Some place between goodbyes and growing up

I open my eyes to sunshine filtering through my window, sitting up with a groan. “I fucking hate mornings..” i say inder my breath. After blinking rapidly and gaining consciousness of my surroundings, i gather myself up and get out of bed. I walk out of my room. I immediately head downstairs where i think about what i want for lunch because i always oversleep in the summertime. “Yes! We have leftovers!” I say in joy to no one in particular as i grab out the food from the fridge. I grab my ipad and sit at the table alone.. like always. “Damn it ebony! Stop being so full of yourself!” I say to myself as i shook my head aggressively. Once i was done eating, i threw my trash away and headed to the couch. Suddenly i get a text from my best friend, ivie. Which is weird cause we havent talked in weeks. But of course, it was her telling me about her amazing hangout with another friend of hers. Damnit ebony.. ivie is allowed to have other friends!! She texts me pictures and edits saying,”omg i actually had sm fun with kyra!!!!” I dont watch any of them. Lately getting out of bed even feels like a huge step, so i dont really even want to hang with her.. *TWO HOURS LATER* i was laying in bed when my mom suddenly yells from downstairs. “EBONY” i yell back,”YES?” “GET READY FOR HORSEBACK” “OK!” Horseback riding lessons are one of the only things keepibg me sane. I quickly get on my clothes and head back downstairs. “Are you ready sweetie?” My mom asks. “Yea, im ready” i make sure i have my helmet and gloves then head out the door and into our car. After what felt like hours we made it to the stables and i headed inside for instruction. My lesson trainer, hope says,”ebony, your riding bat today.”. Bat is one of my favorite horses to ride! After the lesson, i head back to the car and head home. I went on a call with one of my closest friends, sage. We talk and play games for awhile till i have to get off the phone. My dad comes downstairs talking to me anout something that i cant remember that i did wrong. I felt ters prick in my eyes before he can finish speaking and my throat feels stuffed. Fuck. Once he goes upstairs, i still refuse to let the sob escape me. The words,’grow up’ stamped in my head like a scar that wont escape my body. My dad never told me this, but i know he intended it once or twice. My sister, fera is going to college when summer ends and i dont know how to feel about it. Im done being compared to her in a bad way. Im nothing like her and my dad needs to realize that.