After my brother found out (BL) Book two

I sit with my arms crossed, thinking about my life.

How did it come to this?

Right...

A guy named Grey. And he's not just any guy... he's my older brother Court's best friend.

The light from a phone screen catches my attention, and I look back at the speech therapist. She smiles at me.

*"You zoned out there for a moment,"* she signs.

Truth be told, I don't really want to do any of this.

But Grey has put in a lot of effort to learn sign language for me, even working with his distant brother, Teal, who's fluent because he learned it in college, where he's currently studying.

So if Grey can do that, then surely I can suffer through speech therapy.

Right?

The therapist places a mirror in front of me.

*"We're going to practice how to position your tongue, lips, and jaw to make different sounds,"* she signs.

I purse my lips and nod.

Then I lean forward and stick my tongue out.

I watch her shoulders begin to shake before she throws her head back with a silent laugh. She covers her mouth with her hand before looking back at me.

*"Okay... maybe I should explain that a little better."* She smiles. *"Close your mouth. You're going to watch yourself in the mirror while I show you how to make the sounds. We'll start with the letter P."*

I pull my tongue back into my mouth.

She places her hand in front of her lips and slowly exaggerates the sound.

"P... p... paper."

Then she points to her hand and signs, *"Air."*

I furrow my brows.

What the hell...?

She gently takes my wrist and places my hand in front of my own mouth. Then she mouths the word again, slowly enough for me to read her lips.

"P... p... paper."

I copy the movement of her lips, making what I hope is the right sound before attempting the word.

I already know I sound ridiculous.

*"Did you feel the air?"* she signs.

I shake my head.

*"Exactly. That means you weren't producing the sound correctly. But that's okay!"* she signs with an encouraging smile. *"You didn't fail, Blakely. You just need practice, and I have the perfect exercises for that."*

I slowly nod.

Well... at least nobody's around to hear me.

Not my family.

And definitely not Grey.

I sink lower into my chair.

~*~

Grey's POV.

"I know this one..." I tell Teal. "You said you wanted to go to the bathroom because you have explosive diarrhea and need to excuse yourself."

He squints at me.

"This means *goodnight*..." He shakes his head. "Remember? You brush your fingertips from your lips into your open palm before signing *night*, lowering one hand over the other like the sun disappearing below the horizon. The horizon is supposed to be the biggest indicator."

"What fuckin' horizon?" I drag my hands down my face and let out a long breath.

We've been working on this for a few weeks now, and I already know it's going to take me two lifetimes to learn all of this.

"Look, just practice that for a little while. Once you're able to do it naturally, then we can move on to the next word." He pauses before asking, "I knew you and Court were best friends... but when did you and Blakely get this close?"

"You and I aren't close enough to be talking about Blakely."

My phone vibrates. I pull it from my pocket and see that Court has texted me.

***Court:*** *Hey, you wanna go to a party with me tonight?*

It's been a while since Court and I have gone to a party. We both work all the time, and if I'm not working, I'm fighting.

***Me:*** *Alright. Sounds like fun.*

I look up to see Teal getting to his feet from the living room floor.

He's been coming over to teach me sign language, but sometimes—especially when he switches from teacher mode to brother mode—he decides it's time to leave.

Teal and I don't have the best relationship.

Actually, we don't have one at all.

I'm not close with my family.

Teal keeps saying he's trying to rebuild our relationship, but I don't think it's in the cards. If we did get close again, all that would happen is my family would sit around comparing me to him.

Why would I want to be like a liar?

When he came back home because our mom had been in a car accident, he lied to me and said she'd died. Supposedly, it was to prove that family matters.

He should consider himself lucky that I'm talking to him at all.

Then again, the only reason I am talking to him is because I need his help.

I've learned a few things from him.

Just not as much as I want to.

"Well, I guess I better get going. But seriously, Grey..." He pauses, studying me for a moment. "I really do want to be close with my brother again."

I meet his eyes, but I don't know what to say.

What can I say?

