Present
What’s going on? I couldn’t remember what I was doing, but somehow, I was in my classroom, even sitting at the first row. I heard voices—voices I couldn’t distinguish. The words, however, I could. “Ugh, why am I assigned to sit next to you?” “Hey, what makes you think someone as ugly as you can sit at her desk?” “You still like that cartoon? Are you still in kindergarten or something?” I couldn’t say a word and just stared blankly at the notebook on my desk.
Eventually, the teacher came in, and the voices stopped. She started taking roll, and I looked up, catching her gaze by accident. Oh no, I think she remembers me. “Fancy seeing you here,” she said, with this mysterious smile. “I didn’t think you’d come.” What’s that supposed to mean? “Looks like no one’s absent. Let’s start with simple introductions then. ”Please don’t call on me. Please don’t.“Would you like to go first, Somnia?”
The voices came back, along with giggles and snickers. “She doesn’t need to introduce herself,” someone murmured. “Yeah, she hasn’t changed a bit. Still the same old loser.” I wished I were anywhere else at that moment. “I...”
“Stand up and turn around, dear,” the teacher said. I’d rather not.“Say it loud and clear for the whole class to hear.” I stood up and slowly turned to face the indiscernible yet somewhat familiar faces.
“M-my name is... S-Somnia.”
I couldn’t tell the blurred faces apart, but I felt their piercing gaze. I looked around frantically, forgetting what I had wanted to say. Or had I wanted to say anything at all?
I didn’t know how long time went by, but the silence was suddenly broken by the teacher. “Well, if you don’t have anything else to say, let’s move on to the next person.” The class burst into laughter, and I turned red with embarrassment. What a mess. I’m a mess.My head dropped, and I stared at my feet. Laughter echoed in my ears. Tears started to well up in my eyes. No, it can’t end like this. I felt like a voice inside was talking to me. I mustered up my courage and looked up.
But the faces were gone. So were the desks.
The smell of sweat and fresh grass filled the air. What’s going on? Laughter broke through my thoughts, the same type as before. I blinked, and saw groups of people with their backs toward me. “Hey, does anyone wanna take the weirdo?” “No way, you take her.” Then it hit me. I’m left out again, aren’t I?
For a moment there, I felt like I’ve been in this situation before. Now’s not the time for useless thoughts. I pulled myself together, but the groups of people had already left, and the laughter faded as well.
Walking to a corner of the field, I sat down like I always did during PE. I watched as some groups played basketball and volleyball, while others chatted as they strolled around the field. Guess I’m the only one waiting for class to end again. While looking around, my eyes fixed on the empty badminton court at the far side of the field. A desire to play came out of nowhere, and I found myself walking over to the teacher, who was holding a badminton racket. “Is something wrong, Somnia?”
Voices started echoing in my ears again. “Oh look, the loser is making a move.” “I hope she doesn’t ask to join us.” I panicked, not knowing what to do. Calm down. Focus on what you want right now. I took a deep breath.
“I... would like to play badminton.”
“Badminton? Sure, the court is empty now. We can use it.”
My face lit up, but the voices were getting louder. I could’ve sworn I heard giggles, too. I rushed over to the court with my head down, not wanting to know where the voices came from. As long as I ignore them, I’ll be fi-
THUD.
I bumped into someone and fell backward onto the ground. The world around me spun for a few seconds. Ow...When I opened my eyes, their faces came into view—clear as day. The ones I had once tried so hard to forget.
This time, I was in a café, with all my classmates and our parents. Ah, I remember this place, this scene. It was the afterparty for our middle school graduation. I had rushed here to get my bag, but bumped into none other than another one of my bullies. Not that it mattered anyway, since I was picked on by the entire class. I can’t run away now. It’s now or never.
I stood up and looked directly into their eyes. They all stared back with awkward expressions that seemed to say, “Why are you here?” But the voices and laughter were gone, so I knew just what to say.
“Sorry for ruining the mood,” I said, dusting myself off. “I came here to get my bag from my dad.” I turned to leave, but stopped at the door and glanced back. As expected, they were still staring at me.
I smiled. “I hope we never see each other again.”
Stepping out of the café, I felt satisfied and proud. However, something felt off, like I was forgetting something. Something important.
BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.
It was my alarm.
I reached into my pocket for my phone and checked the time.
“Oh no, I’m late for a lecture!”
Wait. Why did I say that?
The alarm kept ringing, louder and louder, until I couldn’t ignore it anymore.
I opened my eyes.
