their town could not be able to pay the full amount, let alone more. “She paid me $300”
“We have $12.57” June uttered as she pulled out a wad of crumpled dollar bills and change and presented it to Ricky. She had little to no confidence in this plan but gave a nice smile to try to sell it.
Ricky’s eyes darkened as his grip on their shirts tightened. He turned quickly and flung them behind him with an incredible amount of strength. They flew like dinky model airplanes until gravity caught up with them. Body met tile as they crashed onto the floor. The pair landed square on their backs and the wind was violently knocked out of them. Before they could even react, Ricky was already upon them. He grabbed both of them by one ankle each and dragged them towards the door like a predator drags away their prey.
“You know…” June wheezed as she tried to catch her breath, “I'm starting to regret what we did to Jessica”
“Oh are you?” Benni sneered, his words dripping with sarcasm. They tried to grab anything in their path to halt Ricky’s voyage but it was a fruitless endeavor. Struggling was useless at this point.
Ricky continued his journey outside and pulled the pair around the building. Wedged between Joystick and its neighbor was a small alleyway. It was mostly out of sight to the general public and was the perfect place to finish his day of work. There was an old dumpster that hadn't been emptied all week located on the far side of the walkway and that's precisely where Ricky was headed. He dropped the two off in front of it and June glanced at the large container.
“Oh come on man…” June muttered to herself as she knew what was to come. This wouldn't be the first or the last time the two of them found themselves in the company of other people's trash. It seemed to be a universal truth that if someone was angry with the pair, the day would inevitably end with an impromptu dumpster dive.
Ricky opened the dumpster lid and flies swarmed out in droves and filled the air with their majestic melody of buzzes. He planned to start with Benni, his mouth was much more annoying then June’s. Ricky approached the downed dork when he noticed that Benni wasn't exactly looking at him. He seemed to be looking past him. Ricky got confused and downright curious about what could possibly distract Benni at this moment. What could be more important than the immediate danger in front of him.
Benni’s eyes widened as he was fixated on whatever was behind Ricky. He stared for a few moments but Ricky never turned around. “Holy shit, is that a bald eagle?” Benni muttered out loud, his volume not at all quiet. Ricky didn't move an inch. He just scowled at Benni. His expression changed from confused to annoyed in record time.
“Nice try. There hasn't been a bald eagle spotted in this town since 1973.” Ricky was confident, extremely confident. He stated this as a matter of fact as he could.
“Man, how do you know that!?” Benni tried to throw his arms up out of anger but he was simply too exhausted.
Ricky grabbed the helm of his shirt and lifted it up to expose his body. A large, colorful tattoo of what seemed to be several different bird species forming a heart was set dead center on his chest. “I've been an active bird watcher for 15 years. I know everything there is to know about these winged beauties.” Ricky apparently only had two passions in life, torment and birds. To be fair, even if he had turned around, there would have been no way the two of them could have ran far.
He let go of his shirt and bent down to grab Benni. Ricky picked him up with ease then took a few short steps towards the bin. Benni could see the piles of trash bags, discarded soda cups, and half eaten food the rats and raccoons had started to dine on within. With a heave, he tossed Benni into the open dumpster. Benni landed with a soft thud on a bag that squished underneath him and slightly opened. Ricky then turned his attention to June. Little fight was had as he picked her up too and tossed her in after. June landed beside Benni in between two of her own bags. One of them felt harder like it had been full of old dvd cases or game cartridges, the other was soft and released some kind of mysterious liquid that shot out when she plopped down. The strange substance coated the pair like it was paint on a wall. Ricky looked inside the dumpster and smiled at a job well done. He then grabbed the lid and slammed it shut, shutting the two off from the outside, dusted off his hands, and walked away.
It was pitch black inside the bin, outside of the thin ray of light that shined through the small opening where the dumpster lid met the lip. The dumpster was a melting pot of different scents, each one worse than the last. The horrid smells that surrounded them were hot and thick and no matter how you breathed, they attacked you. The pair sat there in silence, their bodies too beat to want to operate. They remained like this for a few moments until June finally spoke.
“Why does this always happen to us?” June sighed as she sat on her throne and garbage and trash.
“I don't know. Maybe we're just unlucky.” Benni responded, shifting around to try to find a scrap of comfortability in this seemingly intolerable metal box.
There was a pause, silence had creeped its way back into their conversation until June smashed it with a hammer made of excitement when she yelled out. “Oh my God! Is it a clover!?”
Another pause accord…but this one was broken by Benni shouting, “YES! YOU FINALLY GOT IT!” June did it. She correctly guessed the item and had won. Benni was overcome with joy for his friend finally finished their game. And so the two sat, and even though they were still exhausted, in pain, and now dirty, they were no longer moping about. Instead, the container they found themselves in was now lively. They continued onward with their next game, and talked about anything and everything that popped into their dumb heads. Benni and June can be beaten down to nothing but their spirits can never be broken, not as long as they have each other.
Fin