If it happens, it happens.

If it doesn't...

I don't know.

I watch him make his way to the front door, letting himself out.

_________

"P-p-parpar..." Blakely says as we sit on his dorm room bed.

I nod.

...What in the hell did he just say?

I have no idea, but I throw my hands in the air before leaning in and kissing him.

He pulls back, takes out his phone, and a second later, mine vibrates.

I pull it from my pocket and read his text.

***Blakely:*** *What did I say?*

I run my tongue along the inside of my cheek.

Well... shit.

***Me:*** *Parpar.*

I look up to see Blakely reading the text, his eyebrows knitting together in frustration. His thumbs suddenly become little warriors as they fly across his screen.

Bzzz.

I glance down at my phone.

***Blakely:*** *I didn't mean to say that. That's not even a word! 😩 I was trying to say **paper**! This isn't going to work. We should just break up—*

I snap my head up, immediately hating the idea.

Break up?

Just because he mispronounced the word paper?

I know he's frustrated. Learning ASL hasn't exactly been a walk in the park for me either, but I'd rather spend years learning it than lose him.

***Me:*** *You better hope that's just the frustration talking, Blakely. I don't want to break up, and I don't think you do either. You're doing amazing. It's just going to take time—just like it did for me with ASL. You've been incredibly patient with me. Now you have to be patient with yourself.*

He looks up at me through the curtain of hair hanging in front of his eyes. He brushes it out of the way before leaning into me, and I wrap my arms around him.

See? If we broke up, we couldn't do the things he likes... like this.

We stay like that for a while before he sits back and lets out a breath.

"Pleesh..." he says, tilting his head, making me smile.

"What was that?" I ask as he watches my lips.

He exhales. "Pee-uhs..." He drops his eyelids in defeat.

I quickly turn my face away and cover my mouth with my hand, even though he can't hear the laugh I'm trying to stifle. He can definitely see it, though. I don't want him to think I'm making fun of him.

I take a steadying breath and turn back to him, only to find him staring at his phone.

Then mine vibrates.

***Blakely:*** *Please.... 😪*

I chuckle and look up at him.

"Please what?" I ask, gently taking his jaw in my hand. "Please give you more kisses?"

I lean in and kiss him.

I'm not going to lie—I never thought I could become addicted to my best friend's little brother's lips, but here we are.

They're full, soft, and taste like his natural scent mixed with the Juicy Fruit gum he's always chewing.

Wait a minute...

I pull away and fish the gum out of my mouth, twisting it between my fingers.

"This belong to you?" I ask.

He reads my lips, smiles, takes the gum from my hand, and pops it right back into his mouth.

"You're so gross..." I mumble.

He just grins, grabs my jaw, and pulls me back in, his lips melting against mine.

A moment later, though, he pushes me away as his roommate, Tyler, walks in.

I let out a quiet breath.

His friends don't dislike hearing people. They just don't think there's any way we could truly understand them, so they've built this invisible wall between themselves and anyone who can hear.

Tyler studies us for a moment before walking over to his bed and sitting down. He doesn't sign anything. Instead, he pulls out his phone and leans back against the wall.

I pull out mine too. I still have to tell Blakely that I'm going to a party with Court.

I send him the text, wondering when we're finally going to tell everyone about us.

We can't hide forever.

Court is going to find out eventually, and I'd much rather he hear it from me than from someone else.

Blakely reads the text.

Now, just because he texted me back and told me to have fun doesn't mean he's actually being honest.

The cool thing about Blakely and all of his friends is that they wear their emotions on their faces. Everything is exaggerated. I think their facial expressions are another way they communicate.

So while his text says, Okay, dude, his face is saying something completely different.

His lips puff into a pout, his eyes darken, and his eyebrows furrow.

The pout is real with this one.

I lean in, stopping just before I kiss him again. I press my lips together before pulling back with a quiet sigh.

I can't kiss my boyfriend whenever I want.

Because the truth is... we're one big secret.

I glance back down at my phone.

***Me:*** *Don't pout, Blakely. Court would definitely be on my ass if I turned down a party for no reason. And you're the one who doesn't want to tell him yet. But we trust each other. Just like you go to parties.*

Blakely squints at me after reading my text before looking back down at his phone.

I wait patiently until my phone buzzes again.

***Blakely:*** *You're always coming to my dorm when I get home from parties... ✋😒*

That's because I really like it when Blakely takes advantage of me.

I text him exactly that, watching his face turn bright red as he reads it.

He's the perfect little predator.

I chuckle quietly at my own joke, knowing no one can hear me.

***Blakely:*** *I trust you. Have fun with my brother, seriously. And we will tell him eventually. 😘*

I really hope so.

I just think the sooner we tell him, the better off we'll be.

A few seconds later, another text comes through.

***Blakely:*** *Are you excited about Halloween?*

I chuckle.

***Me:*** *What are you, nine?* I tease through the text.

Of course, my dumbass forgets to add a laughing emoji.

It's really hard to read tone or humor through text messages, especially for someone who's deaf and has never heard vocal inflection or sarcasm.

I look up and see Blakely typing again.

I'm expecting him to chew me out like all the other times I've accidentally sounded rude over text, but instead...

***Blakely:*** *Don't be a hater, babe! I am the Halloween God! Too bad you won't get to see my sexy Halloween costume. ;) It's Luigi from Mario. 😂 JK. But I will be sexy!*

Oh, I'm sure he will be.

I look up at him and smile, happy to see how much more comfortable he is around me now than he was when we first started getting close.

_________

I stare up at the house where the party is being held.

"You ready?" Court asks as I glance over at him.

"I'm as ready as I'll ever be..." I nod.

Court gives me a suspicious look.

"Okay... what's wrong, man? You're usually so excited about these parties."

He definitely has a point.

I'm in love with your little brother, and I don't want to be here because I'd rather be with him.

That's what I'm thinking.

Out loud, though, I chuckle.

"Come on, man. It'll be fun... I'm sure." I slap a hand against his shoulder.

Court shakes his head.

"Well, you sure aren't acting like it."

As we start walking toward the house, I mentally scold myself.

Get your shit together for your best friend, Grey.

Stop acting like a lovesick bitch.

I nod to myself and let out a slow breath, trying to pump myself up.

Throwing my arm around Court's shoulders, I grin.

"This is gonna be hell, boi—"

I drag him inside the house.

He jerks free and looks at me like I've completely lost my mind.

"Hey! You guys came!" Brandon calls as he walks over.

I force myself to pull it together.

"Yeah. Thanks for inviting us. We haven't been to one of your parties since..."

"High school?" Brandon laughs. "I haven't thrown one in a while because of work and everything else. I miss high school. I had way more free time back then." He shakes his head. "I don't know... I just feel old as fuck these days."

"Same," Court says with a laugh. "I thought I was the only one."

I nod in agreement.

Court's eyes drift across the room, and I follow his gaze.

"But you're never too old for women, right?"

He shoves me forward, causing me to bump into one of them.

She turns toward me.

The oldest trick in the book—one Court and I have pulled a hundred times.

"Sorry, did my friend bump into you?" Court asks, draping an arm around my shoulders. "He's clumsy. I'm Court, and you are?"

"I'm Brandi, and this is my best friend, Tanna."

"Hi." Tanna gives a small wave.

I quickly look away.

"This is my friend, Grey," Court says. "We don't have anything else to do. You girls want to hang out with us?"

"A-actually, I—"

I rake a hand through my hair.

Court looks over at me.

"Uh... I gotta use the bathroom."

Without waiting for a response, I turn and walk away.

Normally, we'd find two girls—one for me, one for Court—and spend the rest of the night flirting or hooking up.

But I can't do that anymore.

For the first time in my life, I've left my best friend hanging, and I can't even explain why.

Because his brother isn't a game to me.

And I'm not about to mess around at some stupid party I don't even want to be at.